baseball and love
as a new baseball season is upon us and once again i am filled with hope that this could be "the year" i thought i`d write a little post about the similarities between a new season and a new relationship. the short answer is they always start with such joy and hope but for 29 out of 30 of us they end in tears and disappointment. so looking back at some past mets years and some past girls i`ve known i made a little list of parallels starting from least painful to most with quotes from each. i hope you enjoy.
1) you quickly realize the team doesn't have the talent to contend/ you quickly releaze that this drunkin hookup is gong nowhere. "who the fuck are eric valent, esix snead, and victor diaz? and why are they the starting outfield?"/ "i like my girls to be sexy, interesting, and fun. and you`re barely 1 for 3"
2) the season is just dragging to nowhere when the football season starts and the new sport grabs your interest/ she has a lot of friends who are cuter than her ie; new potential always trumps current mediocrity. "with a.j. duhe retiring there is nothing that can stop the jets this year!"/ "i`d like to stay friends. by the way is your sister back from collage for good"
3) the team betrays you by trading away your favorite player/ the girl betrays you "they traded dykstra and mcdowell for jaun samuel!!! why, god, why?/ "what do you mean you kinda, sorta fucked him?"
4 ) injuries and medical issues decimate a potentially good years/ medical issues decimate your sanity "hey jose reyes, a guy who had open heart surgery came back to play quicker than you and your sore hamstring."/ i just came to terms with your coke problem and now you`re telling me you have herpes....i gotta go."
5) a lack of a key player or girl to do a simple act turns what could be a championship year or great relationship into heartbreak and tragedy (red sox fans call it the buckner rule). "c`mon beltran it`s the bottom of the ninth and the bases are loaded, just swing the goddamn bat... ARRRGHHH YOU`RE KILLING ME!/ really?!? still!?!! get the fuck over him already!!! ARRRRRGHHH YOU`RE KILLING ME!
so every spring/ everytime a pretty girl smiles at me i think this could be it. hope is but the first step on the road to dissapointment but it also makes life worth living so say it with me:
LETS GO METS/ AMY!!!!!!!