Life!
So, I'm sitting at my parents house(parent) I guess I should say. I'm waiting until it's time to go catch my plane back home. Feeling sick to my stomach at the moment as I am not distracted by anything at this particular time. My mommy died on labour day and this trip up was to go to her funeral. For the most part I have been in what I think is either shock or denial of the fact that my mom is no longer with us, so I have been dealing with it ok. But, when I am in a place like this I am completely nausious and have massive anxiety especially when trying to be strong and supportive for my dad. I have avoided taking my anti-depressants upto now and hope that I can continue to do so. I think I may need something for the anxiety as I already suffer from anxiety on a normal basis. On tuesday(the day of the funeral) I had to take 2 ativan just to function and breathe properly. I really don't like taking pills, but I think that this is a time to make an exception.
I thought that my grandmother's death a couple years ago was hard, but this is by far a lot harder. It has brought my father and I closer and I have been given a lot of respect from him in the past few months. he has actually given me compliments and has realized how much I have going for me. My sister and him were discussing how they are actually envious of how I am and the way I deal with certain things and said that they wish they were more like me. My father has started to agree with some of my ways of thinking and wished he had listened to me before and wishes he had done things the way I would. So, I am greatful for this.... I just wish that it didn't take my mom dying for these things to change.
I am happy and complete on my own, but it is times like these where I wish I had a partner. I wish my dad still did too!
I thought that my grandmother's death a couple years ago was hard, but this is by far a lot harder. It has brought my father and I closer and I have been given a lot of respect from him in the past few months. he has actually given me compliments and has realized how much I have going for me. My sister and him were discussing how they are actually envious of how I am and the way I deal with certain things and said that they wish they were more like me. My father has started to agree with some of my ways of thinking and wished he had listened to me before and wishes he had done things the way I would. So, I am greatful for this.... I just wish that it didn't take my mom dying for these things to change.
I am happy and complete on my own, but it is times like these where I wish I had a partner. I wish my dad still did too!