[Zhaneel has much on her mind and it's already caused several sleepless nights. Aara's post had only made he matter that much more apparent and the gryphon knew she had to takes steps. There were those here that watched out for her and those she cared for more than even herself, but she was not helpless
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[Yeah that conversation didn't go at all as planned and Zhaneel was feeling foolish and like she'd made the wrong choice in addressing Sandrath at all. But she couldn't reasonably make a decision about how she felt if she did not know the full story. Even if Kloe felt she didn't need to know all of it, which the gryphon certainly knew now.
And now her mind was heavy and she felt terrible and confused and just wanted to go fly until her muscles screamed in agony. Fly through the magical curtain and make her way home... and she'd left very little there to miss.
Her conversation with Sandrath over, Zhaneel begins to make her way to the bonfire where Varric had said he'd meet her. She wasn't certain he'd still be there, but she hoped he'd waited and she hadn't been too long. She walks though, choosing that method rather than flight to give herself a bit more time to think.
The bonfire in sight her ear tufts flick back and she debates briefly with herself, but stays the course, her voice almost hesitant as she calls for her friend.]
Varric?
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And even aside from that, he's not about to leave her alone when she'd been so obviously distressed. Not that he's all that certain there's much he can do to help, considering he's pretty sure anything she's got to be distressed about involves either that pumpkin fiasco, or Kloe.
One he hadn't been able to do anything about, and the other was a complicated matter. One that they'd need to talk about, of course, but that could wait, until after he'd figured out what was wrong and at least tried to help.]
Here, Feathers.
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It's been a short time since she's seen her friend and she doesn't stop until she's right at him, lowering and planting her head against his chest, ear tufts flattening against her skull.
Her wings fan slightly before folding along her back and she finally allows herself a sigh that seems to relax her again. A good amount of tension seeps out in that sigh, thankfully, but not all of it.
She's glad to see you, Varric.]
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He doesn't say anything for the moment, just keeps up the soothing motions as she sighs and some of the tension drains out of her. He'll let her set the pace, or at least give a few moments of quiet comfort before he asks any questions.]
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She had been upset to hear that Anders had attacked Kloe, but she had done him no harm in the end. She had been most stricken to hear of a similar assault at the hands of Sandrath, another she would call friend.
She closes her eyes and enjoys the closeness of Varric's form, making soft trilling sounds low in her throat as his hand moves getly over her head. When she finally speaks, her voice is soft.]
Is there any way to keep them from killing one another, Varric? I know I cannot make someone be friendly toward another if the want is not there on both sides, but this fighting is senseless.
Anders is your friend and I myself fought to defend him and would do so again, but Kloe is a friend also. And Sandrath...
[She shakes her head slightly.]
The entire situation there was handled poorly, but it is done and there is no way to undo it but I do not think it will be moved on from or forgotten. People here seem far too willing to hold onto grudges rather than working through them.
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When something like that happens, Feathers, people want someone to blame. Especially if that someone could technically be considered at fault, whatever their intentions. With Anders - he could forgive harm to himself, but it's more difficult to think clearly when people you care about are hurt.
[Like he's one to talk, there. As if it wasn't the memory of the last time he held Zhaneel in a similar fashion, when she was dying, of Riku having to be the one to put Varric down, of Justice taking over when Anders had no memories and leaving him scared and traumatized, of Hawke holed up in the stable towers, blaming himself, of Aara confused and scared and hallucinating, that made him unwilling to forgive Kloe for her part.]
It's complicated, with Anders. But Hawke and I are working on it.
[There's a pause after that.]
What happened with Sandrath?
[His voice is mostly neutral, with a hint of concern. Mostly because he's hiding that he's ready to be very displeased if this guy did something to hurt her.]
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I know there is no undoing the past, Varric... and that hoping that people will just move on and accept the matter has passed is pointless. I do not seek to begrudge those that are unhappy and angry those feelings. Many died because of the illness Kloe passed to others and it will not soon be forgotten. I will never forget it, nor the end result I suffered because of it. I am glad that there are those that care for me enough to be upset about it... I just wish that those that wish Kloe harm would let the matter go. There is nothing to be gained from doing her harm arter she has apologized and been healed by the Keep doctor. I do not expect anyone to seek her out for friendship, but I would hope the pointless deaths would stop.
[Zhaneel herself had hated seeing others die and fight when they were supposedly all that had survived the end of their worlds. She had not enjoyed dying, and she was still haunted some nights by nightmares that brought it all back to her, but she would not seek to do Kloe harm; even if they were not friends. She tilts her head slightly and looks up at Varric, golden eye large and unblinking as it focuses on him.]
I wish you to know that I bear Anders no ill will... he is your friend and is such my own. I meant when I said that I defended him and would do so again if need be. [She didn't understand what was happening to the Mage, but she trusted Varric when he said the he and Hawke were working on it.] if you need help, you have only to ask and I will do what I am able...
[Then the conversation turns to her newest aquaintance and she sighs, pulling her head back finally from where she leaned against him.]
I asked him what happened between he and Kloe, even though she asked me to leave I be... He explained the situation and...
[She sighs now, feathers rising and flattening abruptly.]
His actions were rather foolish, yes, but I think he meant well. It was the manner of execution that he failed miserably at... [She grinds her beak lightly, ears flicking back and forward again.] He got himself infected trying to show her he couldn't be and got himself killed because of it. It was exceedingly stupid, but there is nothing to be done now and he walk es his course of actions were not... ideal.
[Feel free to ask for any clarification of details, Varric; she'll be more than happy to share them.]
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