(no subject)
so its been a long time. yep yep it has. not alot has changed since the last time i updated this, and i dont know if anything will. besides im a year older and my birthday just sorta came and went without it even being much like a birthday at all. weird thing is im really content with it. no party, no one to see, a couple phone calls. yeah...much like the previous year or so. (minus kim and nadia coming up to my work last year). anyways, yeah so i was totally ok with it this year. i didnt expect anymore than what went down. and what went down was nothing. ah, ive been a really wierd mood lately. kinda like a pre-midlife crisis or something. only without the crisis. i just have been thinking alot about life and myself and people in the mix and just wondering where we are all suppose to go from here. and even if where we should go is gonna make me happy. strange thing is at this exact moment im very happy....with no special reason to be. i think that also can be the best kind of happiness, happiness without the work or happiness without anything, just general calm of contentness. haha, im making no fucking sense. the only thing that keeps running through my head when i think about all this is "you better get started living or get started dieing" thats a butchered mis-quote from the shawshank redemption. but yeah i feel like that sorta, not making plans and whenever i can find time to do things do them instead of planning the mess out and doing things for reasons outside of just doing them. oh god. im done with this shit its making no sense, im sure, to anyone besides me. and i dont read these anymore anyways........so bye for now....until.........