my very unpopular review of FF7 Advent Children
Ok. First of all, I DO NOT appreciate flames. I HAVE been a long standing fan of the game but my appreciation of good film making will also not be blinded by the spirit of fandom. I am reviewing this movie as a FILM. And there will be spoilers. You have been warned.
This film is essentially a 90 minute music video. I actually get the feeling that they just took each track from the OST and made a scene off of that.The plot is extremely basic and they deliver it to you in such a fractured manner that it is difficult to remember what the plot is midway through. Actually, by midway I just gave up on trying to hold my attention to the plot; my mind was instead dumbed down by the superfluous motorcycle chase scenes and sword fights. I think a third of all the action sequences in this movie were on the motorcycle as well. and I think this movie is comprised of 90% action. So what is the "plot"?
The planet has been saved, but now two years later Cloud is moping around wondering if it was the right thing to do and still feels guilty about Aeris (dood. Aeris sacrificed herself in the game so that you COULD save the world and GROW as a character. but now he's reverted back to super angst-boy again.). A bunch of kids and Cloud himself are suffering from this thing called "Geostigma" apparently jenova cells got washed up in the life stream and since everyone has a personal lifestream within them, some kids got sick from it and there is supposedly "no cure." (This is purely contrived for the sake of making things seem really bad and just another ploy to get Cloud moodier than "usual.") Then there are 3 silver haired men who are trying to revive Jenova and "take their revenge against the world." (Wait a minute, that's like...trying to stop the crazy Sephiroth ideal all over again!) The movie's plot is essentially a spin-off of everything in the game. And Aeris' role is probably the most important even though it is extremely trite.
So if one were to extract the measly plot elements you would get around a 5 minute commercial advertising this: Aeris is God. It doesn't matter if Cloud is getting shot in his vitals (which he does), getting blown up (which again he does), being moody (which he flaunts every half second), pimping up his collection of exotic swords (the movie can also be dubbed "Cloud's arsenal fashion show"), or spinning around on his motorcycle inhumanly (Although he could win all those bmx sports contests hands down), Aeris will always swell up into a mass of holy water and save him. That is essentially what happens. How? Why? Well, what do you mean why? There apparently doesn't have to be a why as long as its pretty. An "essential turning point" in the movie is where Kadaj blows a huge hole in the church and that is when the lifestream floods the cavity and chases Kadaj away. It shoots up like a geyser and then rains down on Cloud and Aeris' voice says "let's go Cloud". And it heals his geostigma. At this point, my reaction is "wtf!?!?!" I felt kind of cheated. The movie just took the short cut to explain how Geostigma is treated. In my head I'm wondering if she could do that all along, why didn't she do it earlier??? Then the devil's advocate in my head said "there wouldn't be any action nor a movie if she did now would there?" The whole thing with the Geostigma did not contribute to the motives of any of the characters. It seemed like the 3 silver-haired men wanted to gather everyone with Geostigma and attempt "Reunion" in order to revive Jenova. But then....they didn't. Kadaj just ran off with a box that supposedly contains Jenova's head. while an elaborate chase scene ensues.
My next "wtf!!??!" moment was when Kadaj transforms into Sephiroth. yes, they bring him back for what is meant to be the climatic battle of the entire movie. They don't really bother to explain how or why Kadaj can become Sephiroth except that Vincent just plugs in "Kadaj is the spirit of Sephiroth. He's like a larva." But wait a minute, how does vincent know that? How is that possible? Sephiroth was born from Lucrecia's womb with injected Jenova cells in him, where does Kadaj fit in in this past? He doesn't and they don't shed light on it, so we never know. But I bet Squenix was thinking "who cares? Sephiroth's back and hotter than ever!" (watch the fangirls melt). It was also kind of funny how Kadaj transforms into Sephiroth. It was almost Sailor-moon-esque. Kadaj flings himself in midair, shoves the chunk of Jenova into his chest as a dark aura envelops him. Cloud comes down and tries to slash him but as Cloud strikes, a FLASH! and there blocking cloud is Sephiroth with LOOOONG HAIR (now YOU can get his hot looks too with Sephiroth's new instant-shiny-growth formula!) and with green shining colors, his Masamune blade forms in his hand. But my god his voice is sexy (damn him!). So now the movie has fallen into the trap that sequels always do and that is essentially "reviving the bad-guy to bring on more action completely devoid of plot and is supremely cheap." You'd think that this would be an amazing fight scene at least, and I thought it was pretty cool. Sephiroth was in control the entire time. He kept on slamming Cloud effortlessly and taunting him with such a superior air. So you'd think that Cloud would say something really cool and memorable and build up to the climax........ well. Cloud gets really drained from fighting and he staggers and Sephiroth takes that chance to bitchslap him into a wall, and STAB HIM. But...he stabs him in the shoulder even when Cloud was wide open to be skewered like a pork. He stabs him in the shoulder and asks him, "what is most important to you? would you give me the happiness of taking it away?" *Flashes of Aeris and tifa and zack and the kids go through Cloud's mind* and out of nowhere, his strength returns and he takes out the sword in him and pushes Sephiroth back. Okay, people who have played the game will now say, "HEY! that's almost EXACTLY what happened in the game!" PRECISELY. And then Cloud omnislashes him in midair (the graphics to that was pretty cool). And that's that. Sephiroth goes bye bye but not before growing an angel wing and fading away with a million black feathers. He's such a drama queen.
