Damn...
(this is a private post. please comment at la_journals)
Danny...god. He's hurt.
Some jerk took the handicapped space. I know he hates having to park there, but fuck, there's a reason for it. I hate people like that.
Then Danny tried to hurry to class. And he fell, his leg gave out on him. Because he fell, he twisted his body, and landed hard.
His back is like one huge bruise, it's all down his hip. He looked so bad, when I was helping him get into some sweats which were more comfortable...
And...I realised something. I mean, I knew it. I did. But...
Danny's never going to totally recover from the accident. And I feel so damned bad about that. Not guilty, not any more. Mark and Danny have managed to drive it into my thick skull that it wasn't my fault, but dammit. No matter what, I was driving, and that does make me feel bad. No matter how much it wasn't my fault, I was still driving when one of the men I love was hurt.
That's something I'll never be able to forget.
And it hurts me, whenever he's hurt, or sick, and it stems from that. I'm not blaming myself, it just...reminds me.
But I love him. I hold onto that every day. Both of them.
Danny...god. He's hurt.
Some jerk took the handicapped space. I know he hates having to park there, but fuck, there's a reason for it. I hate people like that.
Then Danny tried to hurry to class. And he fell, his leg gave out on him. Because he fell, he twisted his body, and landed hard.
His back is like one huge bruise, it's all down his hip. He looked so bad, when I was helping him get into some sweats which were more comfortable...
And...I realised something. I mean, I knew it. I did. But...
Danny's never going to totally recover from the accident. And I feel so damned bad about that. Not guilty, not any more. Mark and Danny have managed to drive it into my thick skull that it wasn't my fault, but dammit. No matter what, I was driving, and that does make me feel bad. No matter how much it wasn't my fault, I was still driving when one of the men I love was hurt.
That's something I'll never be able to forget.
And it hurts me, whenever he's hurt, or sick, and it stems from that. I'm not blaming myself, it just...reminds me.
But I love him. I hold onto that every day. Both of them.