still and breathless

May 26, 2004 21:47

sitting here...looking at the empty window, ready to type, ready to press enter after that...i want to so bad...i mean..its only a few words, i know we're not talking and everything, but shit...what if the call earlier was important and i missed it...You broke the rules...now I'll pull out all your pubic hair...I cant feel anything, I'm numb...I'm in this state of shock, I cant explain what it is...I cried so hard the other night...to the point where I was dry...to sleep. my wrist is still broken, lol...I keep expecting to wake up in the morning, and be able to just rip my cast off, play drums, do pushups, and just flail my hand around just because i can...but, i cant...everything lately feels like a dream, for the soul reason that i never thought it would happen, especially now...drumming left handed is improving, alot i must say. I think its great how i'm handicapped both physically and emotionally...i cant believe the window's still open...im still looking at it..FUCKING SHIT! STOP IT!
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