Then Aeris' holy water rains down on the city and all the kids get healed of Geostigma. OUt of nowhere and disentegrating Yazoo shoots Cloud (OOO drama!) and we think he's going to die as he fades into a blank screen unconscious. But then Aeris's hand touches his forehead and we hear her voice and Zack's voice. And they "send him back" because its "not his place." Anyone else reminded of Gandalf the white? But this just further proves that the only consistent theme in this movie is that Aeris is God.
So to sum it up...It was a really nice looking music video.
My personal opinion is that they should have just made a movie based ON the game. That way it not only appeals to fans, it will also extend to those who haven't played the game. Those that haven't played the game and watch this movie will be very very lost. AND that way they would have had an original plot without cheapening the game's value.
Oh and btw...Rufus is back. The secret's revealed, Diamond weapon kills by giving people facials.
Now everyone probably thinks I'm an anal bitch and have destroyed their utmost favorite movie and I deserve to be shot...
BUT I did like some parts of the movie!
The goods:
-The main reason to watch the movie is for Reno and Rude. They're hilarious and their characters' interaction worked very cohesively. Twas very amusing.
-I loved seeing all the side characters (cid, yuffie, vincent, etc.) make an appearance although it was far too short and non-essential to the plot at all, sadly.
- The ending scene was very nice.
- I'm now more of a SephirothxCloud fan than ever XD quote from movie, Sephiroth to Cloud:"Kneel, Show me your figure, begging for forgiveness."
- Sephiroth is SEXY
- most of the fight scenes WERE enjoyable.
-Reno and Rude
-Reno and Rude
-Reno and Rude DOOD!!
and that's that.
This film is essentially a 90 minute music video. I actually get the feeling that they just took each track from the OST and made a scene off of that.The plot is extremely basic and they deliver it to you in such a fractured manner that it is difficult to remember what the plot is midway through. Actually, by midway I just gave up on trying to hold my attention to the plot; my mind was instead dumbed down by the superfluous motorcycle chase scenes and sword fights. I think a third of all the action sequences in this movie were on the motorcycle as well. and I think this movie is comprised of 90% action. So what is the "plot"?
The planet has been saved, but now two years later Cloud is moping around wondering if it was the right thing to do and still feels guilty about Aeris (dood. Aeris sacrificed herself in the game so that you COULD save the world and GROW as a character. but now he's reverted back to super angst-boy again.). A bunch of kids and Cloud himself are suffering from this thing called "Geostigma" apparently jenova cells got washed up in the life stream and since everyone has a personal lifestream within them, some kids got sick from it and there is supposedly "no cure." (This is purely contrived for the sake of making things seem really bad and just another ploy to get Cloud moodier than "usual.") Then there are 3 silver haired men who are trying to revive Jenova and "take their revenge against the world." (Wait a minute, that's like...trying to stop the crazy Sephiroth ideal all over again!) The movie's plot is essentially a spin-off of everything in the game. And Aeris' role is probably the most important even though it is extremely trite.
So if one were to extract the measly plot elements you would get around a 5 minute commercial advertising this: Aeris is God. It doesn't matter if Cloud is getting shot in his vitals (which he does), getting blown up (which again he does), being moody (which he flaunts every half second), pimping up his collection of exotic swords (the movie can also be dubbed "Cloud's arsenal fashion show"), or spinning around on his motorcycle inhumanly (Although he could win all those bmx sports contests hands down), Aeris will always swell up into a mass of holy water and save him. That is essentially what happens. How? Why? Well, what do you mean why? There apparently doesn't have to be a why as long as its pretty. An "essential turning point" in the movie is where Kadaj blows a huge hole in the church and that is when the lifestream floods the cavity and chases Kadaj away. It shoots up like a geyser and then rains down on Cloud and Aeris' voice says "let's go Cloud". And it heals his geostigma. At this point, my reaction is "wtf!?!?!" I felt kind of cheated. The movie just took the short cut to explain how Geostigma is treated. In my head I'm wondering if she could do that all along, why didn't she do it earlier??? Then the devil's advocate in my head said "there wouldn't be any action nor a movie if she did now would there?" The whole thing with the Geostigma did not contribute to the motives of any of the characters. It seemed like the 3 silver-haired men wanted to gather everyone with Geostigma and attempt "Reunion" in order to revive Jenova. But then....they didn't. Kadaj just ran off with a box that supposedly contains Jenova's head. while an elaborate chase scene ensues.
