long time no see... five months is it? I've lost track.bogus825August 6 2004, 11:28:22 UTC
maybe you and I need to talk.
Alone.
I have a lot of things I'd like to get off my chest, and I'm sure you'd like to say a few things.
I don't want to avoid you or cause a scene... maybe if we meet some place and just talk... no boyfriends.
there are so many things i want to say and some of them are bad. i want to express my emotions to you in a healthy way. perhaps this will help push us in a new direction.
i will try my best to be civil. but for me, as you know, it will be emotional. especially seeing you for the first time since it all happened.
... frankly, i don't care. i just want the drama over. but i don't know if a friendship can be rekindled or not. i just want a definate closure. you and me. no one else. and this time, i'll listen to what you have to say. if you in turn will respect what I have to say.
I'm getting into something new with another guy. We both seem to like eachother. It's a friendship now and it could be serious later down the line.
...and maybe... just maybe... if all goes well between us if we meet, we'll be able to talk about anything and everything as two friends.
... I do want to talk. But I would like a certain ammount of respect for my feelings, the same respect that I will give you.
And lets both be honest with eachother... I'm hearing conflicting stories... and would like to know the truth about things.
Re: long time no see... five months is it? I've lost track.charliekeenjrAugust 6 2004, 12:44:50 UTC
We'll see.
I'm off today, yet, I'm being as lazy as possible today. A little cleaning and that about covers it. Beer and Internet and Tv and rest. FINALLY, a dayy off!!!
I got your voice mail. I just got home from dropping mwvaughan off at work. Do you know he works for SPECTRUM now? I think it's cute. They adore him.
We'll set up something. I'm harboring minimal (if any) anger. I just want peace.. you-know? As long as there's no yelling, I am open to listening. I'm tired of the frustrations and bad blood between us. Why do we need SWITZARLAND? Why can we just.. I don't know... not hate?
Re: long time no see... five months is it? I've lost track.bogus825August 6 2004, 16:27:41 UTC
there's a lot of anger here too.
do we really need to discuss the same stuff we've tried to discuss before and ended up in a downward spiral? Or can we simply agree to disagree?
I was a monster to you. But if intentional or not, I was provoked. And I'm sorry. I'm very sorry for all I've said and done to make your life a living hell.
There's so much I want to do to end this all and start over. Do you think its possible? I want to laugh with you again.
... I've laughed a lot these past few months and I'd like to share my smile with you.
...congrats that you and Matthew are doing so well.
Re: long time no see... five months is it? I've lost track.bogus825August 6 2004, 22:13:06 UTC
same here.
slowly but surely things are beginning to reshape.
i really like being single. i go to the madhatter often, not to get a quick fix, but to hang out with new friends and watch the drag shows... as horrible as they are.
the smoky atmosphere is odd in a sort of way. i like standing at the cashier talking to Ben drawing on his notebook paper, greeting the cuties that walk through the door. It's interesting how many faces you recognize from the web. Just tonight I met Adam (a guy on livejournal and hot or not) who I've chatted with on AOL several times.
I like being single, sure there's Lewis but he's a roomate and friend. We have our personal space, I can retreat into my own room and write or ... yeah. So far, no boyfriends yet.
... as you probably know, I'm not quite suited for anyone yet. One has to love themselves first before loving someone else.
... I've been writing non-stop. So many story ideas. I've been researching quite a bit.
I've finished the Vampire Chronicles and scouting around for her other novels, borrowing from friends and what not. So far, I have Cry to Heaven and Feast of all Saints. None of which I've actually read.
And then there's Ashton.
...not a boyfriend, yet. We're both agreeing to take things extra extra extra slow. He's new to being gay. He came out just a few months ago. He doesn't want to rush in to anything, nor do I. We're just friends now, random chats at Waffle House, e-mailing like in You've Got Mail, phone calls... he's a virgo. Very laid back but still gets his feelings easily hurt. We're alike in many ways and seem to get along well.
sorry... just felt like typing to catch up. sort of like... giving a recap.
Lately I find myself less and less attatched to the memories. Sometimes I lay awake in bed, coaching myself back to reality. Most times, I just want to forget about them, ya know? Most times, all I think about is writing and enjoying life as is.
A lot has changed in these past few months. A little more laid back, myself. Life's too short for drama. I want it over so my smile can be genuine.
