Futures scream

[boidheach]

Confusion prevails. Life moves on, and sometimes too fast. This is the end of the sixth week of this semester. It seems like Chirstmas break was a couple weeks ago, not six. And it feels like RMTA was only a week ago, not two. Why does time seem to move more quickly as you grow older. Is this because suddenly we are bogged down by too many things to do, as we often are? Or is it because our life gets longer and a day seems like less in the scheme of things. I have always assumed that it was the latter. However, I'm starting to wonder, because in cultures where money doesn't matter, a day is a day, it's just a cycle of when the sun goes up and goes down. So do they have the same perception of time going faster as they age, as we do? As time goes "faster" the more scared I become. I always do this, but when the end of a chapter in my life comes near, I get more afraid of the next chapter, while most people are excited. Yes, many people fear change in their lives, but it excites most of them as well. We're looking at grad schools in senior sem and suddenly I realized, really realized, that I am going to need to leave my home. I have lived here my whole life, yes I adjusted when I moved out of my parents house, and I did fine. But as much as that step scared me, I don't think I'd be able to leave town without support. I would need someone I already know and love to come with me. Okay, even just someone who is a friend to start off a friend base with (as social as I can be, I am extremely shy, and the effort it would take for me to find a completely new friend base would be exhausting). I know I still have a full year in college here, but I'm starting to not enjoy it. It's becoming more stressful than it is worth. I almost wish I had just been a theatre major, even if that did mean I would have actually graduated this year. I almost wish I was one of those people that had to have change, even if it was just moving my furnature constantly, then I wouldn't be completely opposed to moving somewhere else, even if it was just to Denver.

And I leave you now... with the song that is stuck in my head... darn you Emily's phone: "Follow the yellow brick road... follow the yellow brick road..."