(no subject)
So I woke up at about 1 today and played some cards with Nathan. I'm glad I did something, otherwise it would have been another notch in my boring streak thats been going on the past couple weeks. I hate it when my friends don't have money or time, and I hate it when I have no money and too much time. I go in for an application session at Fed-Ex on the 18th. As much as I hate learning the ropes in a new job, I'm very anxious to get started. I need some cash flow in my life. Once I get a car I'm going to need money for gas and isurance of course... and I already have a cell phone bill I won't be able to pay without a weekly check.
I'm waiting for sleep to kick in at the moment. I hate that my schedule is so fucked up. I hate a lot of things right now. Sobriety for instance. I've been pretty clean for the past couple weeks and I'm not enjoying it very much at all. I can't even use pills to take the edge off my anxiety anymore, or relax me enough to sleep before sunrise. Nothing without a perscription. Since I don't have health insurance that encompases everything that isn't over the counter. I have a feeling NyQuil is going to become a friend of mine, along with maybe some cough syrups and the strongest Tylenol I can buy.
Trouble with women. Not like I need to say that though, as it's kind of the norm. When I think I may have something going it gets shot to pieces before it begins. I'm almost to the point of giving up altogether. Some people I know can see every girl as a potential girlfriend. At this point, I hardly even see girls as potential anythings... just other humans that will never be more than casual acquaintences. Like I'm some sort of asexual undatable waste of a person. How's that for a self image.
I'm going to go try and get some cleaning done now to pass the time. Tomorrow will drag on horribly, but starting Thursday I'll at least have something to do. Pool during the day, and then maybe a few hours at Golden Touch. Friday is Reverend Horton Heat in Tulsa. Then the weekend hits, and hopefully my friends will save me from my boring existance with a trip downtown or a flick. We'll wait and see.
I'm waiting for sleep to kick in at the moment. I hate that my schedule is so fucked up. I hate a lot of things right now. Sobriety for instance. I've been pretty clean for the past couple weeks and I'm not enjoying it very much at all. I can't even use pills to take the edge off my anxiety anymore, or relax me enough to sleep before sunrise. Nothing without a perscription. Since I don't have health insurance that encompases everything that isn't over the counter. I have a feeling NyQuil is going to become a friend of mine, along with maybe some cough syrups and the strongest Tylenol I can buy.
Trouble with women. Not like I need to say that though, as it's kind of the norm. When I think I may have something going it gets shot to pieces before it begins. I'm almost to the point of giving up altogether. Some people I know can see every girl as a potential girlfriend. At this point, I hardly even see girls as potential anythings... just other humans that will never be more than casual acquaintences. Like I'm some sort of asexual undatable waste of a person. How's that for a self image.
I'm going to go try and get some cleaning done now to pass the time. Tomorrow will drag on horribly, but starting Thursday I'll at least have something to do. Pool during the day, and then maybe a few hours at Golden Touch. Friday is Reverend Horton Heat in Tulsa. Then the weekend hits, and hopefully my friends will save me from my boring existance with a trip downtown or a flick. We'll wait and see.