(no subject)
ok so i havnt done this in a long fucking time...im chilling at home now by myself.. little bit drunk..and for some reason i got live journal in my head..for the first time in awhile i want to write in here..also for a first ever i went and saw my brother..i ended up there because of my good freind jb..now there is a class act this dude make my life worth while.. i love the fact that he ended up here with me...hes a dude that lives life how it should be lived.. its weird just looking at the last entry that i left on here..so much has changed sine kelowna..but theng again alot hasnt..im still the same Rory...fuck right now i miss my brother more then ever..its been awhile since i viseted him and its weird that i pretty much got pushed into going..but looking at his grave and his tree i fell strong.. my life has always been a struggle but i am making it..death has always been a thing that haunts me...for awhile when i was younger i thought that i brought it with me..i blammed myslelf for what happend to outhers..but now i realize that its just a part of life..i lost my best freind a couple months ago..he may have been my dog but he wwas so much more..he was a part of me..i miss him more then realize..those stupid noises that i protested about are now something i seek...i hear something out of the ordenary and think its him,.. but hes gone..but fuck that he lived his life and im happy that i even got to have the satisfaction of meeting him..i realize that the people that i make freinds with are more then just freinds..just cus i dont roll that way..i make best freinds..i love the fact i can look at the people i care about and say thhat i love them and mean it.tonight has been something that means more then these simple words can express..as much as i can count on the downs in life..i love the tiny ups that happen all the time..life is not what you can expect but more of something that happens to you...the road may have its ups and downs..but the best part of it all is the middleground..because there you realize what counts the most