(no subject)
im sick of being upset. im sick of hating the way i look, and fluctuating between moderate and upset. i just want to be happy, and feel good about myself again. i dont know what to do, or even what the next step is. i feel like such a tool. i just want a hug...
life is miserable. im afraid of so many things...and angry at so many things. everyone around me seems to be so content, and confident, and growing into their well-thought out lives. i dont even know what i want, or even completely who i am. im scared...im scared of being alone, and never making anything of myself, or never achieving what i want. i have to stop thinking it'll all just fall into place...it wont. i dont want to be lost and unhappy for the rest of my life. he is the only thing that makes me happy anymore, and i dont even want him to see me. i dont want to be like this around him...he deserves better, and doesnt need this stupid shit. im sick of crying every day and wanting so much. im trying so hard to change my "bad attitude"...but im losing confidence in myself, and im my "abilities". i have no talents, no hobbies...im just so scared of the future. i dont want to end up alone. and if i keep this stupid shit up, thats exactly whats going to happen. i need to figure some shit out...
life is miserable. im afraid of so many things...and angry at so many things. everyone around me seems to be so content, and confident, and growing into their well-thought out lives. i dont even know what i want, or even completely who i am. im scared...im scared of being alone, and never making anything of myself, or never achieving what i want. i have to stop thinking it'll all just fall into place...it wont. i dont want to be lost and unhappy for the rest of my life. he is the only thing that makes me happy anymore, and i dont even want him to see me. i dont want to be like this around him...he deserves better, and doesnt need this stupid shit. im sick of crying every day and wanting so much. im trying so hard to change my "bad attitude"...but im losing confidence in myself, and im my "abilities". i have no talents, no hobbies...im just so scared of the future. i dont want to end up alone. and if i keep this stupid shit up, thats exactly whats going to happen. i need to figure some shit out...