felt like it was an ordinary day...
its nearly 3 in the morning and i dont know what is possessing me to stay up this late each night. i think its the thought tucked away in the back of my mind that i can sleep in the next day, which is not going to last for very long.
which brings me to some serious pondering...have you ever felt like you have just met your soulmate? its interesting, most people think of soulmates as being lovers, but i see it as mainly friendship. its weird how sometimes you feel it, a spark, but youre not sure if its really what you think it is. and how sometimes, just knowing doesnt make any sense at all...but you could just be over-reacting or overthinking the situation, like a consistent "oh wow, so do i" or "me too!" can probably confuse you, make you a bit too distant from reality or whats actually going on...i wonder if the allege soulmate actually thinks about this. i wonder if the soulmate can appreciate your weird conversations or phrases, or if they will just throw it away, like its nothing and concentrate on the deeper meanings behind your words...maybe, maybe not. but if you are soulmates, meeting by chance, or an event that just happen to come out of nowhere, how do you prove whats really there? or explain the fate of the situation? is it something that happens just because? or does it take years for it to develop until you finally know? or is it simply the actions of one person who sincerely believes? which leads me to more questions, is it all what it seems? does it really take two people to realize that theyre soulmates, or just one? hmm, by chance, at the grocery store, at the train station, even at school, can two people who are genuinely meant for each other, romantically or not, be united by chance?
*edit*
i feel really strange right now. i want to say that its just the summer's heat, but i think its just me. i hate hot weather and i hate cold weather too, so i guess chicago is the worst place to live, meh whatever. and it doesnt help that our "family trips" are always to really hot places or really cold (alaska anyone?). just weird. families are weird, where did this whole concept originate? i guess it makes perfect sense...someone mates with another person, the produce offspring and hence, they are all connected, but thats soo weird. i mean, is that another thing that separates us from the animals? the fact that we have a "family system"? but so do other animals in a way...and we as humans, mostly treat others better than our own families, what do you think of that? so many thoughts, so many questions this year that would make me seem silly, but can you really answer it? if its so silly, then its implied that its easy to answer, but no one has given me an answer, so i guess its not so silly after all...i wonder why people do things, why do they apologize for stuff they didnt do? why do they kill each other or deliberately keep people down? now, i dont understand the whole story or full concept of why we are the way we are, but what possessed people to believe that they are superior to others? like the royal family in england, what made them believe that they are higher than the rest of us? how did it all start? how did monarchy start? i think its because humans need a leader, a follower, communism and collectivism dont work because people are incapable of ruling themselves, so i guess thats how the whole superiority (is that a real word?) thing started, pretty strange eh?
so i feel like vomitting now, pretty gross. the year has been something else, so me being nervous and somewhat paranoid of what was going to happen wasnt uncommon. i remember grade school and how it was just so much easier. i grew up with those kids, i knew them for almost 10 years of my life, so walking into school every morning wasnt a big deal, fuck i didnt care what they thought, mostly because i knew what they thought about me. i was so different then, a lot more care-free, PUNK RAWK (HAHA) and just laid back. gee, whatta year! hmm, i think everyone cares about what people think of them, just a little..what an interesting world we live in.
*this is a (773-547-1402)sublimital message.
which brings me to some serious pondering...have you ever felt like you have just met your soulmate? its interesting, most people think of soulmates as being lovers, but i see it as mainly friendship. its weird how sometimes you feel it, a spark, but youre not sure if its really what you think it is. and how sometimes, just knowing doesnt make any sense at all...but you could just be over-reacting or overthinking the situation, like a consistent "oh wow, so do i" or "me too!" can probably confuse you, make you a bit too distant from reality or whats actually going on...i wonder if the allege soulmate actually thinks about this. i wonder if the soulmate can appreciate your weird conversations or phrases, or if they will just throw it away, like its nothing and concentrate on the deeper meanings behind your words...maybe, maybe not. but if you are soulmates, meeting by chance, or an event that just happen to come out of nowhere, how do you prove whats really there? or explain the fate of the situation? is it something that happens just because? or does it take years for it to develop until you finally know? or is it simply the actions of one person who sincerely believes? which leads me to more questions, is it all what it seems? does it really take two people to realize that theyre soulmates, or just one? hmm, by chance, at the grocery store, at the train station, even at school, can two people who are genuinely meant for each other, romantically or not, be united by chance?
*edit*
i feel really strange right now. i want to say that its just the summer's heat, but i think its just me. i hate hot weather and i hate cold weather too, so i guess chicago is the worst place to live, meh whatever. and it doesnt help that our "family trips" are always to really hot places or really cold (alaska anyone?). just weird. families are weird, where did this whole concept originate? i guess it makes perfect sense...someone mates with another person, the produce offspring and hence, they are all connected, but thats soo weird. i mean, is that another thing that separates us from the animals? the fact that we have a "family system"? but so do other animals in a way...and we as humans, mostly treat others better than our own families, what do you think of that? so many thoughts, so many questions this year that would make me seem silly, but can you really answer it? if its so silly, then its implied that its easy to answer, but no one has given me an answer, so i guess its not so silly after all...i wonder why people do things, why do they apologize for stuff they didnt do? why do they kill each other or deliberately keep people down? now, i dont understand the whole story or full concept of why we are the way we are, but what possessed people to believe that they are superior to others? like the royal family in england, what made them believe that they are higher than the rest of us? how did it all start? how did monarchy start? i think its because humans need a leader, a follower, communism and collectivism dont work because people are incapable of ruling themselves, so i guess thats how the whole superiority (is that a real word?) thing started, pretty strange eh?
so i feel like vomitting now, pretty gross. the year has been something else, so me being nervous and somewhat paranoid of what was going to happen wasnt uncommon. i remember grade school and how it was just so much easier. i grew up with those kids, i knew them for almost 10 years of my life, so walking into school every morning wasnt a big deal, fuck i didnt care what they thought, mostly because i knew what they thought about me. i was so different then, a lot more care-free, PUNK RAWK (HAHA) and just laid back. gee, whatta year! hmm, i think everyone cares about what people think of them, just a little..what an interesting world we live in.
*this is a (773-547-1402)sublimital message.