Nudge

Mar 21, 2006 16:53

So Gillen sent me a "nudge" on Sunday night. I haven't posted on LJ in six weeks.

I must admit its nice to be missed (thanks Gillen--really). However, I must admit that I am very wary of returning online. I have had some kind of web presence since sometime since the summer of '96. There have been lots of random, weird personal webpages, proto-blogs and blogs in the last 10 years or so. I've enjoyed them a lot, and more or less done nothing more than that with them--just enjoyed them.

The thing is I'm no longer sure how well I can fit a blog into my life. This LJ account has been used largely to keep in touch with old school friends, to make sure that we don't lose each other, and to keep up the witty, banal and down-right silly midwifery of each other's "spirit/thought-babies." All of which is good, and something I'm inclined to do what I can to see it continue.

On the other hand, I am embarking on what will hopefully be a serious career of some weight. The blunt, frank truth of the matter is that there are somethings which one would say in privacy, in jest, in the confidence of a friendship developed over years that one not only is uncomfortable sharing with the world, but really ought not to (very much in the "thou shalt not" sense).

Admittedly, this is only mere ego-stroking at this point in my life, but quite frankly, I may someday apply to be a judge, or run for office, or be up for partner at a firm or ... In our "gotcha" culture of political correctness its all to easy to imagine some flippant remark made online, in a blog from decades ago popping up to cause a disqualifying furor.

So why not then just blog, only exercise such self-censorship as to avoid such problems? Well, that indeed might be the thing to do.... but that I think rules out LJ. LJ is really about the flippant, casual throw-away remark. The "meme" is its hallmark. If I want to write a serious blog, I should probably just cancel this account and register with typepad to create a more serious "online column." But that is unsatisfactory. Sure, I have opinions (as you all know quite well). But that's not why I'm online. At least it hasn't been... but maybe it should be.

To some extent that is where I have been heading (and was thinking of heading) anyways. More book reviews, less memes. More thought "column/essay" type entries, less personal updates and quirky observations.

Bah.

So there you be. That's why I haven't blogged in a while. I hope you find it helpful, and I hope to high heaven that I don't find myself in front of some committee someday explaining that really I'm not that self-centered, careerism minded, or prideful as to think everything I've ever written to be significant to posterity. I just don't want my young-turk twenty or thirty-something year old self to shoot my fifty year old self in the foot.

Bah.

blog

Previous post Next post
Up