lit; to the scientist who i am not speaking to anymore
don't say you didn't see this coming Jason
don't say you didn't realize that this would be my reaction
and you never intended for me to get so worked up
because if that were true, you'd be dumber than Lenny from Mice
and then blinder than Oedipus and Tiresias put together
or feel less than a Dalton Trumbo character
you put the "Dick" in Dickons,
the "Boo" in -kowski
the more cowardly than Noble
but you don't understand any of these references do you Jason?
because you. don't. read.
you're a geology major and you once told me
that scientists don't read popular literature
that they have more important things to do
well fuck you!
be glad you don't read Jason
because maybe you won't understand this
as i scream this to you on your front lawn
on christmas day
brandishing three hypodermic needles,
a ginsu knife
and a letter of permission from Brett Easton Ellis
Jason, you are more absurd than [ian exco?]
more abstract than Joyce
more inconsistant than Agatha Christie
and more satanic that Rushdie's Verses
i can't believe i used to want to [---] you Jason
i used to want to Pablo Neruda you
to [---] and Henry Miller you
i used to want to be O for you
to blow for you in ways even Odysius's sail's couldn't handle
but self imposed illiteracy isn't a turn on
you used to make fun of me for wanting to be a writer
saying that "scientists cure diseases, but really
what do writers do?"
but of course you wouldn't understand that would you Jason?
i mean have you ever got an inner thirstin for some Zora Neil Hurston
have you ever had the angels hearald for you to read F Scott Fitzgerald
have you ever had a beat attack for some Kerourac
the only Morrison you know is Jim and you think you're the noble one?
go Plaqe yourself
your heart is so dark that even Joseph Conrad couldn't see it
and it's so burried under bullshit that even [---] couldn't hear it
your mind is as empty as the libraries in Fahrenheit 451
your mind is as empty as [---]
your mind is as empty as Huckleberry Finn's wallet
and some people might say this poem is a pretentious exercise
to see how many literary references i could come up with
and some people might complain that this poem in it's core is really shallow
expressing the same emotion again and again and again
i mean how many times can you articulate your contempt for Jason, Cristin, before the audience starts to get a little bored?
but you know what Jason?
those people would be wrong
because this is not the poem that i am writing to express my hatred for you
this is the poem i am writing because we aren't speaking
and it is making my heart hurt so bad
that sometimes i can't make it up off the floor
and this is the poem that i am writing instead of writing
the "I miss having breakfast with you" poem
instead of writing the "Let's walk dogs in our old schoolyard again" poem
instead of the "How're you" poem
instead of the "I miss you" poem
instead of the "I wish I was making fun of how much you liked our books while sitting in your jeep infront of your parent's house" poem
instead of the "Holiday season is coming around again you know what that means: SUICIDE" poem
i am writing this poem because i wanna stop wanting to write the i could fall in love with you again so quicky if only you would say one more fucking word to me again poem
but i am tired of loving you Jason
because you obviously don't know how to love me right
if some pretentious ass poem can stop me from thinking about the way your laugh sounds
about the way your skin feels
and the way i'd rather be miserable with you than happy with anyone else in this world
if some pretentious ass poem can do all that
then i am Gone With The Wind
i am Flying Over The fucking Coo-coo's Nest
i am On The Road
i am gone, i am gone, i am gone,
i am.
(cristin o'keefe aptowicz)
don't say you didn't realize that this would be my reaction
and you never intended for me to get so worked up
because if that were true, you'd be dumber than Lenny from Mice
and then blinder than Oedipus and Tiresias put together
or feel less than a Dalton Trumbo character
you put the "Dick" in Dickons,
the "Boo" in -kowski
the more cowardly than Noble
but you don't understand any of these references do you Jason?
because you. don't. read.
you're a geology major and you once told me
that scientists don't read popular literature
that they have more important things to do
well fuck you!
be glad you don't read Jason
because maybe you won't understand this
as i scream this to you on your front lawn
on christmas day
brandishing three hypodermic needles,
a ginsu knife
and a letter of permission from Brett Easton Ellis
Jason, you are more absurd than [ian exco?]
more abstract than Joyce
more inconsistant than Agatha Christie
and more satanic that Rushdie's Verses
i can't believe i used to want to [---] you Jason
i used to want to Pablo Neruda you
to [---] and Henry Miller you
i used to want to be O for you
to blow for you in ways even Odysius's sail's couldn't handle
but self imposed illiteracy isn't a turn on
you used to make fun of me for wanting to be a writer
saying that "scientists cure diseases, but really
what do writers do?"
but of course you wouldn't understand that would you Jason?
i mean have you ever got an inner thirstin for some Zora Neil Hurston
have you ever had the angels hearald for you to read F Scott Fitzgerald
have you ever had a beat attack for some Kerourac
the only Morrison you know is Jim and you think you're the noble one?
go Plaqe yourself
your heart is so dark that even Joseph Conrad couldn't see it
and it's so burried under bullshit that even [---] couldn't hear it
your mind is as empty as the libraries in Fahrenheit 451
your mind is as empty as [---]
your mind is as empty as Huckleberry Finn's wallet
and some people might say this poem is a pretentious exercise
to see how many literary references i could come up with
and some people might complain that this poem in it's core is really shallow
expressing the same emotion again and again and again
i mean how many times can you articulate your contempt for Jason, Cristin, before the audience starts to get a little bored?
but you know what Jason?
those people would be wrong
because this is not the poem that i am writing to express my hatred for you
this is the poem i am writing because we aren't speaking
and it is making my heart hurt so bad
that sometimes i can't make it up off the floor
and this is the poem that i am writing instead of writing
the "I miss having breakfast with you" poem
instead of writing the "Let's walk dogs in our old schoolyard again" poem
instead of the "How're you" poem
instead of the "I miss you" poem
instead of the "I wish I was making fun of how much you liked our books while sitting in your jeep infront of your parent's house" poem
instead of the "Holiday season is coming around again you know what that means: SUICIDE" poem
i am writing this poem because i wanna stop wanting to write the i could fall in love with you again so quicky if only you would say one more fucking word to me again poem
but i am tired of loving you Jason
because you obviously don't know how to love me right
if some pretentious ass poem can stop me from thinking about the way your laugh sounds
about the way your skin feels
and the way i'd rather be miserable with you than happy with anyone else in this world
if some pretentious ass poem can do all that
then i am Gone With The Wind
i am Flying Over The fucking Coo-coo's Nest
i am On The Road
i am gone, i am gone, i am gone,
i am.
(cristin o'keefe aptowicz)