My next "wtf!!??!" moment was when Kadaj transforms into Sephiroth. yes, they bring him back for what is meant to be the climatic battle of the entire movie. They don't really bother to explain how or why Kadaj can become Sephiroth except that Vincent just plugs in "Kadaj is the spirit of Sephiroth. He's like a larva." But wait a minute, how does vincent know that? How is that possible? Sephiroth was born from Lucrecia's womb with injected Jenova cells in him, where does Kadaj fit in in this past? He doesn't and they don't shed light on it, so we never know. But I bet Squenix was thinking "who cares? Sephiroth's back and hotter than ever!" (watch the fangirls melt). It was also kind of funny how Kadaj transforms into Sephiroth. It was almost Sailor-moon-esque. Kadaj flings himself in midair, shoves the chunk of Jenova into his chest as a dark aura envelops him. Cloud comes down and tries to slash him but as Cloud strikes, a FLASH! and there blocking cloud is Sephiroth with LOOOONG HAIR (now YOU can get his hot looks too with Sephiroth's new instant-shiny-growth formula!) and with green shining colors, his Masamune blade forms in his hand. But my god his voice is sexy (damn him!). So now the movie has fallen into the trap that sequels always do and that is essentially "reviving the bad-guy to bring on more action completely devoid of plot and is supremely cheap." You'd think that this would be an amazing fight scene at least, and I thought it was pretty cool. Sephiroth was in control the entire time. He kept on slamming Cloud effortlessly and taunting him with such a superior air. So you'd think that Cloud would say something really cool and memorable and build up to the climax........ well. Cloud gets really drained from fighting and he staggers and Sephiroth takes that chance to bitchslap him into a wall, and STAB HIM. But...he stabs him in the shoulder even when Cloud was wide open to be skewered like a pork. He stabs him in the shoulder and asks him, "what is most important to you? would you give me the happiness of taking it away?" *Flashes of Aeris and tifa and zack and the kids go through Cloud's mind* and out of nowhere, his strength returns and he takes out the sword in him and pushes Sephiroth back. Okay, people who have played the game will now say, "HEY! that's almost EXACTLY what happened in the game!" PRECISELY. And then Cloud omnislashes him in midair (the graphics to that was pretty cool). And that's that. Sephiroth goes bye bye but not before growing an angel wing and fading away with a million black feathers. He's such a drama queen.
Then Aeris' holy water rains down on the city and all the kids get healed of Geostigma. OUt of nowhere and disentegrating Yazoo shoots Cloud (OOO drama!) and we think he's going to die as he fades into a blank screen unconscious. But then Aeris's hand touches his forehead and we hear her voice and Zack's voice. And they "send him back" because its "not his place." Anyone else reminded of Gandalf the white? But this just further proves that the only consistent theme in this movie is that Aeris is God.
So to sum it up...It was a really nice looking music video.
My personal opinion is that they should have just made a movie based ON the game. That way it not only appeals to fans, it will also extend to those who haven't played the game. Those that haven't played the game and watch this movie will be very very lost. AND that way they would have had an original plot without cheapening the game's value.
Oh and btw...Rufus is back. The secret's revealed, Diamond weapon kills by giving people facials.
Now everyone probably thinks I'm an anal bitch and have destroyed their utmost favorite movie and I deserve to be shot...
BUT I did like some parts of the movie!
The goods:
-The main reason to watch the movie is for Reno and Rude. They're hilarious and their characters' interaction worked very cohesively. Twas very amusing.
-I loved seeing all the side characters (cid, yuffie, vincent, etc.) make an appearance although it was far too short and non-essential to the plot at all, sadly.
- The ending scene was very nice.
- I'm now more of a SephirothxCloud fan than ever XD quote from movie, Sephiroth to Cloud:"Kneel, Show me your figure, begging for forgiveness."
- Sephiroth is SEXY
- most of the fight scenes WERE enjoyable.
-Reno and Rude
-Reno and Rude
-Reno and Rude DOOD!!
and that's that.