i'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale....
brian's engaged.
i don't care who you are or what kind of situation you're in... hearing your ex is getting married is pretty upsetting. in this case i know i can't be the only one who is thinking "ummm what??"
he's 22, she's 22. he's in grad school. she's still in college. they've known each other for about 2.5 years, been going out for 1.5 years with about 8 to 10 small break-ups in between. needless to say, i don't know him anymore and i don't know her or how their relationship is, but i think my assumption is safe to say that it is not a relationship i would want to be in.
everyone who reads this knows my perception of him. obviously i put up with him for a long time so he's not a completely terrible person, but i know how he is. and i know that less than a month and a half ago he was sitting on my bed telling me the situation where they had both cheated and they couldn't be in the same room with each other because of awkwardness. he was in the process of moving back home. he seemed lost, confused, and pretty much unhappy with himself and the situation. if i know the story correctly, he went out and purchased the ring a week after all this. like bouch said, i guess the solution to being unhappy and confused is to get married.
a part of me is obviously sad. he was my first boyfriend, first "love" even though i'm still debating that one, basically he was the first everything. with all the bad came a lot of good and taught me a lot.
the rest of me is really angry. he can't stay faithful, he admits that he can't be alone, he hasn't ever been just single. there's sooooooo much more life to live before marriage needs to come into play. i'm not angry because i think i should be the one he's marrying. he did me a favor with all the ignoring that he does to me. i DO NOT want to be 22 and engaged, especially not to him. ever. i'm angry because the sanctity of marriage means NOTHING to so many. i'm angry that this smart, confident person i once knew turned into such a pussy-whipped asshole when he went to college.
i don't doubt that they love each other, but i really believe he's using marriage as an excuse to never be alone. rational people know that marriage is not just another thing to do. its supposed to be forever. you can't just break-up everytime there is a fight. you can't get hammered and cheat like its nothing. you don't get married just because you have a lease together. does he believe he's gonna be with this girl for at least the next 60 years of his life? highly doubtful.
whatever. i along with 95% of other 22 year old people are going to enjoy life without commitment. maybe i'll consider getting married someday. and i know there's someone out there for me and i'm willing to wait.
i know another couple who got engaged and i'm completely happy with it. they've been together for 8 solid years. they're 23 and 24 i think. its not age that bothers me, its principle.
poor brian mason. now i pity him. have fun being divorced and lonely.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
now on to relevant important things that i really have to deal with...
turns out i HAD hepatitis c. i somewhat lied to most people about it. it is obviously a pretty bad liver disease, but i left out the fact that it is infectious and contagious.
i opted to get the hiv/hepatitis test when i went for a pap smear a few weeks ago. i expected nothing and actually didn't worry. i was more worried about hiv to be honest.
about 4 days later i get the phone call with results. this all happened in the parking lot of work mind you, "most of the tests came back ok, but you tested positive for hepatitis b and c" ummmmm WHAT???? "the only thing we can't tell you is how long you've had it or where it came from" ok i lost you at "you tested postive for hep b and c" i called my mom immediately. i made an appointment with my primary care doctor immediately. the ob gyn and my primary care doc both asked if i had been vaccinated for hep b. i couldn't think. i had no idea. all i knew is that you people told me i have a disease that is practically impossible for me to get from someone else.
anyways, i read all about it. the ob gyn told me about support groups and shit, the doctor and nurses felt pity for me and told me to be more careful. everyone assumed i'm a slut who shoots up and thats how i got it. i honestly have NO.FUCKING.IDEA where this came from. i felt really really judged when i went for more tests. the phlebotomist (who fucked up and made me have to wait a whole extra week) was all like "was it drugs?" i was like no i have no idea where it came from. then she proceeded to yell at me because i was dehydrated (cause i had drank the night before) and no blood would come out. give me a break lady i found out 3 fucking hours ago i have a disease i could fucking die from. the doctor told me this test would tell the truth.
anyways, for the next 2 weeks i went through major ups and downs. i accepted it, accepted the life change of no drinks and possible 50+ weeks of treatments. i knew i didn't get it cause i was careless. i haven't had sex in almost 2 years, i've never been around needle drugs. the most traumatic part was that i could give it to people if i had it. i didn't care that my liver was going to be damaged. that was my personal problem. i was scared to bleed. (you have no idea how much you actually do bleed by the way, brushing teeth and things)
i went back to the docs on friday. he started with hep b. i had gotten the vaccine about 10 years ago, so the hep b antibodies would be in my body and the initial screen test read that. i had no viral load of hep b whatsoever. ok, i knew that. then he got to hep c, which was what i was scared about the most. he said the viral load for hep c came back NEGATIVE. FUCKING NEGATIVE! no viral sign of it in my body whatsoever. so what does negative mean? negative means i no longer have the disease but at one point i HAD it which is why it comes up positive on the screen test. he said i'm one of the 15% of people who gets exposed to it and gets rid of it. there's a 6 month grace period with this disease. its not curable, but if its an acute infection you can get rid of it within 6 months. it gets dangerous when you have it for more than 6 months and it becomes chronic.
its scary to think i had it at all, but now i think i'm immune to it. i don't know when i had it. i hate that. but if i learned anything i learned that you need to live and have fun, but be extremely careful. the world is a dirty place. get tested even if you don't think you need to.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
MANGINA GOT FIRED!! joy to the world :) that fucking asshole couldn't win one fucking game. it SUCKS that the patriots season is over. we were one of the best teams by far for the past month and could have caused damage in the playoffs.
my hat gets tipped to matt cassel and coaching. incredible what they did this season. we're gonna need cassel next year. brady's not gonna be ready and you can't rush his recovery. i don't care how much franchising him is gonna be. do it.
