(no subject)
im turning into a complete loony and its def not attractive...... i seriously just give up on guys all together...... im like wow this is so fucking lame give me a break.... i write it in my live journal as of august 17, 2005 no more guys for like a month.... that will last for about a few days till i go back to panera bread i seriously have been messed up with guys for the last 2 years.... who even cares anymore im naming names.... 2 years ago i had like the closest thing ive ever had to love in my life with perry. and ive never felt that way again... and then ive liked people but its not the same at all. like i liked andrew and jason randomly along with other guys but seriously who cares. i never got butterflies with them or anything remotely special and i always fell back on perry. i mean i could like the guy by reading old online conversations we had from like 2 years ago. i fucking had like a panic attack when i saw him in walmart a few weeks ago. no healthy i know. then i had like brent as my best friend in the world and our relationship is totally obliterated and i havent gotten over that at all. i just completely lost a person who i was closest to. and now like i cant hug people anymore because i always used to find comfort in brents hugs because they actually meant something to me. so im like afraid to get close to people and that they will hurt me. so for the first time in a long time i get this giddy feeling where im actually realy happy and smiling and now im just like fuck it all.... its so lame seriously im just so tired of it..... im putting song lyrics in here now leave me a comment if anyone has an opinion on my crazy ranting