(no subject)
My recent thoughs on love has changed... wat hurts more then any mortal physical wound is the mental wound of being alone... last night at work i saw a couple walking around at like 4 in the morning shopping.. all happy hand and hand and everything... and if u look at them they were complete opposits...Every goes through a stage where they start thinking about love.. most of the time its when they think they will die alone... or just never feel love again.. and sadly u dont know love till its lost.... sadly this has happend to me recently... i lost the one women i loved with all my heart and soull.. the one women that i wanted to spend every second of the day making her happy and make her feel like a queen.. i would have taken a bullet straight through the heart for her.. and even tho alot has changed.. i still feel that love.. and i still would die for her.. anyways.... Love can be either a strength or a weakness.. it all depends on the current situation..i cant explain the feeling... but when ur walking by urself and u see a couple walking hand in hand or maybe even the guys arm is around her waist u start to think.. u want to be in that postion.. u want it more then anything.. u want to feel her warm body against urs.. u want to feel her lips against urs creating the warm sensation in ur heart... The only problem now adays is teh whole good guy/ bad guy thing... guys will say o im a good guy and i finsh last.. in most cases this is correct... but then women will always say " no thats not true. good guys dont fininsh last. id date a good guy" but thats a lie.. they always go for the hardcore kid... the kid that will treat them like shit and they withstand it.. i mean im a nice guy and everything.... but when ur a nice guy toa girl.. all that happens is u become a close friend. which then leads to her saying" i couldnt date u, ur like my brother"... and some of u guys know wat im talking about... then theres even the people that pretend to be happy with u...man that hurts more then even someone cheating... going out with someone then have them say they have been faking being happy for the whole time u were going out.... that just destroys ur world and makes u being to think if ur really that bad with a relashonship.. but honestly relashonships arent really that hard to maintain... show proper respecet, be trustworthy and open minded.. another thing that hurts alot is when u love someone and the feeling is mutal but u cant do anything about it.. becasue there is that one friend that likes her.. and if u 2 started dating it woul crush him.. i mean wtf... its sad i care more about others feelings then i do myself... liek seriously i could have dated her... and possibly even more... but becasue i didnt want to see someoen else get hurt we decided not to.. then not a day goes by u hate urself for not being able to take that chance... its sad becasue... that was the one time i loved anyone liek that.. i havent loved anyone like that...Sadly i probably wont... becasue that rejection.. no not rejection but that decsion broke me... there has been a few people that has come into my life.. but i cant love them.. like for some reason i feel as if i dont know how anymore.. people say to move on and to forget about her.... u cant forget someoen that is impacted ur life so much.. brought u back from being on the brink of death... sadly i have scar on my hand.. which will always remind me of her.. i will live with it for the rest of my natural born life.. but id rather remeber the good times we had then the bad....Love impacts everyones life differently... it could make someone happy and it can break them... everyone goes througha break once in there life... but they learn from it.. adapt from it... and try and better themselfs if its even themselfes that has to be fixed..... i want to love again.. i want to find someone i can hold for hours on end.. someone i want to see every single day.. someone i want to call to see how there day is going.. i want someone that i can go camping with and stair at teh stars all night and stare into her gorgeous eyes and jsut absorb everything.. but nothing comes that easy in life.. and everyone says in due time.. i dont belive that.... some people were ment to be alone... someone die alone.... im begging to think i may be one of them...... on a end note... this was jsut some of the thigns going through my head right now.. just had to get it out