11-5 and no playoff berth... story of my life
i don't care who you are or what kind of situation you're in... hearing your ex is getting married is pretty upsetting. in this case i know i can't be the only one who is thinking "ummm what??"
he's 22, she's 22. he's in grad school. she's still in college. they've known each other for about 2.5 years, been going out for 1.5 years with about 8 to 10 small break-ups in between. needless to say, i don't know him anymore and i don't know her or how their relationship is, but i think my assumption is safe to say that it is not a relationship i would want to be in.
everyone who reads this knows my perception of him. obviously i put up with him for a long time so he's not a completely terrible person, but i know how he is. and i know that less than a month and a half ago he was sitting on my bed telling me the situation where they had both cheated and they couldn't be in the same room with each other because of awkwardness. he was in the process of moving back home. he seemed lost, confused, and pretty much unhappy with himself and the situation. if i know the story correctly, he went out and purchased the ring a week after all this. like bouch said, i guess the solution to being unhappy and confused is to get married.
a part of me is obviously sad. he was my first boyfriend, first "love" even though i'm still debating that one, basically he was the first everything. with all the bad came a lot of good and taught me a lot.
the rest of me is really angry. he can't stay faithful, he admits that he can't be alone, he hasn't ever been just single. there's sooooooo much more life to live before marriage needs to come into play. i'm not angry because i think i should be the one he's marrying. he did me a favor with all the ignoring that he does to me. i DO NOT want to be 22 and engaged, especially not to him. ever. i'm angry because the sanctity of marriage means NOTHING to so many. i'm angry that this smart, confident person i once knew turned into such a pussy-whipped asshole when he went to college.
i don't doubt that they love each other, but i really believe he's using marriage as an excuse to never be alone. rational people know that marriage is not just another thing to do. its supposed to be forever. you can't just break-up everytime there is a fight. you can't get hammered and cheat like its nothing. you don't get married just because you have a lease together. does he believe he's gonna be with this girl for at least the next 60 years of his life? highly doubtful.
whatever. i along with 95% of other 22 year old people are going to enjoy life without commitment. maybe i'll consider getting married someday. and i know there's someone out there for me and i'm willing to wait.
i know another couple who got engaged and i'm completely happy with it. they've been together for 8 solid years. they're 23 and 24 i think. its not age that bothers me, its principle.
poor brian mason. now i pity him. have fun being divorced and lonely.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
now on to relevant important things that i really have to deal with...
turns out i HAD hepatitis c. i somewhat lied to most people about it. it is obviously a pretty bad liver disease, but i left out the fact that it is infectious and contagious.
i opted to get the hiv/hepatitis test when i went for a pap smear a few weeks ago. i expected nothing and actually didn't worry. i was more worried about hiv to be honest.
about 4 days later i get the phone call with results. this all happened in the parking lot of work mind you, "most of the tests came back ok, but you tested positive for hepatitis b and c" ummmmm WHAT???? "the only thing we can't tell you is how long you've had it or where it came from" ok i lost you at "you tested postive for hep b and c" i called my mom immediately. i made an appointment with my primary care doctor immediately. the ob gyn and my primary care doc both asked if i had been vaccinated for hep b. i couldn't think. i had no idea. all i knew is that you people told me i have a disease that is practically impossible for me to get from someone else.
anyways, i read all about it. the ob gyn told me about support groups and shit, the doctor and nurses felt pity for me and told me to be more careful. everyone assumed i'm a slut who shoots up and thats how i got it. i honestly have NO.FUCKING.IDEA where this came from. i felt really really judged when i went for more tests. the phlebotomist (who fucked up and made me have to wait a whole extra week) was all like "was it drugs?" i was like no i have no idea where it came from. then she proceeded to yell at me because i was dehydrated (cause i had drank the night before) and no blood would come out. give me a break lady i found out 3 fucking hours ago i have a disease i could fucking die from. the doctor told me this test would tell the truth.
anyways, for the next 2 weeks i went through major ups and downs. i accepted it, accepted the life change of no drinks and possible 50+ weeks of treatments. i knew i didn't get it cause i was careless. i haven't had sex in almost 2 years, i've never been around needle drugs. the most traumatic part was that i could give it to people if i had it. i didn't care that my liver was going to be damaged. that was my personal problem. i was scared to bleed. (you have no idea how much you actually do bleed by the way, brushing teeth and things)
i went back to the docs on friday. he started with hep b. i had gotten the vaccine about 10 years ago, so the hep b antibodies would be in my body and the initial screen test read that. i had no viral load of hep b whatsoever. ok, i knew that. then he got to hep c, which was what i was scared about the most. he said the viral load for hep c came back NEGATIVE. FUCKING NEGATIVE! no viral sign of it in my body whatsoever. so what does negative mean? negative means i no longer have the disease but at one point i HAD it which is why it comes up positive on the screen test. he said i'm one of the 15% of people who gets exposed to it and gets rid of it. there's a 6 month grace period with this disease. its not curable, but if its an acute infection you can get rid of it within 6 months. it gets dangerous when you have it for more than 6 months and it becomes chronic.
its scary to think i had it at all, but now i think i'm immune to it. i don't know when i had it. i hate that. but if i learned anything i learned that you need to live and have fun, but be extremely careful. the world is a dirty place. get tested even if you don't think you need to.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
MANGINA GOT FIRED!! joy to the world :) that fucking asshole couldn't win one fucking game. it SUCKS that the patriots season is over. we were one of the best teams by far for the past month and could have caused damage in the playoffs.
my hat gets tipped to matt cassel and coaching. incredible what they did this season. we're gonna need cassel next year. brady's not gonna be ready and you can't rush his recovery. i don't care how much franchising him is gonna be. do it.
11-5 and no playoff berth... story of my life