Arachnophobia
Jensen’s in the living room when it happens.
He’s just lounging on the sofa, watching the game and taking a sip of his beer, when he feels something on his other hand, which is resting over the top of the couch. At first he just assumes it’s Harley or Sadie sniffing at him, before he realizes that a) neither of those monsters could get to the top of the couch without him noticing, and b) that was NOT the wet and sniffly feel of a dog nose.
Jensen turns his head slowly and sees a huge, hairy black spider abruptly stop crawling over his fingers like it knows it’s in trouble.
To say Jensen loses his shit would be an understatement.
“JARED!!” he screams in a decidedly feminine voice as he scrambles away from the couch and flees to the kitchen, shaking his hand like he’s burned it. He’s frantically washing his hands, soap bubbles literally flying over the sink, when Jared arrives after stomping down the stairs.
“…where’s the fire?” he asks slowly when he sees what Jensen’s doing. Jensen spins around, wild-eyed, and points wordlessly to the living room.
“Uh-uh. Tell me what it is that’s got your panties in a twist,” Jared replies, lips curving upwards into a grin, folding his arms across his chest.
“You KNOW what’s in there, Jared!” Jensen says shrilly, still scrubbing insistently at his hands.
“Dude, you’ve got to get over your little bitchfit with spiders. It’s kinda gay.”
“Last night, you sucked me off to Barbie Girl.”
“Yeah, and that was hysterical. And magical. This is just sad.”
“You didn’t see it, Jared! It’s HUGE! And hairy, and black, and-“
“I’m not getting it. You need to get over this. And we’re starting step one today,” Jared’s grin is full blown-now, and he steps forward to yank Jensen into the living room. Jensen holds his ground, splashing him with soapy water and struggling as hard as he can until Jared just heaves a huge sigh and physically picks Jensen up, bridal-style.
“Put me down, asshole!”
“Nope!” Jared says cheerily. He sets Jensen down in front of the couch, who squeezes his eyes shut and just stands there like he’s afraid to move.
“…Where is it?” Jared asks after a minute.
“It’s not here?!”
Jared makes a show of checking behind the couch and under their expansive coffee table before shaking his head.
“Oh my god, it went to get its friends,” Jensen says, eyes darting around the room like he’s expecting a horde of angry spiders to just materialize on the coffee table with the express purpose of murdering him.
Jared just rolls his eyes and goes back upstairs.
“You’re a shitty knight in shining armor!” Jensen calls up the stairs. Jared just laughs at him and says back “see if you ever get blown again.”
Jensen narrows his eyes and flips the innocent upper level of their house off.
“Dick,” he hears Jared say.
Jensen wanders back into the living room after grabbing a spatula from the kitchen. An honest-to-god spatula. He didn’t know where the bug spray was, and this was an emergency, dammit.
“Alright, guys,” he tells Harley and Sadie, who both came out to the living room during Jensen’s little shitfit to see what the commotion was. They stare at him blankly.
“Now is your chance to earn your keep around here. We need to find the spider and its entire family and friends, and kill them. All of them.”
Sadie gets bored and wanders upstairs. Harley just goes over to the large pet bed Jared bought them years ago and flops down into a huge, tan-colored heap, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he pants happily.
“Useless,” Jensen mutters.
---
It’s nearly midnight, and Jensen still hasn’t found the damn thing. Jared had been upstairs nearly all day, sleeping, showering, and getting through his emails (which of course he only checked about once a week). He comes thundering down the stairs at quarter of, and flat-out laughs when he sees Jensen perched on the very edge of the couch, tense and armed with a spatula.
Jensen turns his head to give Jared a sour look.
“You’re an ass.”
Jared’s still laughing at him when he suddenly stops, eyes fixated on a spot just above Jensen’s left shoulder.
“Oh god, it’s right behind me, isn’t it?!”
“Don’t freak out,” Jared tells him. He takes a tentative step forward and the spider scurries a foot higher on the wall. Jensen’s so still that Jared thinks he may have forgotten to breathe.
“Jensen, get off the couch,” Jared tells him quietly. Jensen shakes his head.
“Can’t move,” he says after a moment, like it took him a minute to remember how to speak.
“Jensen, I need you to get off the couch so I can just kill the damn thing without it falling on you,” Jared tells him clearly, inching forward as he speaks. The image alone seems to frighten Jensen into motion, and he darts away from where he had been perched and literally hides behind Jared.
“I’m so glad you’re a fucking giant,” Jensen tells him. Jared rolls his eyes.
“Go get me a paper towel or something.”
Jensen skitters into the kitchen and comes back moments later, paper towel roll in hand. Jared tears off a few squares and covers the spider with them in one quick motion. His fingers pinch at the towel and Jensen thinks he can actually hear the spider’s death crunch. He gives Jared a wide berth as he makes his way to the trash can in the kitchen and throws the wad of paper encasing the dead arachnid away.
“…Are you sure it-“
“It’s dead,” Jared assures him. A grin breaks out on his face and he turns to Jensen.
“You do realize you’re not going to be allowed to top for at least a month, right?”
Jensen glares but he can’t keep the smile off his face for long, and it’s only a few seconds after that that he’s enveloping Jared in a hug.
“My hero,” he says before stealing a kiss.
