My response:snufflezheadFebruary 10 2007, 05:42:19 UTC
I want to say you lost me, only in spite of you. I want you to apologize, because it's always about you. I don't want to apologize because, although I may be sorry that we are no longer as close as we once were, you were in the wrong as well. You knew I was in a bad mood, and I realize I shouldn't have taken it out on you. But other people have bad days too, they don't want to hear about another's bad day. You expect me to like Dylan, yet you never give me a reason to. You complain about him, and I don't understand how you can want me to like someone who treats you badly. Alex, I love you. You've always been there for me, and I want to be there for you. But I don't think I can be, I don't think I can just be the listener. Dylan's hurt you too much for me to just let it slide, so I'm sorry, but I won't let you talk to me about him, that's just how it's going to have to be if we are to remain friends. Because honestly, I didn't care, and I maybe I still don't. But I feel like you're too important to lose, that I shouldn't give up hope. But ever since you've come out, you've changed. There are some things that I can't stand about you, and there are some things I'm sure you can't stand about me. But you act as if you're better than me, I can never be better than you. That's how you treat me. As if I'm some stupid little girl. There's one thing I have, and that's confidence, confidence that I'll make it, that my relationships will all work out. That I'll graduate and have a successful life and live a happy fulfilling life. I hate drama, so I avoid it. You seem to suck it in. I can't help it, you need to know how I feel. You told me you were lucky that we weren't so close, because that way I don't know you. So I'll repeat myself: fuck off. If you think you're better than me, if you think that you have issues, so does everyone else. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. THere's my fucking apology!!! Alex, I can't make this better...I just can't because you will ALWAYS hold it against me, no matter what. You can have Dylan, your asshole of a bestfriend. You ditched me for him anyway, just cus he's gay and cus you can shop together. Well you know what, I don't care. Because he will always be an asshole, always. He will never change. Never. And I hope that one day you realize that. You let people walk all over you and I protect you. Because I love and care about you and there's nothing that I can seem to do, and because of that, i don't know what to do. It hurts. It hurts because I don't know if I can be your friend. And I'm not sure if that's ok with me. I'm not sure how to go about this. I hope you figure things out. With or without me. Good luck. ~love ya forever, Savannah
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