so far so good
It is January 19th and we made this far. First Christmas after Julia's death was not easy because we had absolutely not christmassy feelings this year. No tree, no gifts .... I take that back, I was only receiving this year, not giving. Best gift was - if all works out - 3 weeks in NJ at my brothers in February. New Year's Eve was depressing, Leif - Julia's friend - came from Berlin and we lit sparklers (never heard that term in English - thanks LEO - anybody know a better term for the German "Wunderkerze" ?) at the grave. It was cold an icy and only a (felt) million candles helped. I think that was about the second worst day of my life. I didn't cry because of Leif but I sure felt like it. (for the unknowing: Julia's birthday is Dec. 31, she would have been 21). Some two weeks of work followed by my fathers birthday (✝ Dec 2006), he would have been 82 on the 13th, and my wife's birthday on the 14th (let us not mention a year). She has been having a hard time the last few days, too many memories .... and possibly the thought of going really far away for 3 weeks. We have already canceled 2 vacations since Julia's death because we could not bear the thought of getting too far from our "nest". I know she feels uncomfortable about this but I am hoping she will come through.
It sounds worse than it is because I am glad we have made it this far. "Every tear shed is a little bit of grief work done" (doesn't translate all too well).
On the up-side: Castle and H5O have restarted. Glee started in Germany. I have almost finished Star Trek: Enterprise (the new series) and since I have to wait longer for LOST GIRL, I guess I just have to watch the first episodes again (there are much worse things in life) ... and I had my hair cut today and the wife declared it a success, what more can you want in trying times.
It sounds worse than it is because I am glad we have made it this far. "Every tear shed is a little bit of grief work done" (doesn't translate all too well).
On the up-side: Castle and H5O have restarted. Glee started in Germany. I have almost finished Star Trek: Enterprise (the new series) and since I have to wait longer for LOST GIRL, I guess I just have to watch the first episodes again (there are much worse things in life) ... and I had my hair cut today and the wife declared it a success, what more can you want in trying times.