I Tend to Prefer "There" to "Back Again"
I'm back home, and I miss my north Georgia buddies already. :( Woe that I have not mastered the power of teleportation. Someday I will indeed break out as a Tomorrow Person. Mind... like... a fist...
The night before I left, _feckless and I went to see Eragon, which is hilariously awful when it's not just being brain-breaky. Poor, poor Jeremy Irons. If you choose to subject yourself to it, bear the following points in mind:
In other news, I HAVE A WII. I pounced like a wildcat upon a fortuitously timed shipment and came away with a sleek white joybox in my jaws. Our wireless connection here is so terrible that it took me twenty minutes to download a small system update, but I do not care. WII WII WII. Soon I can post my Wii friend code and send my horrible little Miis out to mingle. And yes, the freakish orange creature has already been re-created. It wants to come over and play.
The night before I left, _feckless and I went to see Eragon, which is hilariously awful when it's not just being brain-breaky. Poor, poor Jeremy Irons. If you choose to subject yourself to it, bear the following points in mind:
- The plot is Star Wars: A New Hope with the serial numbers filed off. We start with a princess fleeing from the evil second-in-command of the evil emperor, who captures her moments after she manages to send away the key to defeating the Empire. Said key finds its way to a blond farmboy whose uncle is killed by the Stormtroopers evil soldiers who come looking for it, so our farmboy heads off to become a Jedi dragonrider with his new master, who was once a Jedi dragonrider himself and who dies in the course of saving the princess. Then the Death Star finds the rebel base, but the farmboy saves the day with his flying skills. YES REALLY.
- Most of the names, on the other hand, come from The Lord of the Rings with the vowels shaken up a bit. There are also many, many shots that appear to have been borrowed from the recent LotR films.
- "Elvish" brings the lulz.
- WIG!
- The dialogue is better if you pretend that it is always about sex. It's even more fun than appending "in bed" to your fortune cookie fortunes!
- Do you remember the masterful special effects in Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills? Of course you do. Their inbred offspring have found employment as Eragon's "Y HALO THAR MAGIC" glow effects.
- You can play Spot the Idiot Plot with great scenes like "The enemy is upon us! Let's lead them right into the secret base! Seriously, guys, they're standing there watching us" and "Hi, I'm Angst McBangs, and I've been milling around this enemy fortress for like a month now in hopes that you'd wander in and give me a chance to show off. So glad that worked out for us."
- Don't miss the scene where a lightning strike causes the dragon to grow huge and learn a new language. I wish that worked in real life: "Cool, I went out with a metal rod in a bad storm, and now I'm 6'4", totally buff, and fluent in Russian!"
In other news, I HAVE A WII. I pounced like a wildcat upon a fortuitously timed shipment and came away with a sleek white joybox in my jaws. Our wireless connection here is so terrible that it took me twenty minutes to download a small system update, but I do not care. WII WII WII. Soon I can post my Wii friend code and send my horrible little Miis out to mingle. And yes, the freakish orange creature has already been re-created. It wants to come over and play.