---
Comments are fun :D
He’s just lounging on the sofa, watching the game and taking a sip of his beer, when he feels something on his other hand, which is resting over the top of the couch. At first he just assumes it’s Harley or Sadie sniffing at him, before he realizes that a) neither of those monsters could get to the top of the couch without him noticing, and b) that was NOT the wet and sniffly feel of a dog nose.
Jensen turns his head slowly and sees a huge, hairy black spider abruptly stop crawling over his fingers like it knows it’s in trouble.
To say Jensen loses his shit would be an understatement.
“JARED!!” he screams in a decidedly feminine voice as he scrambles away from the couch and flees to the kitchen, shaking his hand like he’s burned it. He’s frantically washing his hands, soap bubbles literally flying over the sink, when Jared arrives after stomping down the stairs.
“…where’s the fire?” he asks slowly when he sees what Jensen’s doing. Jensen spins around, wild-eyed, and points wordlessly to the living room.
“Uh-uh. Tell me what it is that’s got your panties in a twist,” Jared replies, lips curving upwards into a grin, folding his arms across his chest.
“You KNOW what’s in there, Jared!” Jensen says shrilly, still scrubbing insistently at his hands.
“Dude, you’ve got to get over your little bitchfit with spiders. It’s kinda gay.”
“Last night, you sucked me off to Barbie Girl.”
“Yeah, and that was hysterical. And magical. This is just sad.”
“You didn’t see it, Jared! It’s HUGE! And hairy, and black, and-“
“I’m not getting it. You need to get over this. And we’re starting step one today,” Jared’s grin is full blown-now, and he steps forward to yank Jensen into the living room. Jensen holds his ground, splashing him with soapy water and struggling as hard as he can until Jared just heaves a huge sigh and physically picks Jensen up, bridal-style.
“Put me down, asshole!”
“Nope!” Jared says cheerily. He sets Jensen down in front of the couch, who squeezes his eyes shut and just stands there like he’s afraid to move.
“…Where is it?” Jared asks after a minute.
“It’s not here?!”
Jared makes a show of checking behind the couch and under their expansive coffee table before shaking his head.
“Oh my god, it went to get its friends,” Jensen says, eyes darting around the room like he’s expecting a horde of angry spiders to just materialize on the coffee table with the express purpose of murdering him.
Jared just rolls his eyes and goes back upstairs.
“You’re a shitty knight in shining armor!” Jensen calls up the stairs. Jared just laughs at him and says back “see if you ever get blown again.”
Jensen narrows his eyes and flips the innocent upper level of their house off.
“Dick,” he hears Jared say.
Jensen wanders back into the living room after grabbing a spatula from the kitchen. An honest-to-god spatula. He didn’t know where the bug spray was, and this was an emergency, dammit.
“Alright, guys,” he tells Harley and Sadie, who both came out to the living room during Jensen’s little shitfit to see what the commotion was. They stare at him blankly.
“Now is your chance to earn your keep around here. We need to find the spider and its entire family and friends, and kill them. All of them.”
Sadie gets bored and wanders upstairs. Harley just goes over to the large pet bed Jared bought them years ago and flops down into a huge, tan-colored heap, tongue lolling out of his mouth as he pants happily.
“Useless,” Jensen mutters.
---
It’s nearly midnight, and Jensen still hasn’t found the damn thing. Jared had been upstairs nearly all day, sleeping, showering, and getting through his emails (which of course he only checked about once a week). He comes thundering down the stairs at quarter of, and flat-out laughs when he sees Jensen perched on the very edge of the couch, tense and armed with a spatula.
Jensen turns his head to give Jared a sour look.
“You’re an ass.”
Jared’s still laughing at him when he suddenly stops, eyes fixated on a spot just above Jensen’s left shoulder.
“Oh god, it’s right behind me, isn’t it?!”
“Don’t freak out,” Jared tells him. He takes a tentative step forward and the spider scurries a foot higher on the wall. Jensen’s so still that Jared thinks he may have forgotten to breathe.
“Jensen, get off the couch,” Jared tells him quietly. Jensen shakes his head.
“Can’t move,” he says after a moment, like it took him a minute to remember how to speak.
“Jensen, I need you to get off the couch so I can just kill the damn thing without it falling on you,” Jared tells him clearly, inching forward as he speaks. The image alone seems to frighten Jensen into motion, and he darts away from where he had been perched and literally hides behind Jared.
“I’m so glad you’re a fucking giant,” Jensen tells him. Jared rolls his eyes.
“Go get me a paper towel or something.”
Jensen skitters into the kitchen and comes back moments later, paper towel roll in hand. Jared tears off a few squares and covers the spider with them in one quick motion. His fingers pinch at the towel and Jensen thinks he can actually hear the spider’s death crunch. He gives Jared a wide berth as he makes his way to the trash can in the kitchen and throws the wad of paper encasing the dead arachnid away.
“…Are you sure it-“
“It’s dead,” Jared assures him. A grin breaks out on his face and he turns to Jensen.
“You do realize you’re not going to be allowed to top for at least a month, right?”
Jensen glares but he can’t keep the smile off his face for long, and it’s only a few seconds after that that he’s enveloping Jared in a hug.
“My hero,” he says before stealing a kiss.
---
Comments are fun :D