Entry spamming...
I know it's a little ridiculous, writing in this thing so often. But I just need to put it out somewhere and know that it's there, not just in my head.
"AUGH! I feel like I'm running and moving and doing all these great things - but when i stop and look around, im in the same god damn place as i was yesterday, last week, last year, last decade...and thats what kills the most."
That is a quote, from me, written on my Dead Journal on January 22nd, 2003.
Five and a half years ago.
What happened to that girl? I read that post, and I feel exactly the same way. But the righteous frustration is gone. I am resigned. I read it, and found comfort in feeling the same way, how fucking sick is that? It's also kind of ironic I guess. What happened to that girl, where did she go? Where did that fire under my ass go? I mean I'm in South Korea so there's still some fire left but come on. I'm just so apathetic now.
Going back and reading my Dead Journal was probably a bad idea. So that means I'll just do it more and dwell. Because I am a dweller.
"Death is no big deal because life is just...blah blah blah. Look, Silas, life is just blah blah blah.
You hope for blah,
and sometimes you find it.
But mostly it's blah and waiting for blah.
And hoping you were right about the blahs you made.
And then just when you think
you have the whole blah damn thing figured out,
and your'e surrounded by the ones you blah,
death shows up and...
blah blah blah."
- El Andy The Book of Weeds Chapter 4 Verse 7.
"AUGH! I feel like I'm running and moving and doing all these great things - but when i stop and look around, im in the same god damn place as i was yesterday, last week, last year, last decade...and thats what kills the most."
That is a quote, from me, written on my Dead Journal on January 22nd, 2003.
Five and a half years ago.
What happened to that girl? I read that post, and I feel exactly the same way. But the righteous frustration is gone. I am resigned. I read it, and found comfort in feeling the same way, how fucking sick is that? It's also kind of ironic I guess. What happened to that girl, where did she go? Where did that fire under my ass go? I mean I'm in South Korea so there's still some fire left but come on. I'm just so apathetic now.
Going back and reading my Dead Journal was probably a bad idea. So that means I'll just do it more and dwell. Because I am a dweller.
"Death is no big deal because life is just...blah blah blah. Look, Silas, life is just blah blah blah.
You hope for blah,
and sometimes you find it.
But mostly it's blah and waiting for blah.
And hoping you were right about the blahs you made.
And then just when you think
you have the whole blah damn thing figured out,
and your'e surrounded by the ones you blah,
death shows up and...
blah blah blah."
- El Andy The Book of Weeds Chapter 4 Verse 7.