(no subject)
well, i'm having trouble figuring this journal thing out.. everyone else has a "current mood" but i can't figure out how to do it. oh well..
current mood: eh
my baby is so cute!
i'm so tired. i've been getting up way to early to work a boring job for (only) five hours, then staying up for my evening classes (every friggin night) and eating dinner way to late and staying up way to late, just to start all over again. in high shcool, i used to think that life was so rough cause i had to ... what, do nothing? now i have a family, i work and go to school. now, don't get me wrong, i love where i am in life, i just kinda wish that i could have waited to get into this so far. i was so ready to get married and have kids and live on my own and have my own life, but i never realized that that came with bills, groceries, ZERO social life, and tons of responsibility. when i was pregnant, i couldnt wait to not be pregnant so that i could go out and drink with my friends again, but now i can't do that anyway because i feel bad leaving clayton at home with the baby by himself (because he doesnt have any friends) and taking him with me means i have to find someone to babysit. i dont want to be one of those moms who just throws their kid off on people all the time and whose parents raise their children for them. i just wish i could start over again at graduation. that would be so much better--there are so many things i would do differently. *sigh* but i can't just live in the past, i guess.. too much has happened since then. now the freedom i so longed before came and went in the blink of an eye.
oh, and i figured the mood thing out finally.
current mood: eh
my baby is so cute!
i'm so tired. i've been getting up way to early to work a boring job for (only) five hours, then staying up for my evening classes (every friggin night) and eating dinner way to late and staying up way to late, just to start all over again. in high shcool, i used to think that life was so rough cause i had to ... what, do nothing? now i have a family, i work and go to school. now, don't get me wrong, i love where i am in life, i just kinda wish that i could have waited to get into this so far. i was so ready to get married and have kids and live on my own and have my own life, but i never realized that that came with bills, groceries, ZERO social life, and tons of responsibility. when i was pregnant, i couldnt wait to not be pregnant so that i could go out and drink with my friends again, but now i can't do that anyway because i feel bad leaving clayton at home with the baby by himself (because he doesnt have any friends) and taking him with me means i have to find someone to babysit. i dont want to be one of those moms who just throws their kid off on people all the time and whose parents raise their children for them. i just wish i could start over again at graduation. that would be so much better--there are so many things i would do differently. *sigh* but i can't just live in the past, i guess.. too much has happened since then. now the freedom i so longed before came and went in the blink of an eye.
oh, and i figured the mood thing out finally.