mindless
times going pretty damn slow since my mom decided to be nancy drew.
she like PLEADED with my step father the other day for me not to shoot up anymore.
she was like smoke pot i dont care if you smoke pot, and i was like i dont LIKE pot and she was like well tRY IT AGAIN.
haha. omg okay so she doesnt want me doing illegal drgs but POT is okay. maybe she should have thought of that when i WAS a pothead and decded to switch to something else because it was to hard to hide..
right...
well ive been eating like mad cuz im going fucking stir crazy being LOCKED in my house. and purging so much.
today my throat hurt SO bad i literally COULDNT purge. i couldnt. so thats 240 cals i have in me and i feel awful.
im still at 114.6 which is good but id like to get back to me 112- that i was before i went up north..
its so hard to get out of the binging stage. its ALOT harder now taht my boyfriend AND little brother are here because therse SO MUCH junk food in the house that i never usually have to deal with, like cookies, chips, ice cream, fruit snacks, candy. oh my god. i hate it.
i need to get high.....
i told the kid who was in love with me i couldnt do it anymore, i couldnt risk the boyfriend finding out. i feel SO guilty.......ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
why do i always do that....always have..i hope its not one of those, "always have always will" type of things..
people can change....right..........?
PS.28 days later=amazing.