The distant sound of a vacuum
I have begun to believe that the fall semester is for things being hectic and going wrong. I know I have not blogged for a while, but I haven't really had the time nor the motivation to do so. Right now however, I am sitting in the theatre department so that I can house manage later. There was really no point in going home. I'm not sure what to do right now emotionally... sigh, cry, laugh, or what? What can describe the feeling of going from feeling like your dad was no longer sick, to the sickness starting all over again? Here I am, 6 months from graduation from college, and I'm terrified. I was already worried about what I was going to do after school got out, but now what? What if I have to take next semester off? I don't want to, but what if my dad is that sick. I love my Dad, I don't want anything to happen to him, but it is out of control. The only thing that keeps running through my mind is that humans have a 100% mortality rate, like we keep saying in my medical ethics class. I don't know if this fact makes me feel better or worse. Mortality comes up a lot in the fall. Funny how that works, the plants die, leaves die, the trees hibernate til warmth comes again, and we prepare for the cold... but why does preparing for the cold have to do with emotions as well, at least for me? I really didn't want to have to deal with this again, at least until I was done with school. School takes so much out of you, I'm not sure I can do this all at once again, especially since the reoccurring factor is even harder. I feel like the world around me is going to become a vacuum. I hear it too, the distant sound of a vacuum.