It's that time again!
Title: Lay Here
Author: Jocelyn Brant
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Spoilers: Crow’s Feet
Summary: Ending continued for “Crow’s Feet”… We last saw Catherine staring at herself in the mirror…
A/N: I got the idea from the song “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol, and I just watched “Crow’s Feet” last night, and the connection made itself! My first fanfic for this pairing (I’m a bit of a Sara/Sofia lover, I won’t lie!), so keep that in mind. Also un-beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.
***
If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me,
And just forget the world?
- “Chasing Cars” Snow Patrol
***
The window was open, and the curtain flapped against the wall inside the bedroom, allowing the dry desert heat to swirl in. The heat could have been the cause of the sweat beading between her shoulder blades, as she lies on her stomach, her head turned to the window, sleeping soundly, but I knew better.
The sheet gathered by her hips, and her smooth skin had a slight sheen to it, the by-product of the impromptu activities that had transpired that day. I dared myself to reach out, gather the small beads of sweat on my finger tips, but even with what had happened this morning, I didn’t chance it.
She had looked stolen, like the light in her eyes had actually been snatched from the beautiful blue, leaving the color hollow and haunted. She didn’t say a word, at first, just stood in my doorway, unsure of herself seemingly for the first time. To be honest, it scared me a bit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her without the air of confidence that generally surrounds her. I opened my door wider to her, and she slipped inside, and as the door clicked shut, I was pushed against the oak, her lips finding mine unerringly.
To say I was surprised would have been a supreme understatement. I had never been the kind of person that people threw against walls, doors, or lockers and kissed. I was awkward, detached, and I think people felt that I would never invite such contact. But this woman, this woman I couldn’t turn away, even if I wanted to.
Her tongue sought refuge in the depths of my mouth, begging entrance at the seal of my lips, and I granted without a thought. Her tongue slid against my own, and my hands came up to gently clasp her neck. My thumbs caressed the smooth expanse of her throat, and even though her urgency was apparent, I took my time, lazily kissing her. My eyes, which had slipped closed the moment her lips touched mine, opened slowly, and watched her need play across her furrowed brow, her own eyes tightly shut.
I pulled back from the kiss, and brought my lips down to her beautiful throat, nipping and licking gently at the flesh they found there. She sighed heavily, releasing a deep breath I think neither of us realized she had been holding, and her hands came up to hold my head to her neck. I had never tasted anything as sweet and addictive, as the flesh of Catherine Willows, and I couldn’t drag my mouth away.
After several moments, she pulled my head back and took hold of my mouth again. With our lips still tightly sewn to each others, I navigated us through my apartment, and down the hall, to my bedroom, my fingers pushing her jacket off, and reaching for the hem of her salmon colored tank top, as we went.
Standing at the entrance to my bedroom, I was suddenly hit with question of want. Did she want this? Did she want me? There would be no turning back from this event, should we take it, and I needed to know before I pulled her further into my domain. Any other time the groan of defiance emitted, from the moment our lips parted from each others, would have been enough to know, but I needed full confirmation. My eyes sought out hers, and waited for them to open.
The sparkle and life that had returned to her beautiful eyes was exactly what I needed to see. The simple act of kissing had returned some of the glow to her eyes, and I was humbled to know that this strong, powerful woman found something here, with me, kissing me and letting me love her.
She pushed me through the door, letting me know with no uncertain terms that this was the next logical step. My hands returned to the hem of her top, pushing it up past her chest, her neck, and over her head. The smooth skin of her stomach revealed, and my fingers danced along the hardened flatness of her belly, delighting in the small twitches the act produced. Her own fingers nimbly worked the buttons of my pajama top, and pushed the sides off my shoulders, the garment pooling behind me at my feet.
Her head bent, to monitor her fingers, as they found the drawstring of my pajama pants. Her delicate concentration was curtained behind the fall of her hair, and my fingers twirled the golden locks, wrapping the silky strands around my long digits. Finally releasing the drawstring from its knot, her head came up, and the smile on her lips was pleased and proud. Leaning forward, she caught my lips in another kiss, while fitting her thumbs between the waist of my pants and my hips, pushing the bottoms to my feet.
I stepped out of the entanglement of my pants, and my hands moved to her hips, finding the button and zipper of her jeans, and releasing them, pushing her own pants to the floor.
