The horror of the everyday workplace
Stem people are invading all facets of society. WE MUST MAKE THEM STOP! Ultimate Stem Person in my department spotted me as I was attempting to find my staff card to get back into the office. DAMMIT, why am I not more organised with that? Meant I was trapped there while he attempted to impress me with his 'anecdotal stylings'...
SP: "You know how black comedy is rude, right?"
Me: "Um, no, black comedy is humour about death and morbid subjects"
SP: "Oh, is it? oh..."
Me: "Yeah, it is, you know like the Quiet Family is a black comedy cause its about people that go to a hotel and commit suicide"
SP: "Oh, so there's not really a genre called witty comedy, is there?"
Me: "Uh, its just called wit, dude."
SP: "Wit. huh... Okay so all comedians have to be geniuses dont they? To come up with all this stuff on the fly."
Me: "I wouldn't say all comedians are geniuses, you don't have to be a genius to fart, but anyway..." *has found staff card and is desperate to get away*
SP: "Well its true 'All cameras become disposable cameras if you've put them in the bin'"
Me: "Uh, no, it means you've just disposed of the camera, doesn't make it disposable." *brain panicking with 'WTF why would you chuck out a camera, BLASPHEMY!'*
SP: "No, 'All cameras become disposable cameras if you can put them in the bin.'"
Me: *trying to edge towards the door, staff card outstretched*
SP: "Its disposable, they're all disposable cameras. 'All cameras become disposable cameras if you can put them in the bin.' Okay, how about this: 'I drove non-stop through the town of Orange until I hit the town of Red' See? Cause of Orange lights? See? You stop at Red ones?'"
Me: "Yeah...." *swiping card and pulling the door handle for dear life*
SP: "Guess you have to be in the zone to appreciate that..."
As thedogkings so eloquently put it: *HEADDESK*
SP: "You know how black comedy is rude, right?"
Me: "Um, no, black comedy is humour about death and morbid subjects"
SP: "Oh, is it? oh..."
Me: "Yeah, it is, you know like the Quiet Family is a black comedy cause its about people that go to a hotel and commit suicide"
SP: "Oh, so there's not really a genre called witty comedy, is there?"
Me: "Uh, its just called wit, dude."
SP: "Wit. huh... Okay so all comedians have to be geniuses dont they? To come up with all this stuff on the fly."
Me: "I wouldn't say all comedians are geniuses, you don't have to be a genius to fart, but anyway..." *has found staff card and is desperate to get away*
SP: "Well its true 'All cameras become disposable cameras if you've put them in the bin'"
Me: "Uh, no, it means you've just disposed of the camera, doesn't make it disposable." *brain panicking with 'WTF why would you chuck out a camera, BLASPHEMY!'*
SP: "No, 'All cameras become disposable cameras if you can put them in the bin.'"
Me: *trying to edge towards the door, staff card outstretched*
SP: "Its disposable, they're all disposable cameras. 'All cameras become disposable cameras if you can put them in the bin.' Okay, how about this: 'I drove non-stop through the town of Orange until I hit the town of Red' See? Cause of Orange lights? See? You stop at Red ones?'"
Me: "Yeah...." *swiping card and pulling the door handle for dear life*
SP: "Guess you have to be in the zone to appreciate that..."
As thedogkings so eloquently put it: *HEADDESK*