(no subject)
There are days that I think to myself "I love my town - I don't know how I'll feel about it when it's actually time to move this fall." Then all it takes is a quick drive downtown to remind me how I'll feel. Downtown Sturgis is hell. It's beyond hell. Satan wouldn't even want to hang out there. Half of one of the main roads in town is torn up, with no pavement in sight. The intersection that I normally use at least once a day to get from my house to my dad's, or other points in town, is closed, with no opening in sight. One can expect to wait at a traffic light anywhere from 2 to 10 minutes, depending on the volume of traffic. And once one half of the road is done, the other half will be closed and the process will repeat itself. To get around town, you have to pass through the road work at least once, which can be frustrating, no matter how brief your encounter may be.
Along the way, someone at City Hall - more than likely in the Downtown Development Authority - thought it would be a brilliant idea to have little cutesy things to try and make people forget how crappy the whole situation is. There are two of their ideas that piss me off the most. The first would be "Fun Fridays" or, "Not-so-Fun for Tom Fridays." These are days when a side street in downtown Sturgis (a street that COULD be used to take traffic away from the main road, making the street a little less congested) is closed down and a rather pothetic little carnival is held. The carnival is usually nothing very special. It's really just an attempt to get people to come downtown and open up their wallets. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Fun Fridays usually set up camp in the parking lot right behind my barber shop - and wouldn't you know that Fridays are the only days I'm able to get a haircut. Since the DDA was having its little psychodelic picnic in the parkind lot, I had to park almost an entire block away from my destination - something I really wouldn't mind all that much if I didn't have to cut through the festivities along my way. Every time I see a Fun Fridays carnival going on, it just reminds me how pissed I am and how much I want to scream and kick something.
Finally and most importantly would be my arch nemesis "Buddy Bear." Buddy Bear is a child of Satan dressed in a homeless man's clothing. When the road project was ready to start, public opposition increased. The DDA decided "let's make a cutesy mascot to help everyone through the process!" Hence, Buddy Bear was born. Despite the name, Buddy Bear is NOT your buddy! He is a poor excusse for a bear that wanders around downtown Sturgis heckling passing traffic and pedestrians. Today, I had the misfortune of being both a heckled motorist AND pedestrian. As I was sitting at the stop light, I noticed the damned bear on the other end of the street, pretending to dig in the dirt with a shovel and just overall acting excited about a project that I'm pissed about. He turned his attention on the motorists and he started waving to me and "dancing" along with my music (my stereo was a little loud). Normally I'd just give him the one finger salute and continue on my way - today I just tried to ignore him. When I finally found a parking spot, I started walking down what's left of the sidewalk to go get my haircut. Who should I see coming toward me? You guessed it, the face of evil himself, Buddy Bear. When I first looked at him, he was doing a rather animated mascot style walk. As soon as he knew he had caught my eye, he started to mimik my movements. I know, I know. Everyone wants to be like me, I shouldn't be suprised. Just as I was about to get angry, I thought of something: it would be pretty bitchin if I had one of the Sparty suits. If I was Sparty, I could tackle Buddy Bear and start wailing on him, and NO ONE would stop me! People would come and watch, perhaps even take pictures. Sparty is the definition of a badass mascot and NOBODY wants to mess with him. If Sparty tells you to do something, it is definately in your best interest to listen to him. Personally, I know that if I was ever driving down the street and saw Sparty wailing away on Buddy Bear, I'd stop my car in the middle of traffic and run to help him. Not because Sparty would need my help - quite the opposite, because Sparty would NEVER need my help in a fight - I'd just want to be able to say that I had Sparty's back in a fight. I need to start making connections to get Sparty down here for a "Fun Friday" some time. Mark my words, Buddy WON'T have too much fun!
Seriously, who would you rather have representing a project? This:
Or perhaps:
If you're like me, the choice is quite clear. That's just me, though. Oh well, it's true what they say....
