Morning from Hell...part 1
Yeas..I went to bed really late last night. I think about 1:40 ish. The Ana that everyone is use to falls asleep about 11pm. Its not really me thats doing it honestly. Its really these pills I take. Aderal. I took them really late so they lasted late into the night. Yea so my mom who is now lying on my bed taking on the phone as I type, she woke me up at like the ass crack of dawn with her clanging of plates and her dropping loud metal objects...No that didn't piss me off. Then my dog started scratching on the door for like an hour..so I was forced to wake myself. I fell so terrible. I have no idea how this happened but I'm actually getting sick again. It funny cuz I didn't share drink with people or anything. I think my house gave me a cold because it is so cold!!!Anways I was just laying in the bed like being sore and moody and gross. I'm not a morning person at all. So I get up and go into the bathroom the brush my teeth and my legs are like on fire and are incredibly sore and acy. I cut so deep that I was actually walking funny. I need to like get a hobie so I won't cut. I should like start playing chess in the park or maybe picking up empty soda cans..hum..yea I'll figure somthing out. But I just wana sleep and I can't. My mom is leaving and she wants me to go to church with her at 2. i've been doin alot of thinking about church in this town and I'm not to sure I like it one bit. You know what I do like...cookies. If I could eat without feeling like vomitting I would totally eat cookies. aderal really has ups and downs to it. I'm kinda embarrassed to say I take aderal some times..Its just people in this town are naturally smart and I am this "late bloomer" from texas who is just all over the place. So i take aderal to help me consintrate. It works really well. That line reminds me of the script I do with josh>eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. We talk about xanex in the script. So the last class I had with Josh was when he told me bout the mono. That was also The Day Mr.T came back. So Mr.T and Mr.E were trying to upstage eachother. It was really funny at first but after like an hour I was ready to get out my club. So Mr. E wanted Josh and I to perform for them with like 2 min.s to practice. So we went up there and I was nervise as hell. Then I noticed that josh wasn't even trying. Its cuz he was under the weather at that moment. So I tryed to pick up the slack but a couple of min.s into it I started feeling really sick and feverish. So I started to slack ofF with the emotion in clemintine..pluse I mean he asked me to act mysterious and like I was playing a game with joel to real him in for sex. So I acted on that as well as I could. When It ended josh and I did an akward hug. So then Mr. T tore us apart. It was mostly me that he tore apart. I just love it how josh doesn't even try and he gets by..but when It comes to me I try my best and its still not good enough. Mr. T started talking about how we should have fun and How Josh needs to really show thats hes falling in love with my character. Sometimes It feels like joel and clemintine really reflect our personalitys..It really interesting because the character I play says things that I would say. And joel and josh and both shy yet mysterious people. So I'm curious to see what happens Monday. Josh Probibly won't show up again but Then I'll work with britney. You know who I havn't said a word about yet... Christian> yea hes this senior from wilton. I had this crush on him at young life camp then we didn't see eachother for a few months and then the other night he signs on and we start talkin. He started telling me about his g/f and how he wants to break up with her because she wants somthing he wanted to save for marriage. I swear I was like omg u are so cute.lol. anyways we talk about alot of stuff and our course I just had to mention being sick and I could see the instant change in him. Yea he is a prime example of anouthe guy I will never have a relationship with because, I am sick. I almost felt like a charity case. Well I'm ok with that I guess but he was really cute so. Its funny how god has put my in this religious circle of men. Christian who is a christian and Josh whom is jewish. yeah T bone says I think to much about this stuff and shes right. I won't denie it. Yeah I'm guna go like take a shower>laters