Post 9-11 Post
I did not post on 9-11. Nothing of substance, anyway. I've said all I can say in the past on that matter, and on each anniversary, I only remember the dread. The packing of my bags. The sitting on the back porch under an eerily quiet night sky, drinking coffee, chain smoking, and waiting for the call to report.
And fighting back tears for the civilians who went to work that morning and died in one of the most terrifyingly gruesome manners I can think of to this day. And who chose to leap to their deaths rather than face the flames, knowing the death was waiting either way.
I did not post because I post that same sentiment every year. But paladyn did. Like me, he serves. Unlike me, he's decided that his life is in the AOR now. He's never home because he's almost always there. I was waiting for permission to reproduce what he posted - he spoke for me in his words. I couldn't have put them better myself. So, with his permission, here is my sentiment, my thoughts, my feelings...in his words:
And in the fury of this darkest hour
We will be your light
You've asked me for my sacrifice
And I am Winter born
Without denying, a faith is come
That I have never known
I hear the angels call my name
And I am Winter born
-Cruxshadows, Winterborn
9-11 is something that I just can't put behind me. For in order for there to be healing there needs to be closure. And until the fighting ends, there is no closure. And I don't see an end to the fighting, because its not the moderates who need to come to the table and talk, its extremists and their ideology. Catching or killing Osama Bin Laden is irrelevant, because he's a tangible boogeyman that if we can catch, becomes a physical manifestation of closure. It's bigger than him and its something that people can't wrap their head around until they see the big picture. This is the Forever War and I have become an instrument of that war. This ends either with your shield or on top of it.
ETA: I am blocking comments. If you have not fought in this war, I don't expect you to understand or agree with the sentiment. But it's from my heart (if not my mouth) and I will not have it reduced to argument, as unfortunately happened in paladyn's journal. If you have something non-argumentative to say on this, feel free to message me instead.
And fighting back tears for the civilians who went to work that morning and died in one of the most terrifyingly gruesome manners I can think of to this day. And who chose to leap to their deaths rather than face the flames, knowing the death was waiting either way.
I did not post because I post that same sentiment every year. But paladyn did. Like me, he serves. Unlike me, he's decided that his life is in the AOR now. He's never home because he's almost always there. I was waiting for permission to reproduce what he posted - he spoke for me in his words. I couldn't have put them better myself. So, with his permission, here is my sentiment, my thoughts, my feelings...in his words:
And in the fury of this darkest hour
We will be your light
You've asked me for my sacrifice
And I am Winter born
Without denying, a faith is come
That I have never known
I hear the angels call my name
And I am Winter born
-Cruxshadows, Winterborn
9-11 is something that I just can't put behind me. For in order for there to be healing there needs to be closure. And until the fighting ends, there is no closure. And I don't see an end to the fighting, because its not the moderates who need to come to the table and talk, its extremists and their ideology. Catching or killing Osama Bin Laden is irrelevant, because he's a tangible boogeyman that if we can catch, becomes a physical manifestation of closure. It's bigger than him and its something that people can't wrap their head around until they see the big picture. This is the Forever War and I have become an instrument of that war. This ends either with your shield or on top of it.
ETA: I am blocking comments. If you have not fought in this war, I don't expect you to understand or agree with the sentiment. But it's from my heart (if not my mouth) and I will not have it reduced to argument, as unfortunately happened in paladyn's journal. If you have something non-argumentative to say on this, feel free to message me instead.