(no subject)
It shouldn't be thought that as paralyzing as the blank page is that a stream of a dozen, score, or even a hundred pages will ease the struggle to produce a single moment of pure thought-execution. In fact, it can exponentially increase these difficulties because you no longer stare at the whiteness of nothing but through the jungle of your thoughts poured out like a burst dam. Wading through this slosh of text and concept provides the peril of forgetting what it was that sprung that dam in the first place. Great efforts remain effortless in their appearance, they simply cannot be any other way then they are - my example; the river. While it bends all ways and takes tremendous power to resist, the water holds no cause or purpose to its direction, the earth surrounding it shapes it and the two come together into a perpetual flow. I have sprung the water freely but now must apply earth to it and seek without seeking how it will glide out from me.
This tale I wish to tell has been emerging for months now with traces of its foundation going back to 10th grade or earlier and still I am unsure what its meaning is. I am sure that it did not finish itself in grade school because I did not know myself then. How could I express what I was unsure about? But this character, this avatar, lives the same life as I do and knows what I know. The character's hitherto lack of direction reflects my own state. The abyss I stare into, stares back and its gaze is not unfelt. Anthony's journey had started as a wandering through the fog of America wherein he encountered strange characters that subvert his preconceived notions of living. But this was simply me exposing myself in his surroundings with a new character to every whim and triviality. Anthony was nothing more than the water, shapeless and aimless. He can only survive as long as they continue to affect him but there is no living like that; bumped around by your peers however bold and brilliant.
As my personal research into Buddhism and eastern philosophies expand, I see a new way for Anthony, as the lone figure learning to embrace and live the principles of Buddhism. Letting go of the concept of 'self' that traps us in certain patterns that may be self-destructive. Breaking away from moving in accordance to objects and abandoning the search for a deeper dance-like motive that leads us to an enlightened state of non-being. In these ways we can put an end to pride, greed, anger, and ignorance that pit us against each other and spread suffering. With this direction I can now see how Anthony will teach me - as I seek out his evolution away from petty trappings I will learn my own escape.
This tale I wish to tell has been emerging for months now with traces of its foundation going back to 10th grade or earlier and still I am unsure what its meaning is. I am sure that it did not finish itself in grade school because I did not know myself then. How could I express what I was unsure about? But this character, this avatar, lives the same life as I do and knows what I know. The character's hitherto lack of direction reflects my own state. The abyss I stare into, stares back and its gaze is not unfelt. Anthony's journey had started as a wandering through the fog of America wherein he encountered strange characters that subvert his preconceived notions of living. But this was simply me exposing myself in his surroundings with a new character to every whim and triviality. Anthony was nothing more than the water, shapeless and aimless. He can only survive as long as they continue to affect him but there is no living like that; bumped around by your peers however bold and brilliant.
As my personal research into Buddhism and eastern philosophies expand, I see a new way for Anthony, as the lone figure learning to embrace and live the principles of Buddhism. Letting go of the concept of 'self' that traps us in certain patterns that may be self-destructive. Breaking away from moving in accordance to objects and abandoning the search for a deeper dance-like motive that leads us to an enlightened state of non-being. In these ways we can put an end to pride, greed, anger, and ignorance that pit us against each other and spread suffering. With this direction I can now see how Anthony will teach me - as I seek out his evolution away from petty trappings I will learn my own escape.