(no subject)
So my father sat me down today after he found all the food i had stuffed in my school bag. Why he was going through it i dont know but i cant belive i forgot to flush it all. I am so fucking stpid. I'm gonna have to be more careful. I played it down and everything, i hope he was convinced. I am terrified he will tell my mum as she already knows about my purging attempts and said if stuff like this carried on she would have to tell my dad. I lied. A lot. I lie al the time and i hate it but its the only way. If people would leave me alone then i wouldn't have too. Trouble is i dont feel guilty.
My dad also toldd me about how is relashionship with his girlfriend is not going well. Why he told me i dont know, i hate her and he knows it. God, on his phone he dosent have one pic of me or my sister yet he has loads of "happy-family" holiday snaps with Janet and her kids. I wish i was part of that. I wish he would just care and actually realise we existe. He see's us twice a week, even then he cant pick us up on time. He said he dosent want me to starve myself, he can get lost. I have one it for this long, i have acheived so much. I will not give up know. If kicking, screaming and hiding food is what it takes then so fucking be it! Ive already got mum on my case, i dont need him too.
On the up side i clean for 2-21/2 hours today. Hovering, dusting, folding laundry, cooking, all burn cals. I need to up my exercise more, but my toe is still pretty sore so i thought doing chores would both please my dad and burn lots of cals. I love to cook but never ever lick spoons or knives, pickup and eat crumble, have the tinest bite or taste, eat anything i cook. So why am i so obbsesed with cooking? I guess its just being around food, plus it makes me more resistant. Later i am going waling around shoping in town
so i can burn even more cals. My dad walks fast too so keeping up wih him means i willbe walking pretty quick. Nice and brisk so burning lots of cals.
I am shitting myself over exams 2morrow, good thing i have a 250 cal day so i will be able to have a good brekkie and set myself up for the day.
This Weeks Menu:
Tuesday(200) : 1/4 weetabix - 17 + 1/4 muller light yogurt - 28 + 5 small strawberries - 10 = 55
Lunch: 1/2 muller yogurt - 61
Dinner:
Total = 196
Wednesday(150) : 1/2 weetabix ( mash up, add water, microwave, stir, sprikle with cinammon) - 32
Lunch: 10 grams of Cherrios cereal - 37
5 carrot sticks (3-inches) - 15
Dinner: 5 tablespoons of carrots, boiled without salt - 15
8 table spoons or 1/3 cup of Brocolli - 38
1/2 quorn burger - 19
Thursday(100) : 1/2 weetabix (same as Wednesday) - 32
Lunch: 5 carrot sticks (3 inches) = 15
3 strawberries = 6
Snack: ice
50 grams Youngs Tiger Prawns = 33
2 tablespoons salsa (Uncle bens Thick and Chunky Salsa) = 10
2 handfuls Asda Italian style Salad = 10
Total = 106
Friday(50): 25 grams yeo-valley fat-free vanilla yogurt = 21
2 slices of a small apple = 15
(Slice apple warm, warm inmicrowave, pur over with yogurt and sprinkle with cinammon)
Lunch: 2 carrot sticks = 6
Dinner: 16 tablespoons (1 cup) garden peas = 11.5
Total: 53.5
Saturday(800): 1 sachet rapberry oatso simple with 180 mls of semi-skimmed milk = 212
Snack: 1 ryvita goodness bar = 62
Lunch: Subway sandwhichs - Tomatoe and Garden Vegetable with Rotini subway soup = 90
Snack: Cappucino = 35
Dinner:
Marks and spencer Thai Prawns (28.0g) = 30
1 Marks and Spencer vegetable spring roll = 70
1/2 pack rice Marks and Spencer basmati rice = 95
1 Marks and Spencer chocolate pancake = 125 OR 1/8th slice of bakewell tart, no cream = 173
Sunday(200): 2 slices melba toast = 26 cals
3 strawberries = 6 cals
Lunch = Frozen Fruit parfait (1/4 large banana 30 + 1/4 weetabix 17 + 1/4 muller vanilla fat free yogurt 26) = 73
Dinner = Up to 100 cals
My dad also toldd me about how is relashionship with his girlfriend is not going well. Why he told me i dont know, i hate her and he knows it. God, on his phone he dosent have one pic of me or my sister yet he has loads of "happy-family" holiday snaps with Janet and her kids. I wish i was part of that. I wish he would just care and actually realise we existe. He see's us twice a week, even then he cant pick us up on time. He said he dosent want me to starve myself, he can get lost. I have one it for this long, i have acheived so much. I will not give up know. If kicking, screaming and hiding food is what it takes then so fucking be it! Ive already got mum on my case, i dont need him too.
On the up side i clean for 2-21/2 hours today. Hovering, dusting, folding laundry, cooking, all burn cals. I need to up my exercise more, but my toe is still pretty sore so i thought doing chores would both please my dad and burn lots of cals. I love to cook but never ever lick spoons or knives, pickup and eat crumble, have the tinest bite or taste, eat anything i cook. So why am i so obbsesed with cooking? I guess its just being around food, plus it makes me more resistant. Later i am going waling around shoping in town
so i can burn even more cals. My dad walks fast too so keeping up wih him means i willbe walking pretty quick. Nice and brisk so burning lots of cals.
I am shitting myself over exams 2morrow, good thing i have a 250 cal day so i will be able to have a good brekkie and set myself up for the day.
This Weeks Menu:
Tuesday(200) : 1/4 weetabix - 17 + 1/4 muller light yogurt - 28 + 5 small strawberries - 10 = 55
Lunch: 1/2 muller yogurt - 61
Dinner:
Total = 196
Wednesday(150) : 1/2 weetabix ( mash up, add water, microwave, stir, sprikle with cinammon) - 32
Lunch: 10 grams of Cherrios cereal - 37
5 carrot sticks (3-inches) - 15
Dinner: 5 tablespoons of carrots, boiled without salt - 15
8 table spoons or 1/3 cup of Brocolli - 38
1/2 quorn burger - 19
Thursday(100) : 1/2 weetabix (same as Wednesday) - 32
Lunch: 5 carrot sticks (3 inches) = 15
3 strawberries = 6
Snack: ice
50 grams Youngs Tiger Prawns = 33
2 tablespoons salsa (Uncle bens Thick and Chunky Salsa) = 10
2 handfuls Asda Italian style Salad = 10
Total = 106
Friday(50): 25 grams yeo-valley fat-free vanilla yogurt = 21
2 slices of a small apple = 15
(Slice apple warm, warm inmicrowave, pur over with yogurt and sprinkle with cinammon)
Lunch: 2 carrot sticks = 6
Dinner: 16 tablespoons (1 cup) garden peas = 11.5
Total: 53.5
Saturday(800): 1 sachet rapberry oatso simple with 180 mls of semi-skimmed milk = 212
Snack: 1 ryvita goodness bar = 62
Lunch: Subway sandwhichs - Tomatoe and Garden Vegetable with Rotini subway soup = 90
Snack: Cappucino = 35
Dinner:
Marks and spencer Thai Prawns (28.0g) = 30
1 Marks and Spencer vegetable spring roll = 70
1/2 pack rice Marks and Spencer basmati rice = 95
1 Marks and Spencer chocolate pancake = 125 OR 1/8th slice of bakewell tart, no cream = 173
Sunday(200): 2 slices melba toast = 26 cals
3 strawberries = 6 cals
Lunch = Frozen Fruit parfait (1/4 large banana 30 + 1/4 weetabix 17 + 1/4 muller vanilla fat free yogurt 26) = 73
Dinner = Up to 100 cals