My roommates bring home the creepiest boyfriends...
Oh my god. I've met the the creepiest bullshitter ever, and he's Tom's quasi-boyfriend.
Okay. So. I was getting ready to go to bed when I heard this strange laugh in the apt... So I went to investigate, and lo and behold! it's Rev Sato. ...I spent the next four hours bullshitting back to analyze him properly. O_O;
Stringing together everything he claims... he is:
Fun things I discovered last night:
::gag::
It was kind of fun locking horns with him last night, in a sick and twisted kind of way. He's REALLY intelligent... and a hell of a con man. Bad combination. BAAAAD. He uses a lot of little tricks I learned in psychology. He /knows/ how to be charistmatic, smarmy, and so oozing of confidence that even the most ludicrous of statements makes you pause and consider. In terms of speed, he can read people (from a psychological standpoint) better than anyone else I know. Professor Norris, Owen, and myself would be the only others that even come close in terms of reading people we don't know. He can twist more gullible people into limp pretzels.
Which is why the night ended with him /really/ not liking me that much.
I BSed him straight back. After he started going off about wraiths and being able to read people's true selves and thoughts... I couldn't resist. I slipped into a mask of a cocky, perky, saccharinely cheerful little intellectual, sweet-tempered know-it-all. That wouldn't let him dominate the body language duels. Yeah. Try to stare me down. Try to pass it off as "coming naturally because I'm too focused on keeping my energy from overwhelming" me. I'll match you right back and smile sweetly while dutifully going, "wow, REALLY? Neat." at all your bragging. Yeah. You know I'm patronizing you. You know I'm baiting you to try and make you mess up again. You know I'm /on/ to how you're doing all this, how you're trying to rope Tom in hook, line, and sinker. I know you do, because you read people that well, and we know the /same/ psychologically manipulative techniques. Bet I'm giving you a headache, huh? Empathize this, damnit.
...I'm usually never, ever this aggressive except against guys trying to pick me up. Dear god.
This wouldn't be so bad except for Tom. Tom, at times, can be /very/ easily manipulated. /I/ can do it without even meaning to half the time. I know that if I want to, I could manipulate people /very/ easily... what I lack in practice and have too much of in morals, I have a very innocent and trustworthy face. Sato's the opposite... but goddamn, is he good at pure manipulatory skills. Which is why, I believe, he dislikes me so much after getting to know me... He /knows/ I can see through that. As soon as he found out I have years of cognitive psychology and studies in empathy and listening skills, he got just /slightly/ more edgy, and started asking a lot of strange, very probing questions at just how advanced I had gotten that weren't exactly pleasant for either of us --- and this was when we just met.
The problem is that he /does/ have his brilliant moments. Undeniably, he IS very intelligent - broad if spotty knowledge base. He has to be to carry off what he does. But he also boasts of a LOT, egomaniac that he is, so it's hard to see what's bluff and what isn't.
Ah. This wouldn't matter at all, actually, if it weren't for Tom..
Tom, Tom, Tom. What can I do without putting my business where it shouldn't go, without hurting you? I'm happy you seem happy now, BUT DAMNIT YOU HAVE THE SCARIEST BOYFRIEND. o_O; Despite all the intellectual dueling with him the other night, Sato really does /scare/ me on some deep, instinctual level. I fumbled over trying to articulate it earlier, trying to find the word... It was the feeling I had when I finally went to bed last night and they were still here... I refused to go to sleep, because I was /convinced/ that if I did go to sleep, there would be... well...
That I would wake up and Sato would be standing there staring at me again, or worse. And when I analyzed myself pretty harshly to see if I was just being silly or projecting... well. The conviction, given what I know of Sato, is rather justified. That's just the kind of person I sense him as being. My instincts about human character in this manner have yet to be wrong..
As Jess finally articulated for me.... Sato's a low-level evil.
Really, that just explains everything about him so much more simply and clearly than this entire post just did.
Okay. So. I was getting ready to go to bed when I heard this strange laugh in the apt... So I went to investigate, and lo and behold! it's Rev Sato. ...I spent the next four hours bullshitting back to analyze him properly. O_O;
Stringing together everything he claims... he is:
- a "reverend" wiccan priest
- professional Tarot/Runes card reader
- psychic, who can talk to cats and sees wraiths and ghosts (all over our apt). My cat is autistic and a mathmatical genius trying to discover pi, by the way.
- "true empath" -- he feels every person's true hidden emotions (everyone around him at any time)
- And he feels the pain of everyone around him, before they even feel it -- "Imagine what going to the hospital is like."
- Oh, but the past he senses from you is twisted by your perspective on it and what you project. But at the same time he sees those repressed memories you aren't even aware of, too.
- A master swordsman who wields a 400lb claymore and bested his swordsman uncle when he was 1 year old. Oh yeah. And he took 4 toes and a leg off one guy who was pointing a gun at him once. From 10ft away. Without a scratch or the gun even being fired.
- Fluent in 15 languages (which he will not name), including twelve dialects of Japanese (note: his fav anime is apparently Excel Saga)
- An unparalelled hacker who once hacked the CIA and had 3 muscle-bound agents crashing into his room 15min later, and the only reason they didn't put him in indentured service was because he bribed them off by giving good head.
- Has performed sex magic on a girl who was a childhood friend in order to keep her from dying of AIDS -- and reversed the disease completely.
- Is a vampire (he DOES have scary canines. I know - he bit me) who can suck liquid through his canines, and an orthadontist once broke all his drill bits on his teeth trying to file him down.
- Has committed suicide by taking a bottle of codine-laced tylenol, drinking a gallon of Draino, slitting his wrists, and hanging himself. All at once. He came back, folks. (NOOOOOO!)
