as if the whole world were holding its breath.
it is 2008. this is my first entry of the year.
I feel incredibly isolated.
I just finished re-reading His Dark Materials. I cried again. it's too much. breathless optimism. I'm hitting a wall over and over again in my heart.
I've lost about ten pounds in about three weeks. numbers are pretty much the only thing I can focus my mind on without dissolving into a blubbering mess. other things keep creeping into the picture though and I'm not ready for them. numbers and I, we're happy loners right now. I think about music and love and something shatters, I have to curl up back inside myself and consider burning the last few bridges I have just so I can stay safe away from those words. it's probably best that everyone stays away from me for a while. I'm a guaranteed mood-spoiler as it stands.
I feel incredibly isolated.
I just finished re-reading His Dark Materials. I cried again. it's too much. breathless optimism. I'm hitting a wall over and over again in my heart.
I've lost about ten pounds in about three weeks. numbers are pretty much the only thing I can focus my mind on without dissolving into a blubbering mess. other things keep creeping into the picture though and I'm not ready for them. numbers and I, we're happy loners right now. I think about music and love and something shatters, I have to curl up back inside myself and consider burning the last few bridges I have just so I can stay safe away from those words. it's probably best that everyone stays away from me for a while. I'm a guaranteed mood-spoiler as it stands.