i'm back.
i said i was done, and i figured i wasn't. i did hold out for longer than i thought i would, though.
basically, i've been keeping really really busy. not entirely by choice, but i guess that's not a bad thing. it's better than dwelling on all the negatives and falling into a shitty state.
i work literally all the time. i've been averaging 40-50 hours a week. it's not terrible, and i don't hate my job. i just hate the way they schedule me. i don't even mind working so many hours, cause the money is good, but every week they schedule me thursday-monday, so my only 2 days off each week are tuesday and wednesday, which aren't exactly the best days to have off. middle of the week...awesome.
school's going ok i guess...i don't like it much. i'm definitely not going to be staying there for much longer than i have to. i'm too smart to be at a school like that. i don't mean that as a knock at new england tech...but it's basically a school for people who have run out of options. i did run out of options, but by sucking it up and going there for a little while, i'm creating new options. i'm not entirely sure where it is i'd like to go. that's likely because i don't know what i want to do. i don't want to move around much, and i definitely don't want to go someplace totally new where i don't know anyone, because i've been through too much college already to completely start over someplace where i know absolutely nobody. so basically i've narrowed it down to two choices: i'm either going to find a "real" college in rhode island or i'm going to go back to marist. the latter sounds so simple, but i really think that getting back in will be difficult. and not only that, but i still can't figure out whether i want to go back to marist to get my degree or i want to go back to marist to be with my friends and be in a place that i love. i think that because i have that uncertainty in my mind, it's probably choice b. but at the same time...i have no idea what it is i want to do...and i'm over halfway to a comm degree at marist...rather than doing nothing with my life or doing something i hate...maybe i should just finish my degree at marist and at least have a degree in something?
i don't know. yes, pretty much all my friends would be graduating at the end of this year. yes, i don't know how i'd react to that. but at the same time, i don't have many options.
all the boys are back at marist and from the sounds of it, they're having an amazing time. i can imagine. it must be so much fun...its the 4th time around for them, they must be getting so good at it. and finally living all together must be sweet. we'd been looking forward to that for a long time. it's their last year and i'm sure they're living it up. yeah...i'm bummed out.
last night i went to dubbs' house cause i'm working all weekend and he's leaving saturday. i know i have a few friends in town but once he leaves everything's really going to change. we've been so tight all summer. he's not going far but its just that concept. nothing against the friends i have here...you know i love you. but i'm really going to be "alone" now. i mean, with people my age or whatever. i'm a townie. i'm a weird kid that's about to turn 21 and i'm living in my mom's basement.
i have to get ready for work.
basically, i've been keeping really really busy. not entirely by choice, but i guess that's not a bad thing. it's better than dwelling on all the negatives and falling into a shitty state.
i work literally all the time. i've been averaging 40-50 hours a week. it's not terrible, and i don't hate my job. i just hate the way they schedule me. i don't even mind working so many hours, cause the money is good, but every week they schedule me thursday-monday, so my only 2 days off each week are tuesday and wednesday, which aren't exactly the best days to have off. middle of the week...awesome.
school's going ok i guess...i don't like it much. i'm definitely not going to be staying there for much longer than i have to. i'm too smart to be at a school like that. i don't mean that as a knock at new england tech...but it's basically a school for people who have run out of options. i did run out of options, but by sucking it up and going there for a little while, i'm creating new options. i'm not entirely sure where it is i'd like to go. that's likely because i don't know what i want to do. i don't want to move around much, and i definitely don't want to go someplace totally new where i don't know anyone, because i've been through too much college already to completely start over someplace where i know absolutely nobody. so basically i've narrowed it down to two choices: i'm either going to find a "real" college in rhode island or i'm going to go back to marist. the latter sounds so simple, but i really think that getting back in will be difficult. and not only that, but i still can't figure out whether i want to go back to marist to get my degree or i want to go back to marist to be with my friends and be in a place that i love. i think that because i have that uncertainty in my mind, it's probably choice b. but at the same time...i have no idea what it is i want to do...and i'm over halfway to a comm degree at marist...rather than doing nothing with my life or doing something i hate...maybe i should just finish my degree at marist and at least have a degree in something?
i don't know. yes, pretty much all my friends would be graduating at the end of this year. yes, i don't know how i'd react to that. but at the same time, i don't have many options.
all the boys are back at marist and from the sounds of it, they're having an amazing time. i can imagine. it must be so much fun...its the 4th time around for them, they must be getting so good at it. and finally living all together must be sweet. we'd been looking forward to that for a long time. it's their last year and i'm sure they're living it up. yeah...i'm bummed out.
last night i went to dubbs' house cause i'm working all weekend and he's leaving saturday. i know i have a few friends in town but once he leaves everything's really going to change. we've been so tight all summer. he's not going far but its just that concept. nothing against the friends i have here...you know i love you. but i'm really going to be "alone" now. i mean, with people my age or whatever. i'm a townie. i'm a weird kid that's about to turn 21 and i'm living in my mom's basement.
i have to get ready for work.