The Breeder: We can breed if we want to..!
CAUTION: Adult themes & sex and swearing ma face off. Maybe nudity? Oh, and bet your bottom dollar there'll be spelling errors.
I'm not happy about those either.
Still following the as-yet-not-so ugly progeny Salus by ZombieJill is reputed to produce. Effort one produced average and sometimes adorable kids, largely awkward teenagers (but not all) and then either average or lovely adults (except for poor Skeletor's Bride, Lila). NOT GOOD ENOUGH! NEED TO SEE FUGLY ACTION! IT'S ADVERTISED, WE WANT OUR MONEY'S WORTH!
Part one of The Breeder ver 2.0 involved our intrepid sperm bank out on the hunt for a prospective uterus. Uterus secured, we moved on to the guts of the experiment: MAKING DA BBS! 2.1 birthed three children, adopted one geriatric feline and we made a stunning revelation about reincarnation..! ITS RIVETING STUFF! And then there was the rollercoaster event that was 2.2 ;_; We got more babies, - both the human and kitten kind, - but we lost a beloved elderly cat. WE LOVE YOU TWEED!
*moments silence*
Brannigan consoles Cotton and Linen after Tweed's death. ;_;
Uh, Brannigan? I think that thats sweet and beautiful, but do you have to do that IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET?! O_O;;; I dont need the three of your carking it all at once. This is 'The Breeder' not 'A Series of Unfortunate Events.' I'm pretty sure that would make you a girl named Violet... OH MY GOD YOUR KIND-OF SISTER IS NAMED VOILET AND ONE OF YOUR SISTERS IS NAMED SUNNY. o_o
What the hell have I done?! O_o;;
I'm pretty sure you guys don't know anyone named Olaf... I think we're safe. *fingers crossed*
CHARMING Brannigan. JUST Charming.
Autumn's all "YAY! My brother is giving Sunny a noogie. *quietly approves*" SO MEAN!
FAVOURITISM!!!!!
Look at Sunny's face, she's CRUSHED! ;_; Poor little lovely. She's got a coal-face and she's a girl. What happened to sibling solidarity, Brannigan? Might be working for you but SHE'S A GIRL. But nuUuUuuuUuu You're all HAI I LOVES ME AUTUMN MORE, WE BOTH HAVE BROWN HAIRS. BAH! XD
So first he plays favourites, and NOW He's being racist against aliens. I'm pretty sure I've NEVER seen any duck-billed aliens before, Brannigan. XD your impression with random antennae doesn't look ANYTHING like the grey you're talking about.
Please to be stopping setting bad examples for your little sisters? XD You might be Sluttin'-Around-God but thats hardly a good reason to be mean to Pollination Technicians. *tsk tsks*
Oooooh shit man. This CANNOT be good. *gulps*
*blinded by headlights*
CARA IS HERE TO STEAL HER SOME BRANNIGAN BOOTY! And she's serious about it. Apparently Brannigan's kissing skills are AMAZING, since the last interaction they had was they shared their first kiss together. Well, okay I guess she doesn't have anything to compare it too. But still..! What 16 year old girl steals a LIMO for a sneak out? That's really REALLY subtle there, girl. Totally covert. You're so going to get away with that. Yeaps.
Look at that face, its resolute! And check it out, DRIVING GLOVES. O_o;; What exactly does she have planned? Lords Brannigan, you can so totally pick em.
I guess enormous black limo with huge amounts of seats is a considerable upgrade to wearing sexy lacy black underwear as far as neon-flashing "I'm Horny!" signs go. Nothing really says "Time to pop ma cherry, honeybear" quite like stealing a limosuine at 3am, on a school night no less...
Kaylynn, its three am. Why are you stil here? O_o;;;
You keep an eye on her, k Linen?
Is she just clutching at the steering wheel and kind of... crying? She's got that squintie 'I'm not gonna cry, honest. Look I'm controlling the ducts' look about her... Woman GO HOME O_O
*frets*
HOLY CRAP! He totally got away with it! Even snuck around the whole house and managed to get inside with no one being the wiser. HOW did you manage that?! All routes to the kid's bedroom go past your parents house. AMAZING NINJA SKILLS MUST BE HEREDITARY!
Linen, I don't think that looks at all appealing... How did the food go from being delicious and amazing-looking on Vanessa's plate, to rancid as it hit the floor? Is there something terrifying and corrosive in the air?
GOOOOOOOOSHY CHEEEKS!!!! *pet pet Amber*
Eeeee! TADAAAAAAH! Child Amber! She's a show-off, has a turkey neck, is kind of masculine looking, but she's got good hair? XD
Ruby is ecstatic, and appears to have a decidedly high-necked victorian taste in sleepwear.
