dramatic theroys are worthless
right now im feeling a distence with complacancy, dont get me wrong thought my spelling is, it could be a good thing. I got to bath yesterday direct route from cuse where the players happen to play. I spent time with ty whom is very suportive curently. she has new friends and this shuld be expected, but guilt,jeliousy and depression come of the situation of her somewhat filling the gap of me being gone. I feel so shitty about myself so i over compensate with being nice to total strangers. i love her and have for the past 3 and a half years. it's a game of making up lost time and i hope i can do it but in the same retrospect i have to tiptoe on a thin line to mkae sure i dont have to make up anymore time. october 2, 2007 i'll be at ease to the mind to know i can take her around the world twice. when i get old and gray i hope to look back on the times im living with a lil bit of humor and no resentments knowing i did my best regardlss of the outcome. i'm only as good as my best efforts, nothing more. I just hope to learn to love myself and get a real sense of humor back becase life with outone is a shadow of an exsistence and you hate it when everyone was right and you just didnt listen. I'm just going to get through this one just because present at a time. She says she loves me yaeh yeah yeah or so the beatles said atleast somethng close to that.