(no subject)
So the summer is officially over for me and I can say without any doubts that this was the best summer of my life. I couldn't have done or spent my time any better than I did. I've been in the most beautiful place, around the most beautiful people each of whom I've learned so much from. I don't think I've ever met as many incredible people who've touched my life. Jonah asked if I'd gotten my victory, and I think I did. The last month and a half was a time for me to grow and learn and appreciate everything around me. I hope I used it as much as possible. Wednesday night was so great, even though that day was among the weirdest in Bosch history. So many strange things happened. But the bonfire that night was amazing. And then once all the kids went to bed, it just got better. Emily sang a song about me that was incredible, I am so proud of her. And Jonah made up some songs about me that made me smile, a lot. And Jordan played guitar. And we went fishing, and made real hot chocolate. And I was bursting with happiness that night. And Thursday morning, was it really only yesterday, because it feels like so long ago. Thursday morning I got to have some quality talks with Rachel and Dory and Jonah, and I felt so......I can't even describe it. I'm missing Bosch so badly right now, and I miss everyone so much. I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to go.
I listened to the A Cluster cd on repeat for a long time this afternoon. And we had two old issues of American Baha'i and lo and behold the first one I flipped through had the article about Jonah that made me go to Bosch. I cut it out and plan on keeping it, thank you very much Michael. Today has been so draining. It's been raining all day. I hadn't seen rain in so long. I've felt lost all day. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't watch tv, using the computer is hard enough. I don't have any one to talk to and I'm missing four very special people who mean so much to me. Everything is so different. I've been trying to talk to my mom, mainly because of a conversation I had with Emily, Dory, and Jonah, but she hasn't quite understood what I've been trying to convey. Maybe it's because I feel kinda depressed. I tried explaining why it was so hard for me to be home, and I think she got some of it, but honestly, how can I explain Bosch to her? I feel like I just need to show her through my actions what a positive impact it's had on my life. But I'm still scared that things are going to go back to the way they were before. And I can't have that happen. Rachel and I, and Jonah and I, talked yesterday about how it's difficult to go back home after Bosch, about how things are different, how you're different, and about applying what you've learned to real life. But it all seems so much more difficult now. Now that I am actually at home. I feel so lost. I know it'll get better soon. I think I need to call tonight. Maybe talking to them will help some. Things will get better. But until then, I still have no idea what to do with myself. School....when Jonah and I talked he got me excited about going back to school, not specifically Tech, but school in general. And maybe Dory is right, maybe I should transfer schools, maybe it is something that I need. So school is something that I still don't even want to think about right now. Why is this so hard? I'm going to work on going back for Christmas. And next summer, after Israel and maybe Belize? Wow....I feel so drained and so far away from a few days ago. It's like it was a completely different existence. I wish I could just pick up my family and move out there, just to be closer to those people.
And Dory, you'll be happy to know that I cried during my entire second flight.
I listened to the A Cluster cd on repeat for a long time this afternoon. And we had two old issues of American Baha'i and lo and behold the first one I flipped through had the article about Jonah that made me go to Bosch. I cut it out and plan on keeping it, thank you very much Michael. Today has been so draining. It's been raining all day. I hadn't seen rain in so long. I've felt lost all day. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't watch tv, using the computer is hard enough. I don't have any one to talk to and I'm missing four very special people who mean so much to me. Everything is so different. I've been trying to talk to my mom, mainly because of a conversation I had with Emily, Dory, and Jonah, but she hasn't quite understood what I've been trying to convey. Maybe it's because I feel kinda depressed. I tried explaining why it was so hard for me to be home, and I think she got some of it, but honestly, how can I explain Bosch to her? I feel like I just need to show her through my actions what a positive impact it's had on my life. But I'm still scared that things are going to go back to the way they were before. And I can't have that happen. Rachel and I, and Jonah and I, talked yesterday about how it's difficult to go back home after Bosch, about how things are different, how you're different, and about applying what you've learned to real life. But it all seems so much more difficult now. Now that I am actually at home. I feel so lost. I know it'll get better soon. I think I need to call tonight. Maybe talking to them will help some. Things will get better. But until then, I still have no idea what to do with myself. School....when Jonah and I talked he got me excited about going back to school, not specifically Tech, but school in general. And maybe Dory is right, maybe I should transfer schools, maybe it is something that I need. So school is something that I still don't even want to think about right now. Why is this so hard? I'm going to work on going back for Christmas. And next summer, after Israel and maybe Belize? Wow....I feel so drained and so far away from a few days ago. It's like it was a completely different existence. I wish I could just pick up my family and move out there, just to be closer to those people.
And Dory, you'll be happy to know that I cried during my entire second flight.