y? *wave*
hi again...
(i think it's funny how i look for love in the people who absolutely dont need me & visa versa)
needed to say- i feel stupid coming back to this fucking thing... i think im just desperate for someone to talk too....at 1:35 in the morning. go figure my universal logic. loneliness is'nt the most comforting feeling. & i feel i feel too much & all too clearly. where it does'nt feel like living- just taunting.
in my absence i've gone through spells of love-hate-apathy-stress-torment-paranoia-depression-& a mental suicide. i've abandoned emotions for some people- & my friends list, in wide perspective, is comprised of strangers.
i see no clear point in preserving my being into words to post on the internet- as if searching for some evidence that im 1: entirely alone, or 2: a statistic of adolescence.
i no longer hug people without asking "how are they going to fuck me over- to where i'd hate this very moment?" with the exception of,really,one person, who, as far as i can think, feels the same, everyone else is just there...taking up space. & i'd be no different in how they see me.
living- some days- is only worth glancing at a persons eyes as you rush through empty school halls & wells. and im happy that it never feels trite & cheap.
-Fi.n-