Her fingers danced along my sides, up to the underside of my now exposed breasts, but I wasn’t going to be deterred from my task. Both of us in our underwear, and still too clothed.
She giggled softly into our kiss, when my fingers tried to release the hooks of her bra, and was having a difficult time doing so. I pulled away from the kiss, to focus my energy more fully on the task. Her head ducked to bite at my collar bone, and I gasped audibly. Her tongue soothed away the little hurt, and a sigh slipped past my lips this time.
Finally her bra lost the battle with my fingers, and my hands came up to the straps to slide the garment off her shoulders. It was a sweet victory, especially when my fingers got to traverse the silky length of her arms. So delicate, and smooth was the soft flesh of the skin there, and I kissed her left shoulder in gratitude.
She tilted her head to the side, exposing her neck to my happy mouth. I kissed my way up the side of her neck, across her jaw line, over her cheeks and closed eye lids, and finally settled onto her lips. Our kiss was gentle and delicate, but no less passionate then those that had come before. We parted, me taking a step back, and our eyes roved over each others’ bodies. I bit my lip, unable to understand how someone so beautiful and enchanting had come to stand nearly nude in front of me.
“You’re so…” my voice trailed off, and I could see, by the sudden stop of her rising chest, that she was holding her breath. “I can’t, I mean… you’re gorgeous.”
I guess what I had said was exactly what she had needed to hear, because I suddenly found myself pushed towards the bed, and I fell back against the tousled sheets a bit indelicately, and she followed, a predatory look in her now lively eyes. I crawled backwards up to the pillows at the head of the bed, delighting in the fact that this delicious huntress followed me, crawling over me, her hair falling around our faces, now curtaining us inside this moment.
When she kissed me this time, there was a different, sweeter taste to her mouth. I couldn’t figure it out, at first, and it wasn’t until comparison made, I determined it was the taste of her confidence. It sounds weird to my ears, too, but I could swear the kiss was sweetened by her renewed sense of self-worth. Whatever had caused her to lose that was now on my death list.
My hands made their way to the underside of her breasts, and my thumbs rubbed delicately alongside, a moan escaping from deep in her throat, when the tips of my thumbs made contact with her nipples. I teased them into harder peaks, and then slid the flats of my hands down her back.
Holding her self up with one hand, her other hand came between us, her nails scraping down my torso to the waist band of my underwear. The tips of her fingers slid easily past the barrier of my underwear, teasing at the top of my pubic mound. I unconsciously thrust my hips up, trying in vain to make a stronger contact where I needed it, but her hand stayed where it was. I groaned in protest, and felt the smile of triumph she was wearing, in our kiss.
She pulled away, moving to kiss my neck, my hips twitched, and she smiled into my flesh.
“Sara, you’re so responsive,” she mumbled into my throat.
“Can you blame me?” I groaned out. She laughed outright then, and I knew at that moment, that if nothing came of this, that laughter would haunt my dreams, awake and asleep, for the rest of my life. She sat up, resting her weight on her knees, and laying her bottom on my shins. I looked up, and she wasn’t looking me in the eyes, but rather gazing in awe and wonder at my body.
I can’t say that I’ve inspired that look too much, if ever, in another person before, but if this was the only time, I’d consider whatever beauty I possessed to be justified. She made me feel like a goddess, and to my credit, I didn’t feel like I deserved the praise. Her hands glided gently over my sides, running along my ribs, and the flat of my stomach. My breath hitched at the contact, and her hands answered my unspoken plea by rising to the hardened peaks at the tips of my breast. She circled and flicked my nipples with her thumbs, and smiled happily when my chest thrust up to meet the contact more firmly.
This seemed all too unfair to me. This woman came to me, and I was the one getting all the fun. I suddenly grasped her hips tightly, surprising her, and lifted her easily, to slide her beneath me. She cocked an eyebrow at me, as though to say, “Touché.” I just smiled, tight lipped, and returned the act she had just performed, entranced by the hitch of her breath, and then the quick rise and fall of her chest. When her chest thrust up, my arm slid underneath her back, holding her in place. I bent to her breast, my tongue snaking out to lick the slightly salty skin of her areola. She whimpered, and I knew that I must be doing something right. My mouth kept up the sweet assault for a moment longer, until I heard the desperate plea fall from her lips.
