(no subject)
SO I survived. I survived my first year as a teacher. I survived moving. I survived my 4th of July Party. I survived without a certain person. Even through all this survival I still miss her which has been the reason for calling her. We have had a couple nice conversations and it feels like maybe things will fit back together not as they were but as people that can still talk and share things. Thinking about what I want and what I need, I think that is the best.
I have been avoiding my livejournal. I have been insanely busy. Didn't have a computer connection for a solid week or so which kills me because I am a giant dork. This summer I really need to decide what I want from life. Do I want to teach? Do I want to devote most of my energy, my motivation, my creativity to the classroom? or Do I want an office job? A 9 to 5er? Where I sell my soul out to the highest bidder to do what needs to be done without doing too much or working too hard? Where maybe I can devote time to writing and other creative outlets that I have denied myself. What do I want to sacrifice? I am as confused as I was last summer. I did it for one year but do I want to still do it. If I stay into teaching I decided I will stay at small private schools. I really do not want to work for a public organization where you have a list of guidelines of what to teach and how to teach. I do not want to be a paint by the numbers teacher. I am sorry I cannot conform to public school policy I decided against that a few months ago after talking to a friend.
Also at this point and time it's more about luck what job will get me first. Working dillingently on craigslist, the sun paper, the city paper, etc etc etc. Also found some teacher websites I am looking into. Even though I'm out of school I still feel like I'm living life 77 mph. Especially on Monday night coming back from a party driving 77 mph on 100 when I got pulled over. But just a warning. I needed a warning.
I have a huge pile of books I am currently reading and planning on reading...
The Templar Revelation : Secret Guardians of Christ Identity (this book is really spooky and creepy in every sort of way)
Hardcore Zen : Punk Rock, Monster Movies, & the Truth about Reality by Brad Warner
Desolation Angels by Jack Kerouac
Selected Poems by Pablo Neruda
and this biography of some Irish punk rocker that played with Joe Strummer and Shane McGowan.
I have been avoiding my livejournal. I have been insanely busy. Didn't have a computer connection for a solid week or so which kills me because I am a giant dork. This summer I really need to decide what I want from life. Do I want to teach? Do I want to devote most of my energy, my motivation, my creativity to the classroom? or Do I want an office job? A 9 to 5er? Where I sell my soul out to the highest bidder to do what needs to be done without doing too much or working too hard? Where maybe I can devote time to writing and other creative outlets that I have denied myself. What do I want to sacrifice? I am as confused as I was last summer. I did it for one year but do I want to still do it. If I stay into teaching I decided I will stay at small private schools. I really do not want to work for a public organization where you have a list of guidelines of what to teach and how to teach. I do not want to be a paint by the numbers teacher. I am sorry I cannot conform to public school policy I decided against that a few months ago after talking to a friend.
Also at this point and time it's more about luck what job will get me first. Working dillingently on craigslist, the sun paper, the city paper, etc etc etc. Also found some teacher websites I am looking into. Even though I'm out of school I still feel like I'm living life 77 mph. Especially on Monday night coming back from a party driving 77 mph on 100 when I got pulled over. But just a warning. I needed a warning.
I have a huge pile of books I am currently reading and planning on reading...
The Templar Revelation : Secret Guardians of Christ Identity (this book is really spooky and creepy in every sort of way)
Hardcore Zen : Punk Rock, Monster Movies, & the Truth about Reality by Brad Warner
Desolation Angels by Jack Kerouac
Selected Poems by Pablo Neruda
and this biography of some Irish punk rocker that played with Joe Strummer and Shane McGowan.