D'Oh..! This is Amber's reaction to some chick Brannigan brought home from school trying to teach her the chest thump gesture. Yeah, I'm down with that too, Amber.
She's gonna grow up and do the gesture to everyone, isn't she? Oh lords.
What is this family's obsession with the Tinkers? Sunny and Autumn brought Harmony Tinker (yes, I played the Tinkers a little bit, sue me XD) home from school with them, and then she proceeded to play with Amber and Ruby till the wee hours of the morning. Guys seriously if its not Wanda, its her offspring...
Brannigan? Noogies are not a turn on. *sigh*
So even the God of Slutulation™ can get it wrong a few times.
Well, okay he didn't really get it very wrong, she was macking with him a few seconds later. Tough love?
What's the matter, baby? Doing primary school-level work too hard for you?
*thwacks him upside the head*
*sighs* So pretty, and yet so stupid. ♥
Vanessa's brains are on fire. Look! She's got smoke coming from the top of her head! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!?!
See? Check that shit out right there! Smoke from the brains. While she's being all Zen and tai-chi-ing even! SMOKING BRAIIIIIINS..!
Her youngest kids are atleast seven... Maybe she's spent too long not pregnant and she's over heated? Being not pregnant is not the natural state of such a pretty Uterus. Whatchoo been doing, Saul? DOUSE THE WIFE, PLEASE!
*smirks and bes five*
I got jack of Kaylynn lurking outside across the street looking creepy and depressed, so I deleted her van.
She turned up almost instantly in the lower-level of the house, soiling herself. Poor thing, can't catch a break. *pets*
Ooooer! Jaquard grows up, into a CLONE OF COTTON. I think the only difference is she has her mother's eyes and only one of her ears is black...
EVERY DAY he goes to school, he comes home with a different chick. Every. Single. Day.
He has a chat with them, flirts a little, brings them downstairs to the make-over chair and ... Well, makes them over. And then they LOVE whatever he's done and then they make OUT with him.
Those romance novels seem to actually be working for him. He's got the "Boy meets insecure, geeky yet beautiful girl, gets her a make-over, she's so elated he gets into her pants" routine RIGHT down. Haven't any of these girls, I dunno, read a crappy romance novel or gone to see a chick flick in their lives before?
Brannigan's an adult. He's a sexy clone of his father and ... Well dayum..! *laughs*
Awww, he still finds time to bond with his little sisters. Check out the painting, he has hates for Brannigan's sexy-times routine. Guess its got to suck, trapped walking down that craggy road forever cursed to watch Brannigan make-teenage-girls-over for fun and sexy profits.
Brannigan moves out to find his own place (and to free up some space in the house so I can have Saul and Vanessa have more kidlets, FINALLY XD) and Celeste moves on in?? ^_^;;
I guess if she can't have the father, the sexy sexy son is definitely not second best.
*dies* Awww little kid gossip is so ridiculously cute.
Ruby: You know Linen?
Amber: Yes?
Ruby: SHE TOTALLY HAS SEX WITH COTTON! LOLLOL
Gossiping about your kittens. I love you guys.
TeenAutumn..! :D Is it just me, or is she kind of... Heading towards skeletonville like Lila did? She's not all pointy and doesn't have DOOM BLACK PANDA EYES but there's something in the distance between her nose and top lip...
Hey hey Teen Sunny! :D *thumbs up back at her* I'm seriously thinking there's something really not right going on about the nose to top lip space ratio with these girls... I mean by NO MEANS is she a hideous swamp beast, but still.. I am a little tiny bit alarmed...
HAI GHOST TWEED! How're things in the afterlife?
GhostTweed: I CAN SEE FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRR
*cowers from his eyeballs*
THERE'S SPACE IN THE HOUSE, BRANNIGAN MOVED OUT, GO GO GO GET PREGNANT AGAIN, KITTENS!
And the girls all race to "See the fireworks." There's nothing even remotely disturbing about this AT ALL...
Check out Sunny, she's all "OH MY! *sniggersnigger*"
TWEED! NUUUU! Leave Amber alone! She loved you while you lived ;_; He's got a major case of "LOOK AT MEE LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE!" Jealous much, old ghost kitty?
How exactly is he scaring her THROUGH Autumn, btw? Thats some mad haunting skills he's honed.
WHOOP WHOOP! :D
YAY! Everyone? Meet Damask. She's a super tiny cutie kitten of lovingly love. Oh, and she has ninja skills.
Sunny? Taking the muffin away would be good? I really don't think you should let Amber eat that...
Level cap means you have to resort to throwing balls of snow at each other? Surely we can do something about this!