“Sara… ugh, please!”
I released my hold of her, and she fell to the bed limply. I shimmied down her body, my fingers hooking into the sides of her underwear, and pulling them with me as I went. I stood at the end of the bed, pulled her underwear off her feet, and threw it somewhere behind me. Her eyelids were heavy, but she battled to keep them open, to watch me. I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing, but before I knew it, I was kneeling on the floor. I grabbed hold of her hips, and pulled her easily to the edge of the bed. Her sex in front of my eyes, and the musky aroma wafted to my nose; I had never smelled anything better.
I had never done anything like this before, so I can’t say that I was going to be amazing at it, but I wanted to rock her. I wanted to do everything right for her. I had fallen so hard for her from the first shift we worked together, our conversation stilted, but civil. Working together over the years had evolved my affections for her, and I had dreamed of this moment quite nearly every day since. If I don’t lie to myself, I’d admit that I was dreaming of this moment, only minutes before the urgent knock on the door that had started this whole thing in motion.
She had risen up to lean back against her elbows. Her eyes watched me, and maybe she saw the petrified expression on my eyes, because she was suddenly trying to pull back, trying to move back to the headboard, I guess to move away and flea. But I held tightly onto her hips, stopping her struggles for the moment. My eyes looked up, meeting her eyes from behind my eye lashes. Her breathing was shallow, but she looked like she was struggling to find equilibrium in her lungs.
I took no more time, and bent my head to kiss between her spread legs. The taste was slightly bitter, but not at all unpleasant, and my tongue lapped slowly at the swollen lips of her labia. She moaned loudly, the sound rumbling up from her chest, and echoing slightly off the walls of my bedroom. I loved her taste, and couldn’t get enough of it. My hands loosened their grip on her hips, and slid them to wrap around her firm thighs, succeeding in spreading her legs a bit wider.
My name came out of her mouth like a mantra. The chant of a woman who prayed at the alter of this moment. I needed to live up to this, to make her feel like the goddess she made me feel like. I wrapped my lips around the bundle of nerves at the top of her sex, and sucked so slightly, but the response was immediate and forceful. Her hips thrust up to meet my ministrations and one of my hands came between her legs, to thrust to fingers shallowly inside her. She cried out, and I nearly came from the sound, but I was determined to see this through.
My fingers thrust further inside her, slowly opening her up, and keeping a slow and steady pace inside her, and her hips thrust against my mouth, matching the pace set by my fingers. I kept gently sucking on her clit, and it wasn’t long before she was crying out again, as her orgasm shook through her entire body. Her inner walls quaked, pulling my fingers inside deeper, and my lips kissed the soft skin of the inside of her thigh. “So beautiful,” I whispered into her skin, “So beautiful.”
She collapsed onto the bed, and I climbed up on to the mattress, scooping her up, and pulling her back to the headboard. She was boneless and sated, and I felt like the greatest lover that had ever existed. She nuzzled into my neck, dragging her tongue along the path her nose was making in my throat.
Sated maybe, but not done, apparently. She turned to lie on her side, propping herself up with her hand, and leaned over me to kiss along my jaw line. Our lips crashed together, and my desperation for release returned full force, having been thrown onto the back burner in place of Catherine’s own need.
She didn’t play games this time, but moved her fingers back to their former location, inside my underwear. This time her fingers didn’t pause just past the waist band of my briefs, but instead moved further inside. She thrust a single finger inside me, and I cried out this time, welcoming the intrusion. Keeping up a steady, deep pace, she added a second finger to her act, and the slight sting of my walls opening was blocked out by the intense pleasure I was being consumed by. Her thumb rubbed firmly against my clit, and I was whimpering and panting in tandem, undignified in my responses, and not caring in the slightest. She kissed my neck and collar bone, as her hand kept up the deep thrusting between my legs.
“Baby, let go,” she whispered, and then it hit me.
It was literally like a tidal wave crashing into the shores, and I got swept up in the current. She quickened her pace between my legs, riding out the storm of my orgasm, and when I fell deeply into the bed, she stilled her fingers inside of me.
“Just like that,” she chuckled. She kissed me in a delicate duel of tongues, and it was lazy in its intensity, but the passion that existed from the beginning was infinitely more empowering.
