hopeless romantic
i'm going to write this, and i don't care who reads it, or what people think/say...
There's someone out there that from the moment i saw them, i just knew.. right away, they were something special to me. I had been hurt in the past, but that person make all those fears float away. her smile, her laugh, the look in her eye's.. just being around her made me feel completely at peace, a peace that i hadn’t known for a very long time. I found myself thinking how things came about... if i hadn’t crashed my wrx.. would i have been there on the night i met her.. would i have the best friend that i have, swinging around to stop into that gas station to say "hey, whats up". It became clear to me that crashing my wrx was the best thing that ever happened to me. insurance covered the car. I got a nice new wrx sti. and i knew the most beautiful girl i had ever met, and she wanted to hang out with me. All this left me just as quickly as it came.. i didn't even see it leaving until everything was dark. I still did what i intended.. I moved, forced change on my life to try and make things better for myself. hung out with the gang.. met new people... but none of it brings that feeling of contentment back to me. I fear talking to anyone about this.. even my own, and her closest friends. the person i felt the closest to, with every bit of fire that i saw in those eye's, was as cold to me now in stark contrast... and i couldn't fathom why. Even if i wanted to get away from these feelings my dreams would not let me. Good or bad as the day had been, or how much or little i thought about her, she would be in my dreams, always a reminder for when i awoke, it would be taken from me again. I don't even know if i'm good at hiding my feelings. anytime anyone's asked me what was wrong, and i said nothing.. this was and is the soul reason why.
There's someone out there that from the moment i saw them, i just knew.. right away, they were something special to me. I had been hurt in the past, but that person make all those fears float away. her smile, her laugh, the look in her eye's.. just being around her made me feel completely at peace, a peace that i hadn’t known for a very long time. I found myself thinking how things came about... if i hadn’t crashed my wrx.. would i have been there on the night i met her.. would i have the best friend that i have, swinging around to stop into that gas station to say "hey, whats up". It became clear to me that crashing my wrx was the best thing that ever happened to me. insurance covered the car. I got a nice new wrx sti. and i knew the most beautiful girl i had ever met, and she wanted to hang out with me. All this left me just as quickly as it came.. i didn't even see it leaving until everything was dark. I still did what i intended.. I moved, forced change on my life to try and make things better for myself. hung out with the gang.. met new people... but none of it brings that feeling of contentment back to me. I fear talking to anyone about this.. even my own, and her closest friends. the person i felt the closest to, with every bit of fire that i saw in those eye's, was as cold to me now in stark contrast... and i couldn't fathom why. Even if i wanted to get away from these feelings my dreams would not let me. Good or bad as the day had been, or how much or little i thought about her, she would be in my dreams, always a reminder for when i awoke, it would be taken from me again. I don't even know if i'm good at hiding my feelings. anytime anyone's asked me what was wrong, and i said nothing.. this was and is the soul reason why.