why it's so awesome to live with your mother
I can't be too mean about my mother. She's pretty awesome. She likes to throw parties. She likes to party, and we have fun together. She's throwing a great big birthday party for my great aunt Mimi's 90th birthday. Which is cool. I enjoy hanging out with my family. Unfortunately, I am just not feeling it. I feel surly. Frankly, this is my time of the month to be surly.
I've been cleaning house just about all day in preparation for this shindig, and my mother is just emanating this essence of urgency. She works a full time job, but she wants to make sure that the house, the backyard, everything looks beautiful. And it does. I even dusted the blinds. I have this problem with empathy, though, so her sense of urgency makes me feel like I'm having a very long panic attack. Maybe that's how she feels, too. If so, I don't know how she maintains her cloak of sanity, because I couldn't do it. Maybe it has something to do with the generational difference.
Furthermore, there's going to be a bunch of those family members over tomorrow that I hardly ever see, and they're all going to awkwardly say they're sorry for my loss and bring their little children. Don't get me wrong. I love children. I (generally) love my family, but they seem to waltz in and out of various family events and, beyond that, we share so little in common that it's just hard. It's easier for me to love strangers and friends, and I'm awful at feigning affection.
All that aside, it's one of my very close friend's graduation day, so I've committed myself to going out with the girls for some celebrating. I love them, but I feel tired. I wanted to have this weekend to try to collect myself before class starts on Monday, but I guess I knew that was not going to be the case all along.
I've been cleaning house just about all day in preparation for this shindig, and my mother is just emanating this essence of urgency. She works a full time job, but she wants to make sure that the house, the backyard, everything looks beautiful. And it does. I even dusted the blinds. I have this problem with empathy, though, so her sense of urgency makes me feel like I'm having a very long panic attack. Maybe that's how she feels, too. If so, I don't know how she maintains her cloak of sanity, because I couldn't do it. Maybe it has something to do with the generational difference.
Furthermore, there's going to be a bunch of those family members over tomorrow that I hardly ever see, and they're all going to awkwardly say they're sorry for my loss and bring their little children. Don't get me wrong. I love children. I (generally) love my family, but they seem to waltz in and out of various family events and, beyond that, we share so little in common that it's just hard. It's easier for me to love strangers and friends, and I'm awful at feigning affection.
All that aside, it's one of my very close friend's graduation day, so I've committed myself to going out with the girls for some celebrating. I love them, but I feel tired. I wanted to have this weekend to try to collect myself before class starts on Monday, but I guess I knew that was not going to be the case all along.