I loved her, and whatever brought her here this morning, whatever transpired to make her seek solace in my arms and my bed, I will do whatever I can to rectify it, and make her understand that she deserved this contentment, this euphoric feeling all the time. The light in her eyes would never disappear again, if I had anything to say about it.
She pulled out of me, slowly, and the hard knuckles of her two fingers made my inner muscles twitch. I groaned in disappointment; I wished she could just stay inside me forever or me inside her, because that, to me, was where perfection was defined. Then again, her light stroking of my stomach with her slightly damp fingers was a little bit of perfect, too.
We gathered ourselves under my covers, and curled into each other, our lips meeting in small chaste kisses between us. I wanted nothing more than to be suspended in this moment, but exhaustion settled in, and sleep came far too quickly.
Waking up to the image of this gorgeous woman, her hair in a mess about the pillow below her head, lying on her stomach, her hands underneath her pillow, with the sheet pooled at her hips, is incredible to me. Maybe she could feel me staring at her, because as I toyed with the idea of sliding my fingers through the small gathering of sweat between her shoulders, her eyes fluttered open and were now looking at me.
I wasn’t sure of the protocol for a situation like this, so I stayed perfectly still, and waited. She moved slowly, gathering me into her, spooning me from behind. Her hand came to rest against my stomach, in a movement that was meant to be familiar and intimate. I nearly wept at the way she snuggled into my back, brushing her nose along the ridge of my shoulder blades, and kissing me tenderly there.
“I didn’t feel it, but you made me believe.” Such a poet, my Catherine, but didn’t mean I understood what she meant any more. She probably realized this, because I could feel her smile against me as she continued. “Some jerk doctor from my case with Nicky, honestly had me questioning my aesthetic value. I couldn’t look in the mirror and feel beautiful. I tried, but it just seemed suddenly like I was old and unattractive.”
“That’s why you came here tonight?” I asked, finally understanding how the glow of her eyes had disappeared, how her confidence had dissipated.
“I’d seen you look at me, over the years, thinking you’d not been noticed. But I did notice, and I could always see the desire and raw want in your eyes. I guess…” she trailed off, and I wanted to turn over, to look in her eyes, but the same way this would be easier for me to say without eye contact, I figured it would be easier for her too. I let her take her time, and hoped she’d go on.
“I guess I needed to feel wanted,” she continued. “I could get it from the guys, but for them it’s so hormonal. Subconsciously, I think at least, I wanted it to be desire, and want, with feeling. Not a fleeting thing, you know?”
I didn’t, not really, but nodded anyway. She hugged me to her, and I felt her lips against my back as she formed her next words. “I needed this from you, and I didn’t realize, until I got here, how badly it had to be you. When you opened your door, and you were standing there so cute, with your pajamas on, which I’m sure you never wear because they still have the pristine crease folds from being folded for so long, and I just… couldn’t help myself.”
“You sound like a sex-addict,” I chuckled. “And I’ll have you know, that I just bought those pajamas. I decided to be decadent, and splurge on silk. I usually just sleep in the nude.”
“That would have made this go a whole lot easier,” she groaned.
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t have been as much fun,” I reasoned.
“True.” She released her hold on me a bit, and I took the opportunity to turn in her arms, towards her. “I’d ask what’s going to happen next,” she said, “but I already know the answer.”
“Oh?” I said, my nervous nature returning to the forefront, pushing confident-lesbian Sara to the closet again. Her tight lipped, chaste kiss to my lips was enough to quell any of my fears, and my fingers came up to stroke and trace her jaw and cheeks.
“Yeah, a repeat performance, babe.”
I laughed out loud at that. “So confident, this one,” I mumbled, as she pulled me in for a more thorough, exploring kiss. I smiled as our kiss continued and I had to give a silent thank you to Jerk Doctor. He clearly was a jerk, but at least he set something in motion that I couldn’t be sure would have ever started, had he not said what he had said.
I couldn’t tell you what was going to happen after we left this room, and returned to our real lives, but this morning, and possibly this afternoon, would be forever etched into my mind’s eye. I’m throwing up a silent promise to make this girl feel like the deity she is, when and if she’ll let me. She deserves that, and so much more, and I hope she let’s me give it to her.
-End