(no subject)
Chapter one.
Page one.
Let's start from the beginning, shall we? Problem is, I don't really know where to begin. I'll just pick a point then, let's go with the sixth grade. Shy, very shy. A go-getter of the sorts. School was a top priority then, back when I was young. Trying to please my parents, following the school system and doing as I was told. Making grades, being one of the smart kids, and knowing nothing other than that. A few friends, here and there. Wanting to be popular, but completely unable to do so. Trying trying trying, the depths of effort seemed unending.
Seventh grade. Still focused on school. Grades were a must, who could fathom otherwise? Same hair-do for years now, too scared to change it. Appearance is overly important for some reason, I still don't know why. Always playing with my hair, trying to make it stay perfect. A band nerd, but ok with it. Music was much better than athletics in my book. Did athletics anyways, thought that would help the popularity. Friends parents split up, and I had no idea why or how to handle it. In the dark sort of.
Eigth grade. Best friend basically stops talking to me because he had cooler friends then. Big mistunderstanding. Friends from band went to high school. Feeling small, insecure. Tearing myself up over every dissappointment. Grades slip slightly, I blame it on the computer. A year passed by with nothing accomplished.
Ninth grade. First year of high school. See old friends from middle school, but things are different now. In band, good group of friends. Terrible relationship. Six break-ups. Changed hair finally, still insecure. Shy around new people still, not really knowing who "myself" is. Still trying in school, but not as hard as before. Computer and playing games take up much time. Time passed quickly and a new year came.
Tenth grade. Good year. Good relationship. Year of change, find myself and my voice. Develope opinions and learn to think on my own. Grades fall, much to the dismay of the parents. School drifting out of focus, learning that it's the people you meet that matter, not what you do. Close friend moves to college, guiding light disappears and I set out to do it on my own.
Eleventh grade. Started smoking over the summer. Best friend gone because of this. Meet new interesting people, with an aura of brilliance all around them. Grades fall severly. Focus is gone, mind always wondering. Day dreaming seventy percent of the day. Good relationships. Hard relationships. Character was built, heart made stronger. New group of friends is found. Feeling on belonging finally come. No longer a loner. Asperations fade, monotony takes over.
Twelvth grade. Same friends, bonds stronger. Lots of trouble with parents, but nothing changes. Closer to my brother. Realize life passes quickly by, and it must be lived now and not when I'm retired. Family problems. Girl problems. Try my hardest to succeed in something and fail horribly. Most painful moment of my entire life. Time heals all wounds. Scars bear reminders, thoughts always there but in the dark. Take on academic challenges, but more smiles than studies. Lots of problems with girls, bad choices, many mistakes.
I wouldn't bother reading this if I were you, just trying to figure out why I am who I am.
Page one.
Let's start from the beginning, shall we? Problem is, I don't really know where to begin. I'll just pick a point then, let's go with the sixth grade. Shy, very shy. A go-getter of the sorts. School was a top priority then, back when I was young. Trying to please my parents, following the school system and doing as I was told. Making grades, being one of the smart kids, and knowing nothing other than that. A few friends, here and there. Wanting to be popular, but completely unable to do so. Trying trying trying, the depths of effort seemed unending.
Seventh grade. Still focused on school. Grades were a must, who could fathom otherwise? Same hair-do for years now, too scared to change it. Appearance is overly important for some reason, I still don't know why. Always playing with my hair, trying to make it stay perfect. A band nerd, but ok with it. Music was much better than athletics in my book. Did athletics anyways, thought that would help the popularity. Friends parents split up, and I had no idea why or how to handle it. In the dark sort of.
Eigth grade. Best friend basically stops talking to me because he had cooler friends then. Big mistunderstanding. Friends from band went to high school. Feeling small, insecure. Tearing myself up over every dissappointment. Grades slip slightly, I blame it on the computer. A year passed by with nothing accomplished.
Ninth grade. First year of high school. See old friends from middle school, but things are different now. In band, good group of friends. Terrible relationship. Six break-ups. Changed hair finally, still insecure. Shy around new people still, not really knowing who "myself" is. Still trying in school, but not as hard as before. Computer and playing games take up much time. Time passed quickly and a new year came.
Tenth grade. Good year. Good relationship. Year of change, find myself and my voice. Develope opinions and learn to think on my own. Grades fall, much to the dismay of the parents. School drifting out of focus, learning that it's the people you meet that matter, not what you do. Close friend moves to college, guiding light disappears and I set out to do it on my own.
Eleventh grade. Started smoking over the summer. Best friend gone because of this. Meet new interesting people, with an aura of brilliance all around them. Grades fall severly. Focus is gone, mind always wondering. Day dreaming seventy percent of the day. Good relationships. Hard relationships. Character was built, heart made stronger. New group of friends is found. Feeling on belonging finally come. No longer a loner. Asperations fade, monotony takes over.
Twelvth grade. Same friends, bonds stronger. Lots of trouble with parents, but nothing changes. Closer to my brother. Realize life passes quickly by, and it must be lived now and not when I'm retired. Family problems. Girl problems. Try my hardest to succeed in something and fail horribly. Most painful moment of my entire life. Time heals all wounds. Scars bear reminders, thoughts always there but in the dark. Take on academic challenges, but more smiles than studies. Lots of problems with girls, bad choices, many mistakes.
I wouldn't bother reading this if I were you, just trying to figure out why I am who I am.