Although, SQUEEEEEEEEE!! I love these two constantly spontaneously and autonomously spending quality time with each other. They sort out their own aspirations all the time, without me having to lift a finger!
Ruby inherited Zen from her mother? Ten years old and she knows the tea ceremony like the contours of her own turkey-like neck.
PHEW!! Brannigan's INCREDIBLY RIPPED stomach while he was a teenager was worrying me, I thought the girls would all have ROCK HARD MAN ABS or something when they grew to teens. Thank heavens no. There's definite... Well, definition, but its pretty girly definition.
Things have beeen rejigged..!!! TIME FOR MORE BABY-MAKING COUCH TIME, GO!
*shoots starter pistol*
*smirks*
Autumn grows up. her neck is MUCH less turkeystyle, and though the nose-to-lack-of-top-lip ratio is still quite spaced, she's looking really quite fine..! :D
Are we still completely skeptical about this whole fug babies thing? Or are we still banking on the power of Vanessa/Poppy Uterus being MUGH. TOO. Pretty?
Adult Sunny is INFUSED WITH THE POWER OF TESTOSTERONE!! O_O;;;;; Where the hell did that manface come from?! *hides*
Also, wtf you wearing, Sunny?!?!
Hi Saul. I think its time you and I had a bit of a chat. I think since we've filled pretty Uteruses with your seedie seed a whole lot, that you should 'enjoy' the privelige too.
Just pretend about now you see the crazy full on Alien Abduction Cutscene. K?
See? You totally saw it. :D YES YOU ARE, SAUL! Time to get a taste of your own medicine.
Well HELLO Teen Amber..! :D Thats a mighty long-nose you have there, dear. ALTHOUGH the top lip to nose ratio is much more pleasing. So I'll forgive it big time. She's got a whole lot of bottom lip going on too. Go thank your mother for that, k? :D
Hey TeenRuby! :D Your nose is different to your sisters, but you still have the same pleasing nose-to-lip space.
Lovely, girls! :D :D :D
Aaaaah, Fortune Sims. Her turn offs? Gingers. Her turn ons? Stinky old men!! XD Stinky old RICH men I bet. XD
*cuddles Linen*
Damask, you get the cute tongue-lovings from your mummy :D Damask is all YAY!!!!
So cute <3333
Oh, Amber. You've definitely grown into that underbite you had going on. Looks great now, especially with that face of delight. Bet if you turned that to some old rich fogie he'd foist all his moneys upon you, STAT.
Okay, who is really shit at darts? O_O ALso, who has SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH?!
You can just imagine one of the kids hurling a dart at the wall, having it stick there, and just clearing the hell out of Dodge.
PS: If you needed more proof of Jaquard being a complete and utter Cotton clone, you got it..! I love that shot in the window, actually, Couple with the horse it looks like they're bison about to cross the savannah... XD
Eeee! Saul goes POP!! :D And I got dust. My first ever capture of PinkManDust too! *delight*
CRAPPY SUPER-HUMAN-STRENGTH DART PLAYER IS REVEALED..!
Ruby? Don't ruin the brickwork, k? Also, is that coal-face really incredibly terrifying from this angle?
WHOA o.o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Uh. So. Concealer. And foundation. And some reflective powder. And a lot of blending.
And... A shave. Now.
Vanessa likes taking a turn around the grounds, and so she seems to always be going through pregnancy stages in the garden. XD Awww..!! Yay!! :D :D Dusty poppination! :D
Saul. You're wife's going to go into labour outside in the yard by the cat-house. You're going to experience the same kind of trauma any moment now. You think you could take five seconds out from playing with Cotton to assist her? Huh?
HI DANE!! :D He's got his mum's brown hair genes, but everything else is 100% Dad. Its official. Her Uterus is a coal mine.
Saul ;_; Look at the sacrifice she made for your love.
Well look at that. You learn a new thing EVERY DAY! Heavily pregnant men CAN use the power of teleportation.
Saul: BAMF!
IS IT TIME?! :D Whoa, you think the bamfing brought on the labour pains? Will the baby be okay? I mean aliens are pretty durable, yeah?
Oh... and guess what? I'm LEAVING IT THERE BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
I have four PTs Who's child is he carrying!? What will it look like!? Will his AMAZING COAL MINING GENES over-ride the carefully honed alien strength pollination technique? Or does he just make other women's utereses coal mines, not his own... Baby growing mystery parts?
One installment left..! Will there be dinner? WILL THERE BE DANCING?
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Caution to Dial up Peoples (and those on very crappy adsl1 *pets moonlapse*: about 60 piccies - You're looking at around a 3meg download. Not too much I'll grant you but it could be painful for some.