Fun with Craigslist
Browsing the furniture listings on Craigslist makes me laugh. Reasons include:
the Typos (goes without saying, really)
the Inclusion of Irrelevant Life Events in Descriptions
"I use to use these lillipad lamps in college, but now that I droped out and moved back home I do not use them N-E-more."
Indiscriminate Use of Design Terms
"Art deco" seems to mean "decorated, with art."
"Art Deco lamp."
Also, "lamp" means "sideways vase," apparently.
"Shabby Chic" is used to refer to any item of undetermined style or in a state of general decrepitude.
"Mid-century Modern" means "I inherited it from my grandma."*
Bargain-store Name-dropping
I can kind of understand why you would say that something is from a good-quality furniture store, but mentioning the item came from Wal-mart does not increase its appeal.
Related: selling items from IKEA or Target for more that it would cost to buy said item new.
the Inclusion of Used-mattress Offerings
That kind of grosses me out anyway (though I suppose if you think about it, everyone sleeps on a used mattress in college dorms), but when they include a picture like this... SHUDDER.*
Over- and mis- use of "beautiful."
"Beautiful lamp with inlaid antique picture."
"Beautiful floral chair."
Wait a minute. Isn't that a mid-century modern art deco Shabby Chic chair?
Weird descriptions.
"Kid's bed, sparingly used."
The Surgeon General says that children should use salt and beds sparingly, you know. So we make our child sleep in the dog's bed on weekdays.
"Custom sofa! (Couch.) Gorgeous! (Beautiful!) Southlake. (Midcities.)"
Said gorgeous custom sofa is beige. Also, thanks for the synonyms. Sounds like someone really took that English teacher's request for elaboration to heart.
"i have got a beautiful head board,bought it abt 2months back at $299.selling it bcoz i am moving.and 2piece chester and side table are also there,they are of good quality wood,very classic, $300"
What is a chester? Also, I didn't realize there was such a large profit margin for furniture-flipping.
"I have this beautiful large white egg lamp. It is about 2 1/2 foot tall and can control the lighting by the knob on the cord. Make me an offer and we can negotiate the price. $45 firm.
Only serious buyers please."
Um... what is an egg lamp? Unfortunately there is no picture, so we'll never know. I suppose it must have some kind of arms and a robotic component since it can control itself with the knob on the cord. (Wait, can there be a knob on a cord?) I am also having trouble imagining what kind of lampshade would go on top of such a lamp.
Also, apparently there are a lot of people in the world who would like to buy an egg lamp, but can't afford it, and their calls apparently waste the time of egg-lamp purveyors--hence the disclaimer.
"Imitation Barcelona Chair, great shape, I have two, but only space for one, you can pick either."
GOLLY. What a dilemma. Which one would we choose?
"Neutral plaid couch in red, green, and white."
Neutral plaid?
AND BEST OF ALL:
Headline: "plastic self"
I was picturing a plastic bust of me--but how did the artist know what I look like? So I clicked.
"garden/garage self plastic,plastic self in good shape, this does not include any thing in or around the self, how ever those objects are for sell as well"
Yippee! I was totally afraid I wouldn't be able to find a plastic 'self,' Shabby Chic jumprope, mid-century modern tarp, and colorful art deco oil funnels all in one day! (What the hell is that on the top 'self' anyway? Maybe it's beautiful.)
Similar fun can be found on Homes for Sale search sites. But that is for another day.
*These are approximations of ads I have seen on Craigslist in the past. I apologize if you were interested in purchasing them.
the Typos (goes without saying, really)
the Inclusion of Irrelevant Life Events in Descriptions
"I use to use these lillipad lamps in college, but now that I droped out and moved back home I do not use them N-E-more."
Indiscriminate Use of Design Terms
"Art deco" seems to mean "decorated, with art."
"Art Deco lamp."
Also, "lamp" means "sideways vase," apparently.
"Shabby Chic" is used to refer to any item of undetermined style or in a state of general decrepitude.
"Mid-century Modern" means "I inherited it from my grandma."*
Bargain-store Name-dropping
I can kind of understand why you would say that something is from a good-quality furniture store, but mentioning the item came from Wal-mart does not increase its appeal.
Related: selling items from IKEA or Target for more that it would cost to buy said item new.
the Inclusion of Used-mattress Offerings
That kind of grosses me out anyway (though I suppose if you think about it, everyone sleeps on a used mattress in college dorms), but when they include a picture like this... SHUDDER.*
Over- and mis- use of "beautiful."
"Beautiful lamp with inlaid antique picture."
"Beautiful floral chair."
Wait a minute. Isn't that a mid-century modern art deco Shabby Chic chair?
Weird descriptions.
"Kid's bed, sparingly used."
The Surgeon General says that children should use salt and beds sparingly, you know. So we make our child sleep in the dog's bed on weekdays.
"Custom sofa! (Couch.) Gorgeous! (Beautiful!) Southlake. (Midcities.)"
Said gorgeous custom sofa is beige. Also, thanks for the synonyms. Sounds like someone really took that English teacher's request for elaboration to heart.
"i have got a beautiful head board,bought it abt 2months back at $299.selling it bcoz i am moving.and 2piece chester and side table are also there,they are of good quality wood,very classic, $300"
What is a chester? Also, I didn't realize there was such a large profit margin for furniture-flipping.
"I have this beautiful large white egg lamp. It is about 2 1/2 foot tall and can control the lighting by the knob on the cord. Make me an offer and we can negotiate the price. $45 firm.
Only serious buyers please."
Um... what is an egg lamp? Unfortunately there is no picture, so we'll never know. I suppose it must have some kind of arms and a robotic component since it can control itself with the knob on the cord. (Wait, can there be a knob on a cord?) I am also having trouble imagining what kind of lampshade would go on top of such a lamp.
Also, apparently there are a lot of people in the world who would like to buy an egg lamp, but can't afford it, and their calls apparently waste the time of egg-lamp purveyors--hence the disclaimer.
"Imitation Barcelona Chair, great shape, I have two, but only space for one, you can pick either."
GOLLY. What a dilemma. Which one would we choose?
"Neutral plaid couch in red, green, and white."
Neutral plaid?
AND BEST OF ALL:
Headline: "plastic self"
I was picturing a plastic bust of me--but how did the artist know what I look like? So I clicked.
"garden/garage self plastic,plastic self in good shape, this does not include any thing in or around the self, how ever those objects are for sell as well"
Yippee! I was totally afraid I wouldn't be able to find a plastic 'self,' Shabby Chic jumprope, mid-century modern tarp, and colorful art deco oil funnels all in one day! (What the hell is that on the top 'self' anyway? Maybe it's beautiful.)
Similar fun can be found on Homes for Sale search sites. But that is for another day.
*These are approximations of ads I have seen on Craigslist in the past. I apologize if you were interested in purchasing them.