Objectives to follow to help me grow
The following entry will be a set of objectives I will follow to help me become a better me, to help boost my self-esteem, self-confidence etc. I will be making 2 sets of objectives, the first will be to better me personally and the second, criteria needed to gain healthy relationships.
Ways to better me:
1) Practice Basic Self-Care
Get enough sleep, eat in a healthy fashion, get regular exercise, practice good hygiene, and so forth.
2) Plan Fun & Relaxing Things For Myself
go to a movie, take a nap, get a massage, hang out with friends, compose music, learn to meditate-whatever I enjoy.
3) Reward Myself For My Accomplishments
take the night off to celebrate good grades or achievements, spend time with a friend, or compliment myself for making that hard phone call, hard decisions etc.
4) Remind Myself of My Strengths & Achievements
One way is for me to list things I like about myself. Or keep a 'success' file of awards, certificates and positive letters or citations. Keep momentos of accomplishments I am proud of where I can see them.
5) Forgive Myself When I Don't Do All I'd Hoped
Self-nurturing can be surprisingly hard if you are not used to doing it. I shouldn't be so critical of myself-remember my inner voice!-when I don't do it just right. We all make mistakes, use them to learn from.
6) Self-Nurture Even When I Don't Feel I Deserve It
"Fake it" until you can "make it." If I treat myself like I deserve to feel good, slowly I'll come to believe it.
7) Ask for Support from Friends
* Ask friends to tell me what they like about me or think I do well.
* Ask someone who cares about me to just listen to me "vent" for a little while without trying to "fix" things.
* Ask for a hug.
* Ask someone who loves me to remind me that they do.
If I stick to these, I shall be a better Brandon in no time, and only then can I have a relationship with someone.
First I must admit the things that I do that are wrong when in search of a relationship, I do these things and yet the correct way is the complete opposite of what I do.
Things I do wrong:
1)I look on the outside for someone or something to fill a void within.
2)I always seem to be on the lookout for a relationship.
3)I feel a high when I first get into a relationship. My relationships develop too fast.
4)I feel like love has a power over me. I feel like I have to stay on my toes to keep a relationship.
5)I do not communicate the way I feel.
6)There seems to be a lot of high energy in the relationship, like fighting or breaking up and getting back together again, in other words, too much drama!
The correct approach...
1) Allowing love in itself to be complete by being comfortable with my life and myself.
2) Allowing relationships a chance to grow and develop naturally.
3) Allowing relationships to grow at their own speed. I should have them smolder like embers rather than flame high and burn out quickly.
4) To feel we each have individual strengths and weaknesses in different areas. Ideally, being able to compliment each other.
5) Knowing the relationship feels safe, gentle and comfortable. Do not hurl angry statements, or have dramas in the relationship.
6) Communication, be honest, open, and trusting.
7) It gets easier to be together and share your lives the more we get to know each other. Find new things out about each other, as we both grow and mature.
These will not be difficult to reach once I get "me" back on the right path. So as of now, I am not looking for any realtionships. The only way I would be in a relationship is by it happening naturally and not by the "want" to have one just because. They must happen by itself. The key is time, allow time for it to develop, not get a relationship and then let it develop, it must develop first.
Ways to better me:
1) Practice Basic Self-Care
Get enough sleep, eat in a healthy fashion, get regular exercise, practice good hygiene, and so forth.
2) Plan Fun & Relaxing Things For Myself
go to a movie, take a nap, get a massage, hang out with friends, compose music, learn to meditate-whatever I enjoy.
3) Reward Myself For My Accomplishments
take the night off to celebrate good grades or achievements, spend time with a friend, or compliment myself for making that hard phone call, hard decisions etc.
4) Remind Myself of My Strengths & Achievements
One way is for me to list things I like about myself. Or keep a 'success' file of awards, certificates and positive letters or citations. Keep momentos of accomplishments I am proud of where I can see them.
5) Forgive Myself When I Don't Do All I'd Hoped
Self-nurturing can be surprisingly hard if you are not used to doing it. I shouldn't be so critical of myself-remember my inner voice!-when I don't do it just right. We all make mistakes, use them to learn from.
6) Self-Nurture Even When I Don't Feel I Deserve It
"Fake it" until you can "make it." If I treat myself like I deserve to feel good, slowly I'll come to believe it.
7) Ask for Support from Friends
* Ask friends to tell me what they like about me or think I do well.
* Ask someone who cares about me to just listen to me "vent" for a little while without trying to "fix" things.
* Ask for a hug.
* Ask someone who loves me to remind me that they do.
If I stick to these, I shall be a better Brandon in no time, and only then can I have a relationship with someone.
First I must admit the things that I do that are wrong when in search of a relationship, I do these things and yet the correct way is the complete opposite of what I do.
Things I do wrong:
1)I look on the outside for someone or something to fill a void within.
2)I always seem to be on the lookout for a relationship.
3)I feel a high when I first get into a relationship. My relationships develop too fast.
4)I feel like love has a power over me. I feel like I have to stay on my toes to keep a relationship.
5)I do not communicate the way I feel.
6)There seems to be a lot of high energy in the relationship, like fighting or breaking up and getting back together again, in other words, too much drama!
The correct approach...
1) Allowing love in itself to be complete by being comfortable with my life and myself.
2) Allowing relationships a chance to grow and develop naturally.
3) Allowing relationships to grow at their own speed. I should have them smolder like embers rather than flame high and burn out quickly.
4) To feel we each have individual strengths and weaknesses in different areas. Ideally, being able to compliment each other.
5) Knowing the relationship feels safe, gentle and comfortable. Do not hurl angry statements, or have dramas in the relationship.
6) Communication, be honest, open, and trusting.
7) It gets easier to be together and share your lives the more we get to know each other. Find new things out about each other, as we both grow and mature.
These will not be difficult to reach once I get "me" back on the right path. So as of now, I am not looking for any realtionships. The only way I would be in a relationship is by it happening naturally and not by the "want" to have one just because. They must happen by itself. The key is time, allow time for it to develop, not get a relationship and then let it develop, it must develop first.