Back in time....another trip down memory lane...
It's hard to believe that exactly one year ago, I was just finishing up the first week of my trip to Europe. I've been thinking about that trip a lot lately, you know. They must put something in the water over there, because on nights like this, it almost seems so tempting to just drop everything, head to Detroit, and board the next flight for Frankfurt. Of course, that isn't going to happen, but you get the idea. I was out running tonight, and I looked up at the sky and scanned it for planes. It's no secret that I love to watch planes, but there is also something strangely lonely and depressing about it at the same time. I like to think about the people flying on planes I spot flying overhead at night - where are they going? Where are they coming from? What will they do when they arrive at wherever they are going? Looking up at the sky, I started to think about my friends in Germany - what are they doing now? How have they been? It was about right then that I think I really realized how big the world is, how small my tiny corner of it really is, and I think for the first time since the day I came back from Germany - when I was so depressed - I realized how much distance really separates Sturgis from Wiesloch.
So much has changed since I came back from Europe, but at the same time, I think it was all for the best. If I would have stayed home from from the bus trip to pick up the German exchange students in the April 05 exchange, I never would have realized how much I really wanted to go to Europe, which means that I probably would have just ended up staying home from Europe when my family went over. If I would have stayed home, I never would have gotten the idea in my head that I wanted to move there in the following winter, which means I would have stuck with the original plan and just gone to Central Michigan University in the fall. If I would have gone to Central, that would mean that I wouldn't have gone back to Glen Oaks, which means I wouldn't have made all the grand friends I made there. I also never would have gone to Edwardsburg to watch the Spartan Band march, which means I never would have realized how much I really want to go to State. Of course, since I would be at Central, this would meant that I do not crack down and bust ass to gain admission to State and the SMB, which means I would not have gained admission to either. This would have kept me from a number of friendships, memories, and experiences that I haven't even started to realize yet. Do I plan on returning to Germany again soon - possibly a bit longer-term this time? You bet I do. The idea of living in Germany for a year or two is still something I would like to shoot for. It's just on the back-burner for now. The past few days, I've kind of marveled at just how much one insignificant event - agreeing to ride the bus up to the Detroit airport to pick up a group of German exchange students - many of whom I haven't seen since, and doubt I ever will - can trigger a series of events that has led me to where I am right now. It reminds me of a talk I gave at a Mormon church meeting in South Haven last winter. I said something to the effect hat one seemingly insignificant event can set us down a path that can lead to life-changing events. In this case, it was a series of smaller events - for example, the bus ride to Detroit, the decision to go to Germany, and the trip to Edwardsburg - coupled with much bigger decisions - the decision to ditch CMU, the plans to move to Germany, the decision to make another crack at MSU admissions, etc. - that's led me to where I am now. Of course, I'm extremely happy with where I am right now...thrilled, actually...but there are a series of opportunity costs that are impossible to measure (Thanks for the vocab word, Lester...). What if I would have ended up staying home? Would I have done something that would possibly turn out to be even bigger than the Germany trip? What if I would have gone to CMU? Would I have been happy there? Who would I have met? What would I be doing now? Is it possible that I could have been just as happy - perhaps even more so - as I am now if I would have gone to CMU? Personally, I doubt it - however, it is impossible to say.
Most of my life, I've scoffed at the idea of "destiny" or "fate." Simply put, I thought they were just wishy-washy words that film writers like to toss into girl movies to make them seem more insightful, and perhaps even give their viewers a glimer of hope. Lately, when I've thought of all the things that have had to happen to arrive at this point, am convinced that it is my FATE to be at the point I am now (fate as in related to destiny...not fate as in death...). I'm convinced that I am meant to go to MSU...it sounds a bit far fetched, I know...the argument can also be made that Hitler was convinced that he was saved from an attempt made on his life to bring the world into a "brighter era". Just because a person believes something is their "divine purpose" doesn't exactly make it so, I know. However, I could make a list as long as my arm of things that have happened in the past 10 years that lead to this point. Some may call it just a meaningless series of events, and maybe they are right for all I know. I'd like to think there is something a little deeper - like maybe I'm starting to see that God really does hear me when I pray to guide me to where I am meant to be, and mold me into the person I am meant to be. (It's amazing how I originally planned on making this a picture post, but got side-tracked.....)
So then...what does the future hold for our eager traveler? What awaits me in the months and years to come? Will the end result be greater than the possible opportunity cost (once again, impossible to calculate)? Will MSU be all that I've imagined it will be (I definately think it will)? As meaningless as some things seem, they definately contribute to the overall picture. I'll use "The Cafe Terrace on the Place du Forum" by van Gogh as an example (since it is hanging on my wall and easy to relate). In the painting, there is a table that is smaller than the rest of the tables that I've never quite been able to figure out why it's even there. If van Gogh would have decided to exclude that one, seemingly one meaningless table from his painting, how would the overall picture change? Would it be better? Maybe worse? About the same? Who can say. Such is true in life, I suppose. Maybe it's been fate, or maybe it's a combination of mood swings, coincidence, and a case of gas...let's wait and see.