- Heals like a youkai. Looking at his (unscarred) feet, "You wouldn't believe from looking at that that I impaled myself on nails just last night, would you?" ...Um, actually... Yeah. I don't believe you did. >_>
- Can look at a person and from their "aura" see all their nutritional and health deficiencies. Funny... he didn't say a word about my heart arythmia...
- He's also an expert on nutrition and eating healthy. So admirable. (He's obese, btw)
- He's got a degree in psychology. (And LO! HIS TECHNIQUE IS EXPLAINED! .... I mean...)
Fun things I discovered last night:
- His comment on Wendy's (female) cat last night: "Now, see, he's really mad at Saema (Akuma's "real" name) right now, because he's in the window taking a message from the wraith right now." Funny. He went kind of silent when I cheerily commented, "Oh! That makes sense. Inu's in heat." Yeah. Kind of burst him talking-with-cats-and-knowing-their-real-thoughts bubble.
- I have a vit C deficiency and don't eat enough protein. Wow. And when I asked him how many grams of protein he thought I should eat in a day, he floundered and said that counting grams really aren't that important - I should eat at least two carrots (CARROTS?)... And when I mentioned I usually eat at least two cans of tuna a day and thus get a /minimum/ of 60 grams a day (/hell/ of a lot), he said tuna is "wrong for my metabolism".
- (Oh, and I apparently have "thoughts" when on the toilet. Shhhhh, I'm too ashamed to talk about them...) ... ::coughbullshitcough::
- He's apparently too polite to comment on how I babble stupid mistakes and nonsense in my Japanese after originally speaking it flawlessly! What a sweet bakajin.
- I should perform sex magic with my boyfriend. Because, ya know, if done right it will help me get my degree faster. Yeah. Oh, and he offered to TEACH ME HOW. Isn't that sweet? ::smilesmileteethgrindsmile::
- He can sense the thoughts of EVERYONE around him and he CAN'T turn it off... Awww. I guess he was having a headache from that last night. Poor thing. I mean... he didn't even know Wendy was home after being there for two hours.
- Oh. And apparently I was lied to about my European mutt heritage -- I have Polynesian blood. According to him. After he "tasted it". Afer not even breaking my skin. Yeah.
::gag::
It was kind of fun locking horns with him last night, in a sick and twisted kind of way. He's REALLY intelligent... and a hell of a con man. Bad combination. BAAAAD. He uses a lot of little tricks I learned in psychology. He /knows/ how to be charistmatic, smarmy, and so oozing of confidence that even the most ludicrous of statements makes you pause and consider. In terms of speed, he can read people (from a psychological standpoint) better than anyone else I know. Professor Norris, Owen, and myself would be the only others that even come close in terms of reading people we don't know. He can twist more gullible people into limp pretzels.
Which is why the night ended with him /really/ not liking me that much.
I BSed him straight back. After he started going off about wraiths and being able to read people's true selves and thoughts... I couldn't resist. I slipped into a mask of a cocky, perky, saccharinely cheerful little intellectual, sweet-tempered know-it-all. That wouldn't let him dominate the body language duels. Yeah. Try to stare me down. Try to pass it off as "coming naturally because I'm too focused on keeping my energy from overwhelming" me. I'll match you right back and smile sweetly while dutifully going, "wow, REALLY? Neat." at all your bragging. Yeah. You know I'm patronizing you. You know I'm baiting you to try and make you mess up again. You know I'm /on/ to how you're doing all this, how you're trying to rope Tom in hook, line, and sinker. I know you do, because you read people that well, and we know the /same/ psychologically manipulative techniques. Bet I'm giving you a headache, huh? Empathize this, damnit.
...I'm usually never, ever this aggressive except against guys trying to pick me up. Dear god.
This wouldn't be so bad except for Tom. Tom, at times, can be /very/ easily manipulated. /I/ can do it without even meaning to half the time. I know that if I want to, I could manipulate people /very/ easily... what I lack in practice and have too much of in morals, I have a very innocent and trustworthy face. Sato's the opposite... but goddamn, is he good at pure manipulatory skills. Which is why, I believe, he dislikes me so much after getting to know me... He /knows/ I can see through that. As soon as he found out I have years of cognitive psychology and studies in empathy and listening skills, he got just /slightly/ more edgy, and started asking a lot of strange, very probing questions at just how advanced I had gotten that weren't exactly pleasant for either of us --- and this was when we just met.
The problem is that he /does/ have his brilliant moments. Undeniably, he IS very intelligent - broad if spotty knowledge base. He has to be to carry off what he does. But he also boasts of a LOT, egomaniac that he is, so it's hard to see what's bluff and what isn't.
Ah. This wouldn't matter at all, actually, if it weren't for Tom..
Tom, Tom, Tom. What can I do without putting my business where it shouldn't go, without hurting you? I'm happy you seem happy now, BUT DAMNIT YOU HAVE THE SCARIEST BOYFRIEND. o_O; Despite all the intellectual dueling with him the other night, Sato really does /scare/ me on some deep, instinctual level. I fumbled over trying to articulate it earlier, trying to find the word... It was the feeling I had when I finally went to bed last night and they were still here... I refused to go to sleep, because I was /convinced/ that if I did go to sleep, there would be... well...
That I would wake up and Sato would be standing there staring at me again, or worse. And when I analyzed myself pretty harshly to see if I was just being silly or projecting... well. The conviction, given what I know of Sato, is rather justified. That's just the kind of person I sense him as being. My instincts about human character in this manner have yet to be wrong..
As Jess finally articulated for me.... Sato's a low-level evil.
Really, that just explains everything about him so much more simply and clearly than this entire post just did.