I learned how to back out of spaces without panicking. And I drive on the highway... a little. ;)
Alone.
I have a lot of things I'd like to get off my chest, and I'm sure you'd like to say a few things.
I don't want to avoid you or cause a scene... maybe if we meet some place and just talk... no boyfriends.
there are so many things i want to say and some of them are bad. i want to express my emotions to you in a healthy way. perhaps this will help push us in a new direction.
i will try my best to be civil. but for me, as you know, it will be emotional. especially seeing you for the first time since it all happened.
... frankly, i don't care. i just want the drama over. but i don't know if a friendship can be rekindled or not. i just want a definate closure. you and me. no one else. and this time, i'll listen to what you have to say. if you in turn will respect what I have to say.
I'm getting into something new with another guy. We both seem to like eachother. It's a friendship now and it could be serious later down the line.
...and maybe... just maybe... if all goes well between us if we meet, we'll be able to talk about anything and everything as two friends.
... I do want to talk. But I would like a certain ammount of respect for my feelings, the same respect that I will give you.
And lets both be honest with eachother... I'm hearing conflicting stories... and would like to know the truth about things.
how about coffee? or lunch?
Reply
I'm off today, yet, I'm being as lazy as possible today. A little cleaning and that about covers it. Beer and Internet and Tv and rest. FINALLY, a dayy off!!!
I got your voice mail. I just got home from dropping mwvaughan off at work. Do you know he works for SPECTRUM now? I think it's cute. They adore him.
We'll set up something. I'm harboring minimal (if any) anger. I just want peace.. you-know? As long as there's no yelling, I am open to listening. I'm tired of the frustrations and bad blood between us. Why do we need SWITZARLAND? Why can we just.. I don't know... not hate?
Reply
do we really need to discuss the same stuff we've tried to discuss before and ended up in a downward spiral? Or can we simply agree to disagree?
I was a monster to you. But if intentional or not, I was provoked. And I'm sorry. I'm very sorry for all I've said and done to make your life a living hell.
There's so much I want to do to end this all and start over. Do you think its possible? I want to laugh with you again.
... I've laughed a lot these past few months and I'd like to share my smile with you.
...congrats that you and Matthew are doing so well.
... hope to hear from you soon.
Reply
I honestly have nothing much to say. I'm greatly moved past the old stuff, and there's been no contact for new stuff.
I agree that I provoked alot, both intentionally and unintentionally.
I think I'm lost the anger... These 3 months, have deffinitely been good for me.
Reply
slowly but surely things are beginning to reshape.
i really like being single. i go to the madhatter often, not to get a quick fix, but to hang out with new friends and watch the drag shows... as horrible as they are.
the smoky atmosphere is odd in a sort of way. i like standing at the cashier talking to Ben drawing on his notebook paper, greeting the cuties that walk through the door. It's interesting how many faces you recognize from the web. Just tonight I met Adam (a guy on livejournal and hot or not) who I've chatted with on AOL several times.
I like being single, sure there's Lewis but he's a roomate and friend. We have our personal space, I can retreat into my own room and write or ... yeah. So far, no boyfriends yet.
... as you probably know, I'm not quite suited for anyone yet. One has to love themselves first before loving someone else.
... I've been writing non-stop. So many story ideas. I've been researching quite a bit.
I've finished the Vampire Chronicles and scouting around for her other novels, borrowing from friends and what not. So far, I have Cry to Heaven and Feast of all Saints. None of which I've actually read.
And then there's Ashton.
...not a boyfriend, yet. We're both agreeing to take things extra extra extra slow. He's new to being gay. He came out just a few months ago. He doesn't want to rush in to anything, nor do I. We're just friends now, random chats at Waffle House, e-mailing like in You've Got Mail, phone calls... he's a virgo. Very laid back but still gets his feelings easily hurt. We're alike in many ways and seem to get along well.
sorry... just felt like typing to catch up. sort of like... giving a recap.
Lately I find myself less and less attatched to the memories. Sometimes I lay awake in bed, coaching myself back to reality. Most times, I just want to forget about them, ya know? Most times, all I think about is writing and enjoying life as is.
A lot has changed in these past few months. A little more laid back, myself. Life's too short for drama. I want it over so my smile can be genuine.
I learned how to back out of spaces without panicking. And I drive on the highway... a little. ;)
And you?
Reply
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