We the Jury Find the New Crown English Textbook Guilty of the Following Offenses:

Mar 08, 2005 19:00

  1. Dropping the periods from Dr., Mr., Ms., etc. even though the books are supposed to teach American English.
  2. Presenting "there're" as good written English.
  3. Punctuating song titles 'Like This'.
  4. Actually, just the horrible abuse of inverted commas in general. There isn't even a discernable method to the madness.
  5. Pretending that there is an English rule requiring dates and times to be given as "at 10 am, February 24."
  6. Pretending that "am" is ever an okay abbreviation for ante meridiem.
  7. Insisting that "okay" is spelt "OK."
  8. Using "which" in restrictive clauses in horribly awkward ways.
  9. Claiming that "they're" is two syllables and not homophonous with "there."
  10. Fudging the IPA to pretend that "er" is pronounced as a schwa.
  11. "We usually think that the ocean is just water. In fact, the ocean has many different types of water, for example, warm water and cold water."
  12. General lawlessness regarding commas.
  13. Using ellipses incorrectly every single time. "Do you mean... ." does not fly under any known rule set.
  14. Refusing to acknowledge that, in real English, "Do you know this person?" is not synonymous with "Do you know who this person is?"
  15. Printing an exclamation mark, followed by a quotation mark, followed by a period. This makes the court want to stab the responsible party in the face.
The defendent is hereby sentenced to be handed over to Shun the Inattentive and his X-acto knife. And do sit down, Mr. Matlock; you're already in contempt of court.

grammaticide, [ol], la vida japonés

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