I keep meaning to get back into lj

[bofish]

I honestly do, I swear. I often open up a new update page and end up staring at it for hours, wondering what the hell I could possibly say. So much has changed since I was on here; my life is completely different. I've discovered so much more of myself since I was just this silly fourteen-year-old typing about Supernatural and Torchwood and starting to get into Glee. I've been through a thousand identity changes--gender identity, sexuality, personality, wishes and hopes for the future, relationship changes, friendship changes, future education changes... there's little that remains as it was before.


My name is Adam. I haven't decided on a middle name yet, but that's going to come with time--I have years to decide that still.

I'm a comfortable 2 on the Kinsey Scale, making me bisexual.

I've been horribly sleep-deprived.

I'm back together with my ex-girlfriend now and couldn't be happier.

I'm well-entrenched in the Glee fandom on tumblr (especially the Quaine [Quinn/Blaine] and Klaine [Kurt/Blaine] parts of it).

I've started double bass lessons.

I've met some amazing people on tumblr and have fallen head over heels for Dianna Agron and Darren Criss (who wouldn't?).

I've been writing and making graphics and taking exams at school and in music.

I've got my first suit.

I've been doing concerts and recording various tracks.

I've been tempted to set my art coursework on fire multiple times and to punch various teachers in the face when they want me to achieve better than A and A* grades.

I wrote smut fic for the first time.

I've been having counselling, arguing with my parents over my identity, having them start to come to terms with it, and trying to figure out what I want from life (I'll let you know when I figure it out).

I went to Glee Live.

I've turned sixteen.

I've become addicted to waistcoats and bowties, and now have a nice collection of both.

I've cried myself to sleep.

I've been cutting my hair shorter and shorter and my appearance has been through several changes.

I've laughed so hard that I thought I was going to vomit.

I'm openly transgender at school and the majority of people seem to know and accept it, although I get some inappropriate and invasive questions pretty frequently, which I can deal with as long as people are trying to understand, at the very least.

I've stayed up all night to watch Glee and seriously regretted it the next day (but not really--after all, it's Glee).

I've seen the end of my childhood with the last Harry Potter movie.

I've chosen my AS/A2 Level subjects--English Literature, Music, Classical Civilisations, Biology and Latin, with Biology and Latin at just AS level.

I've put on weight.

I've lost weight.

I'm starting to work out what careers I want to look at, changing my mind on pretty much a monthly basis. (At the moment it's a professor of English, but ask me again in a few weeks.)

I've made friends.

I've travelled around the world. (No, literally. This summer, my family and I did an around-the-world trip in six weeks, travelling to Beijing and Xi'an in China, Tokyo in Japan, Sydney in Australia, driving down the north island of New Zealand, Oahu and Hawai'i in Hawaii, LA in California and then back home again.)

I've lost friends.

I've rolled my eyes at various decisions made by the US congress (declaring pizza a vegetable? really?) and been upset by the riots going on all over the world--in Libya, in Egypt, even in my home country England.

I've sung on the Sydney Opera House opera stage.

My parents wrote 'Adam' as one of the many names on my birthday presents.

My grandfather died.

I've done work experience teaching in the nursery of my primary school and loved every minute.

I've thought about suicide.

I've experienced homophobia when expressing heterosexual affection, which shook both me and my girlfriend.

I deal with physical and gender dysphoria on a daily basis and sometimes I think that it'll never get better.

I'm thinking about the future.