(no subject)
well, the past few days have been really good, and hopefully time can stay that way for a while? I guess, Im glad I had the balls to approach Jazz and say look, lets end this in a good way, and it resulted in us sort of becoming friends again... which im real glad happened, cause its so horrible to just end friendships like that, isnt it? On other notes, my friends and I are closer then ever, and at just good timing now, too... cause summer's starting and we're gonna hang out more then ever.. especially packing up my house and moving to my new house.. LMAO!!!! I'm real excited about moving... and well, i'm gonna experience a lot of things for a while now, and it's hard to just deal with them.
Last night, I was like, thinking and I was like, wow... life is such a complex deal.. there are literally millions, and billions and trillions of roads to take and spaces to fill, and which one shall we do? We have one body, one session of life, one chance to make everything right, and we best not waste it... then I got to thinking.. that people never really make up their personality. I mean, you know how everyone says that when you become an adult, you have a full personality and you have "found yourself"? well, i think thats bull shit, because when you become an adult, you just get too busy to think about all these life things you think about as a teenager.. i'm here wondering how the hell this world came to be, i'm here wondering how people can possible put a word, a label on an emotion which is hard to discribe in itself, i'm here wondering how can the world function with such differences embalmed in it all.. but as an adult, with bills to pay, children to juggle, responsibilities to have.. i can't think of these things, so we just become part of that working crowd.. the crowd that just doesn't think anymore... I hit all the ages after about 17. and that really sucks. I don't want to be sucked into such a boring crowd, where I have no time to sit for hours and think peacefully about WHAT THE HELL WE'RE ALL MEANT TO DO HERE ON THIS PLANET. The whole fuckin world is overwhelming.. and I want to just experience as much as I can, you know? It's amazing that something so complex and hard-living as life is made so simple by these fucking people who just chose to give up and settle down at such an early age and never move again except to go to work and pick up toilet paper at Winn Dixie when they're running low. It pisses me off. Life is so much more then everything that everyone is doing.. I mean, life had so many more sides to it... and all you fucking people who are so upset with yourselves, who are so sad and hate everyone... i think you guys are the fucking most ungrateful bastards on this planet. there's so much more in life to be gained then just your thoughts of depression and sadness... theres actually things to live for, and things to see, and people to meet.... people who have lives just like you... who have had a different path, and who you come across for A SPECIFIC REASON. Why else would you just come across people if something wasn't meant to happen there that's BIG? I mean, the millions and trillions of people that are out there, and you land with this ONE PERSON... and this is why its hard to cope with everything.. choice. cause we cant decide, and fate just throws things at us, and how do we deal? we're only humans... we can only handle so much, you know? I mean, theres so much more behind the word "love". Thats all I'm trying to say. How can people explain that feeling you get when you want to protect some one you love? A spouse, a lover, a sister, a bestfriend? How can some one explain what you feel when you are rejected by some one you love? How can you explain the amount of anything you'd do for some one you love? or hate? or ANYTHING. EMOTIONS CANNOT HAVE NAMES, and yet we manage to live by those names each day. Shit, i'm rambling, but so many things are being thrown to my fingers by my brain. I gotta stop!!!! ttyll
Last night, I was like, thinking and I was like, wow... life is such a complex deal.. there are literally millions, and billions and trillions of roads to take and spaces to fill, and which one shall we do? We have one body, one session of life, one chance to make everything right, and we best not waste it... then I got to thinking.. that people never really make up their personality. I mean, you know how everyone says that when you become an adult, you have a full personality and you have "found yourself"? well, i think thats bull shit, because when you become an adult, you just get too busy to think about all these life things you think about as a teenager.. i'm here wondering how the hell this world came to be, i'm here wondering how people can possible put a word, a label on an emotion which is hard to discribe in itself, i'm here wondering how can the world function with such differences embalmed in it all.. but as an adult, with bills to pay, children to juggle, responsibilities to have.. i can't think of these things, so we just become part of that working crowd.. the crowd that just doesn't think anymore... I hit all the ages after about 17. and that really sucks. I don't want to be sucked into such a boring crowd, where I have no time to sit for hours and think peacefully about WHAT THE HELL WE'RE ALL MEANT TO DO HERE ON THIS PLANET. The whole fuckin world is overwhelming.. and I want to just experience as much as I can, you know? It's amazing that something so complex and hard-living as life is made so simple by these fucking people who just chose to give up and settle down at such an early age and never move again except to go to work and pick up toilet paper at Winn Dixie when they're running low. It pisses me off. Life is so much more then everything that everyone is doing.. I mean, life had so many more sides to it... and all you fucking people who are so upset with yourselves, who are so sad and hate everyone... i think you guys are the fucking most ungrateful bastards on this planet. there's so much more in life to be gained then just your thoughts of depression and sadness... theres actually things to live for, and things to see, and people to meet.... people who have lives just like you... who have had a different path, and who you come across for A SPECIFIC REASON. Why else would you just come across people if something wasn't meant to happen there that's BIG? I mean, the millions and trillions of people that are out there, and you land with this ONE PERSON... and this is why its hard to cope with everything.. choice. cause we cant decide, and fate just throws things at us, and how do we deal? we're only humans... we can only handle so much, you know? I mean, theres so much more behind the word "love". Thats all I'm trying to say. How can people explain that feeling you get when you want to protect some one you love? A spouse, a lover, a sister, a bestfriend? How can some one explain what you feel when you are rejected by some one you love? How can you explain the amount of anything you'd do for some one you love? or hate? or ANYTHING. EMOTIONS CANNOT HAVE NAMES, and yet we manage to live by those names each day. Shit, i'm rambling, but so many things are being thrown to my fingers by my brain. I gotta stop!!!! ttyll